My heart is broken

Discussion in 'Spirituality/Worship' started by tlayne, Aug 22, 2006.

  1. tlayne

    tlayne Member

    Please understand and give me time to add these updates to the prayer list.

    I am really ready to end this marriage. I know that it isn't right, but I just can't do it anymore.

    I got off work today, and went straight to the nearest big town here to shop for my grandson's school clothes (the first day is tomorrow). I got home at 9:30, needless to say exhausted. He threw a fit. Yelling at me "I told you to get him a pair of pants and a shirt and come home, it's 9:30!"

    Then he asked me how much I spent ($300.00). And then he blew a cork! amoung other things he asked me "when are you going to start contributing a paycheck, this just isn't worth it."

    I supported this family with my paycheck, sometimes working 60 hours a week, before I had this flare in March! He decided to be self employed 2 yrs ago, and he has drank himself into lala land since then. He has spent so much money in this darn buisness, over 200 thousand, and he doesn't have clue how to handle finances. He just drinks and thinks it will manage itself.

    I really can't do this anymore. Please pray that this bleeding ulcer will be healed, and that I will have good health to support my grandson (whom we have adopted) and myself.

    I am sorry for going on. I just really need you and your prayers right now. Love and blessings to you all, Tam
  2. Asatrump

    Asatrump New Member

    My heart goes out to you. I can't imagine living with a man like that. Marriage isn't easy, but it should not be impossible.

    I doubt you will have much improvement on your bleeding ulcer until your emotions can stablizie.

    I am neither a doctor nor a shrink, just another fms person who will pray for you and your situation. I am sure there are special circumstance that you had to adopt your grandson, that takes a special devotion and love. Bless you for putting organization, love and guidance in the life of your grandson.

    Prayers for you, and your situation.
  3. sixtyslady

    sixtyslady Member

    I just feel for you, I know how diffult it can be, to be the only one in a marriage.
    my husband doesn"t drink but he takes no responsiblity for anything its like having another child.
    we have a 12,000 bill that his Ins won"t pay and I"ve been trying to get it resolve for over 2 mos now with appeals and letters to different source,s.
    I manage all of our rental property,take care of all the finace,s, take care of all the vet issues with our horses.the maintenace on the cars, all legal matters and I"ve begged him to help me he just won"t.he lives life like hes 14yrs old and not a care in the world, even our 22yr old son has told him that he needs to help me,so I"m not under so much stress, he just won"t.

    He can"t even use the phone without asking me the no.
    when I was sick in Jan he had to write checks and pay bills ,He totally messed up the checking account.
    I pray for help daily, to be able to deal with this.
    I will pray for you and your family,its so hard to live in that find of relationship. hugs sixtyslady
  4. getridof

    getridof New Member

    When I read your message title, I was shocked.

    Listen, I have nothing to say about your marrige (i guess I have no right because I'm not married yet). I just want to tell you I'll pray for you, I'll pray that God would give you strength to have a solution (no matter what the solution is).

    I think that's not enough to just pray, or you can share with friends or professional? I don't know. I'm too stupid to offer any constructive idea....

    wish you well
  5. morningsonshine

    morningsonshine New Member

    Tam, i don't know what to say to you, just know that i feel for you and will pray.

    These situations can be so difficult, and alcohol is so destructive. You need to do what it takes to take care of yourself and Grandson, what that is, I don't know?

    But you (we) can't "fix" our spouses, and it isn't really our job to try. We can pray for him (and i will) make him a target for prayer!
    But bottom line, only he can decide to change, and reach out to God for help.

    You have the big job, of deciding wether or not you can live in a toxic relationship, or not. Bleed ulcers are not a good sign, and stress is not helpful to other problems.

    These posts just aren't enough to advice you, can you find a godly person you trust, to talk this whole thing out, and thur with??

    Sending love, and prayers

  6. caffey

    caffey New Member

    Thank you for posting. This is such a difficult time and it is too big for you to manage on your own. Do you have a support network, people from your church, or some good friends who can help you through this.
    Father could You please help Tam right now. Please give her Your peace in the midst of the storm. Please help her to be aware of Your Presence. Please give her wisdom to do what is right in this situation. Please protect her from the verbal abuse and physical abuse if there is any. Please give her courage and strength to do the right thing. Lord I just place her in Your hands and thank you for taking care of her and this situation. In Jesus Name Amen.
  7. tlayne

    tlayne Member

    I am too emotional to respond to each one of you, but PLEASE know that I cherish each of you and your prayers for me! Your heartfelt responses were felt. I cried, again.

    I have come to see you all as my support. People usually see me as a strong person, but in reality I keep my pain inside and internalize it. For my own health I am at a point where I have to make some changes.

    My little guy has grown this summer like a sunflower! He grew out of his clothes so fast that he needs a whole new wardrobe! My h doesn't understand because he never has to take care of anyone else, besides himself. I am not minimizing. I am just trying not to hold onto yucky feelings. I have known for a few years that this marriage is over. Now I realize that I have to move on for the sake of my own physical health. Unless the Dear Lord has something else in mind.

    sixtyslady are we married to the same man? lol! getridof please don't put yourself down. You don't know how much it means to me that you are praying for me! Oh man, here I go again. just can't shut off these waterworks today.

    I love you guys! Love, Tam
  8. Lulu28

    Lulu28 New Member

    Tam, I am praying that God's peace and love envelopes you, your home, your marriage and your family. I also pray for improved health for you all and a covering over everything.


  9. windblade

    windblade Active Member

    I am so sorry for your situation - really grieving for you.

    You did SO well to manage working, and then going shopping for clothes for your grandson!

    We'll all keep praying for you - until you work out what to do for your grandson and yourself. And be along-side you after that.

    Lord, bless Tam and her dear grandson. Be with her in your wisdom, and the fullness of your love. Guide her, please, and strengthen her. Thank you that you grieve with her, and will never, ever abandon her. Amen

    Special love to you, Tam
  10. Pianowoman

    Pianowoman New Member

    You have been so strong for so many of us. I pray that you will be given the strength to deal with your family situation. The right answer will come when it is time. I hope in the meantime having your grandson to love will provide you with some comfort.

  11. kgangel

    kgangel New Member

    Tam, I am so sorry!!

    Your message hits me so hard, I too had a very simalar situation in my first marriage.

    I tried so hard to save it and I mean I tried everything. He just would not give up the drinking.

    I tried to leave several times when he made me feel so guilty I had to return. Finally with a lot of prayer and support from my kids, I was free and did not go back.

    I don't know how bad your situation is, if you could or have tried counseling, there are many different kinds of counseling. I know I tried a couple of them myself. I prayed every night for 17 years for an answer, that is how long it took me.

    I can not speak for you, I can only hear what you said in this message and my heart breaks for you. I hope that if things are that bad, you will find your way out or a way to get you both help to get back on track

    I will pray for you and ask God to be with you and bless you and your family


  12. tlayne

    tlayne Member

    I can't believe all the responses for love, support, prayers and encouragement that you all have given me!!!!!! I had almost just given up, but you know what....I feel a strength and a determination. I will follow God's path which ever way he will lead me!

    I don't have to have faith in myself or my husband, only in my God! And he is more that sufficent! I feel kinda bad not responding to each of you, but this is prayer night and I have only got 6 minutes to join you all in this powerful time! Please just know that I love YOU ALL! You are truely God sent for me! I praise my God for you all! Love in Jesus Christ! Tam