My Girlfriend passed away

Discussion in 'Fibromyalgia Main Forum' started by srollins, Apr 15, 2003.

  1. srollins

    srollins New Member

    this morning. Actually she didn't wake up.She was 60 and very diabetic.We don't know yet exactly what happened.Here I set sweating like a pig I have Shingles that is not responding to meds.How will I ever get through this. My son is getting a divorce and thats a bad scene.My Mother is veggieing,waiting to pass,my roof leaks and my husband blames me.My brother is very depressed and my sister has not spoken to me in 6 years.
    Oh my God Joanne is gone.I didn't get to say good-bye.
  2. layinglow

    layinglow New Member

    I am so sorry for your loss. You sound as if in addition to this you have so much on your plate. Deal with your loss and grief, and take good care of yourself so as to heal. It is so hard to lose a loved one suddenly and unexpectedly. It just knocks the wind out of you, as there is no time to prepare. Please try to set those things that you can on the back burner for now, and see to saying goodbye to your dear friend, and taking good care of yourself. We have no control over so many things that come up in life. We can only control our responses to them. Now is the time to grieve, and not worry about divorces, and leaky roofs, and siblings who will not speak. Just one small step at a time. Again, I am so sorry ---girl friends are such a wonderful blessing, and I know a great loss for you. God Bless You, and Comfort You. LL
  3. OuchyMama

    OuchyMama New Member

    I am so sorry for the loss of your friend. I will keep you and your many trials in my prayers.
  4. jstbrznby

    jstbrznby New Member

    I am so so so sorry for your loss, ure wish there was something we could do to help you thru this!!! Nothing worse than loosing the ones we love. I just feel so bad for you. Just know you are HUGGED and loved!!!!!

    Pam2
  5. Bellesmom

    Bellesmom New Member

    to help you during this time. I have no words to help but please know I care.

    My only sister (younger than I) died 3 years ago and was buried April 15, 2000. This is also my dad's birthday so today has been difficult. I will never stop missing her.

    There is no preparation for a loss such as this and to have so many added stresses makes one feel very alone.

    May the dear Lord comfort you and hopefully some little word one of us says will make a difference for you at this time.

    Love
    Pam
  6. babyblues68

    babyblues68 New Member

    I'm so sorry for your loss. I will be praying for Joanne's family. I will also keep you in my prayers with all the troubles you are going thru.

    Tammy
  7. Bambi

    Bambi New Member

    I've said on here before that in '97 my mother
    and ALL of my very close girlfriends died within
    months of each other, all of different but sudden causes. That year and all of the next are
    really just blurs to me. People say they sometimes see things in slow motion, but for me
    those years are as if someone put them on ultra
    fast forward..truly a literal blur. I did find a
    good book on grief..you have to look through
    several and find one you think fits your needs.
    The one I got had clear and sensible descriptions of all the stages I would go through and what to expect, as well as pages to
    write on like a grief journal. I bought a separate journal rather than do it in the book.
    It helped some, but living through it is the only way to truly heal. The first step is shock
    and pain and you really need to let out the
    feelings, cry, cry and cry if you need to. What
    ever you do don't skip a stage, and they don't
    go in the same order for all. You may also think
    you have gone through one stage and suddenly
    find you are back in it. Your body WILL take the
    effects if you don't go clear through all the
    stages or if you try to go under, over or around a step..it must be THROUGH it. We all grieve differently but in the end we all have the same
    steps. My wish for you is that you will give
    yourself the time and work it takes. For me it
    hasn't gone away and some days I feel like it was only yesterday, but it is a little softer,
    a little easier, more memories of the good times
    come through all the time and my missing them is
    more bearable a step at a time. Take good care
    of yourself, eat well, rest, you may be more
    accident prone for awhile so think about what
    you are doing. Get a book and do a journal if you want to. Time truly does heal all wounds,
    or at least softens them. Take care and we will
    all be thinking of you! ((((((HUGS~~BAMBI))))))
  8. kredca4

    kredca4 New Member

    You know in spite of our Syndromes we are Strong People, and I will say a Prayer for you.

    I know how you feel, Truly, my Best Friend was killed by a careless driver while on Vacation. I too didn't get to say good-bye, and I didn't have a phone at the time, so no one could let me know. I Missed her Services, and I drive by where she lies at least 3 or 4 times a week. So I think of her often, in fact I usually talk to her as I'm driving by, nutty huh?

    It's a shock, and with time, the hurt will ease some, but I still find myself Missing her , and wishing I could call her to talk things over.

