My heart is broken!

Discussion in 'Spirituality/Worship' started by ginn266, Nov 20, 2004.

  1. ginn266

    ginn266 New Member

    I need prayer from everyone. My husband told me last night that I was right, that he has became close to someone at work and they kissed once. He said it was only one time, but I don't know if I believe that. I knew someithing was happening about a month and half ago and that's when it happened.

    We were already talking about separtating. I am not sure if I have enough energy to even try to work on this marriage anymore. He is sorry and wants to work on things if I do, but is scared it won't work out. He did say if he left he would go stay at the woman's house in the other room she has because he has no friends now because everyone would be angry at him. So that makes me want to end it, it makes me feel like he does want to be with her over me.

    I am looking down a really hard path, I know the Lord will get me through this and I am holding onto HIM, he is all I have. Gin
  2. Mikie

    Mikie Moderator

    I know this feels just like being kicked in the gut. Right now isn't the time to make any kind of long-term decision. Therapy will help you no matter whether you decide to work on the marriage or split. It would be helpful for your husband too to help him sort out his feelings.

    He is obviously feeling guilty and if he is willing to work on the marriage, it may be a good sign if you think you could possibly get beyond this and trust him again. The problem lies in the fact that they work together and the fact that he has already thought this out and would move into this woman's house. As long as he is continuing his relationship with her, he cannot work on the marriage.

    My prayers are with you whatever you decide to do. Please take very good care of yourself as this is one of the most stressful things a person can go through. I know, because I've been down that road myself.

    Love and blessings, Mikie
  3. Lupian

    Lupian New Member

    I've been in the same shoes. Honey, Mikie gave you good advice - therapy will hlp you grow strong in yourself, no matter what decisions you make. Don't make any decisions right now that will affect your future until you have been able to recover from the shock and can work through issues with a counselor.
    One thing to bear in mind - you DID NOT deserve this. Nothing you did or did not do is responsible for his act.
    The strength you will receive that belongs to you will make all the decisions clear for you and you will be happy again. Just hang on and hang in for now, and find a counselor you are comfortable talking with. You do not have to make any decision based on today's misery.
    Big hugs - please keep us posted
    AND BELIEVE IN YOURSELF!!
  4. tandy

    tandy New Member


    I pray for you to get thru this hard time~
    I feel horrible for what your going thru.
    Men can be such jerks ya know!
    Sometimes things like this are a blessing in disguise~
    I know it hurts so bad but maybe theres better times,better people waiting for you to be open.

    Once at a very down period of my life,I could'nt see anything good coming my way(none at all) but in time I was better off and I came out strong and ahead!!
    Jesus will get you thru this!!! Believe and trust in him!! I'll be hoping things will turn out good in the end.
    Hugs
    Tandy
  5. ginn266

    ginn266 New Member

    Thank you all for your support and prayers. I am so confused and don't know what to do. I am just going to take it one day at a time and not make any decisions yet.

    Hugs
    Gin
  6. Lupian

    Lupian New Member

    in taking everything one day at a time and making no major decisions at this time. Your strength is with you and God will not let you fall. Just hang on and hang in. God bless you
  7. roadkill

    roadkill New Member

    IN NO UNCERTAIN TERMS MUST YOUR HUSBAND EVER EVER SEE THIS WOMAN AGAIN if he expects you to let him continue your marriage.

    You must let him know that this will not be tolerated in any fashion. If this woman is at his work then he must move to a different department or find a new job.

    You're relationship will only continue to bleed if he keeps on with the selfish behaviour.

    Close the exits and he will be forced to work on the marriage or to leave.



  8. ginn266

    ginn266 New Member

    I have already made that a must if we stay together that he has to find another job. She is from Germany and will be going back in Jaunuary, but he still needs to leave, his job is so demanding and there is no time for his family. Right now I am looking for a counselor for us to see and he is sleeping in our basement until we know what we are going to do. Please keep praying because I still don't know what I want.

    Thanks
    Gin
  9. Shirl

    Shirl New Member

    You have already received some great advice, all I will add is that this woman sure sounds like she is 'pushing the plate' offering him a place to stay!

    You know, like the rest of you, I am a woman, I am also a firm believer that its up to the 'woman' to make the first move, even if the man makes an 'offer', its up to us to say 'yes' or 'no'.

    Keep this in mind before you make your final decision. It is possible your husband is a 'victim' here. Some women are very aggressive, and lets face it, its flattering to a married man to get some outside attention now and then. Most of them would not admit it like your husband did, I give him credit for being that honest.

    Will be praying for both of you and your family. You take care of yourself, pray long and hard before you make any decisions.


    Shalom, Shirl