My husband has cfs and I have fibro

Discussion in 'Fibromyalgia Main Forum' started by FaithHopeCure, Apr 15, 2012.

  1. FaithHopeCure

    FaithHopeCure New Member

    We both suffer and it is very difficult to raise our 11 year child when we are both suffering. We try very hard to keep our troubles from effecting him. We support each other but also get very angry that we both can't do the things we used to do. Then we blame each other for things not getting done around the house and financially we don't make as much as we used to. The arguing is much better but it still is so aggravating.

    Sometimes I think it would be better to not be together because the stress only makes our symptoms worse. Although I would never do that to our son. Marriage is so hard with this CFS/Fibro. I try to tell myself that God put us together for a reason, but then I get angry at God too for not allowing us to have a normal marriage.
    [This Message was Edited on 04/15/2012]
  2. Mikie

    Mikie Moderator

    We all go through a grieving process for the lives we used to live and now cannot. I found grief counseling very helpful. Anger is one of the steps of grieving. If one can get to acceptance, it is so much easier to cope. Acceptance doesn't mean giving up or giving out. It simply means that the denial, anger and depression no longer keep one from getting on with healing. It isn't a linear process. One can get to acceptance and slip back into anger. The trick is not to stay in anger too long.

    I pray for healing for you both and I pray for your son. Since our illnesses run in families, be watchful for symptoms in him too.

    Love, Mikie
  3. FaithHopeCure

    FaithHopeCure New Member

    So nice to have such encouraging words about this subject. Both my husband and I have had "truama" in our lives that triggered the CFS and Fibro. I get frustrated because when someone has an heart attack triggered by stress they don't get frowned upon. But, when our illness gets triggered by physical or severe emotional stress then it is suppose to be something we can control.....

    We both have a strong faith and we love our son like crazy, so somehow we get through the craziness of it all. I have noticed that when my husband is very sick and I manage to help him get through it, I end up crashing and burning. Then he starts to help out and then his energy crashes and burns. It is very rare that we both go through a good period at the same time. Although, we do seem to catch ourselves from staying in the anger mode too long. We both know that we are doing the best we can and try to give each other the space we need to recover and heal. It has gotten better between us over time. We do have more good days than bad...humor does help. Yes, trying to find things we can both enjoy together helps too. But that becomes hard when different things trigger our symptoms.

    I love this site and think of all of you as my fibro angels!!!!!