    I'm sorry that you have lost your BestFriend, but you will see Her again.
    God Bless You,
    sharon
  9. leokat

    leokat New Member

    I'm so sorry to hear about your friend and all the other stuff thats going on right now.

    As has already been said words just aren't enough. You will, I'm sure, be in the thoughts of many here though.

    Give yourself the room to grieve - do whatever you need to.

    As for you not being able to say goodbye to your friend - I know how that can be. Recently I had to be offline for a while. When I came back online a mutual friend told me that a cyber friend of mine had died. I'd known she was very sick but I just didn't expect it. My feelings were overwhelming even though we'd never met in person. Worst of all were the feelings that I hadn't even said goodbye.

    You and Joanne were friends that is a special gift to cherish always.

    *Hugs*
    Leo
  10. gritman

    gritman New Member

    to you during this most tragic and rather troubling time that you are going through. I lost my very closest friend 4 years ago and know how this can be. May you harness all of your strength to get you through this most difficult period. I am so sorry for your loss. I am sure she was very special to you. When the hurt begins to let up some may you remember the great times and momments you shared together. Let these great memories heal your broken heart. May God bless you always.

    Gritman
  11. KayL

    KayL New Member

    I know that nothing we say will make the pain of your loss any easier to deal with. But you do have the support of everyone here. I am so sorry, I do know what you are going through. {{{{{{{{{{{{{{{hugs}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}

    Karen
  12. srollins

    srollins New Member

    For all your kind words of encouragement. It means so much to have so many people take the time to care so unconditionally.
    I just got up and was hoping it was just a dream.Then I picked up the newspaper. It is so alarming to see the name of someone you love in print,to tell you they are gone and I'm helpless to bring her back.It's almost like I'm being taunted.
    To Bellesmom(Pam) I am sorry you lost your sister on April 15th as well Now I know pretty much how that feels Joanne was like my sister and she died on April 15th.She

    died on my Birthday.
    right now I can't think.My body is so sick and my emotions...Well I am not sure about my emotions, I am going to attempt one hour at a time for now.
  13. pam_d

    pam_d New Member

    for the loss of your beloved friend, and the tough times you are going through. Please know you have all our prayers & can always count on us for comfort and understanding. We will always be here for you....

    Warm hugs,
    Pam
  14. LITEFLAMES

    LITEFLAMES New Member

    I know it"s terrable to lose anyone ,
    I lost my borother 13 yr"s ago,
    I know he"s in a good place (heaven)
    so is you"r friend my prayer's go out to you & her family
    God bless you
    Cindy
  15. sarahfemme

    sarahfemme New Member

    I am so sorry for your loss! It is never easy to lose someone dear to you. You are in a very tough situation, and I know that you are having a rough time with very little support right now. I suggest that you find a good therapist. There are usually ones around whowork on a sliding fee scale, or, if you don't feel comfortable with a therapist, a clergyperson. That will give you someone to vent to, to share your intense feeling with safely, and provide you with some outside support. Also, there are groups for grief counseling. My heart goes out to you and I'll keep you in my thoughts.
    -Sarah
  16. little

    little Member

    I am so sorry to here about your friend. My prayers and thoughts are with you.I am sorry also for your other stresses. Some times things seem to hit us all at once. You will get through all of this.Take your time and remember to take care of your self and don't over do it. Love and Hugs. Gail
  17. Sandyz

    Sandyz New Member

    My deepest sympathy to you. You are under tremendous stress right now. Just try to deal with one small thing at a time. I`m praying for you, that God will lighten this heavy burden you carry and help you through this difficult time. Think of the good times, it really does help.
  18. marilew

    marilew New Member

    Please accept my deepest sympathies, and my prayers for you during this time of trials and tribulations. We also lost my brother-in-law on April 14 1993 in a car accident, so I know how desperate you feel.
    All the prayers that you will receive from here will not go unanswered s.
    Like someone else said...take baby steps, and just go one hour @ a time.
    M
  19. Mrs. B

    Mrs. B New Member

    Scrollins,

    I am very sorry for your loss but, God has a plan for us all. My grandfather passed away on my birthday and my mother passed away just a couple of months ago. Through my sorrow and the dark tunnel of depression and loss I found peace and a way to rejoice in the fact that they are home at last and waiting at the feet of Jesus for my work to be done here so I can join them. I pray that you also find peace and hope through Jesus. He said He would never forsake us and He won't. You need only to put your burdens and fears on Him.

    God bless,
    Mrs. B
  20. marta

    marta New Member

    I so very sorry for your loss. With this DD it seems that we lose enough without losing those who love us and whom we love.

    Take things a minute at a time - a second at a time, until you are stronger. You will be stronger....

    Marta