My Letter to Normals

Discussion in 'Fibromyalgia and ME & Chronic Fatigue Syndrome' started by searchin4me, Aug 29, 2003.

  1. JaciBart

    JaciBart Member

    I am going to use that to help my family understand what I go thru.

    It seems like they need reminding every so often as to how it feels to be me.

    You did a great job on that, I hope it was helpful to you to write it. I wish I had the stamina to do that myself.

    Jaci
  2. lin21

    lin21 New Member

    Thanks Tammie,

    I am revising this letter and sending it to all my friends and family, especially after my one friend was so rude to me last night, get this , she thinks Aleve would solve my problem and gave me a lecture how SHE would never put THOSE kinds of medications into her body. And the best part of the whole thing is she is extremely overweight and has the nerve to preach to others.
  3. LottieWilkins

    LottieWilkins New Member

    Tammie,

    You're eloquence and clarity will go far. I'm most grateful for how thorough and comprehensive your letter is! I've said so many of these things at different times; but to have them all in one place is invaluable.

    Bless you for sharing it.

    - Lottie
  4. mumsiej

    mumsiej New Member

    Tammie,

    Wonderful letter. You have put into words what the fibro world is truly like. You have done a great deed by writing and sharing it. Every normal should read it instead of remainging uninformed and ignorant of our disease and what we go through. I had my husband read your letter and he said, "I didn't realize that you are in pain all the time."

    Thank you for writing your letter.

    mumsiej
  5. Erinys

    Erinys New Member

    The effort and clarity you put into your letter has really helped me today - empowered me to let myself be me, not beat myself up for my limitations, or let others beat on me because of them. I really needed this, and am very grateful that you shared this with us.
  6. Erinys

    Erinys New Member

    The effort and clarity you put into your letter has really helped me today - empowered me to let myself be me, not beat myself up for my limitations, or let others beat on me because of them. I really needed this, and am very grateful that you shared this with us.



    Got error when attempted to post - see if this works, apologies if duplicates
  7. pezhoarder

    pezhoarder New Member

    was awesome. i think i'll have to show it to my fiance. maybe that will make him understand why i don't have a job.
    thanks tammy!
  8. mommysisland

    mommysisland New Member



    I was searching for the "letter to normals" I've seen others refer to, it's great and wonderful to refer to, especially on a tough day.

    It's nice to see in print that we do have to decide each day what it is we can and cannot do, and that is ok and right. I still wake up thinking I "should" do what normals do, but knowing I can't, therefore I'm a failure and "not good enough" before I get out of bed.

    Thanks again for sharing your letter!

    Jessica
  9. bodynsoul

    bodynsoul New Member

    for putting into words what we all feel. I had tears in my eyes reading your letter. Even the most supportive and empathetic people have trouble understanding what we go through. I suppose I would have trouble understanding if I were "normal" and had a friend or relative with FM/CFS.

  10. love12

    love12 New Member

    Thank you SOOOO much Tammie!!! i had tears reading your letter....

    For MONTHS now I have been putting off telling friends because i could not find a way to tell them and have them understand...i tried to tell them a few times..but it never came out right..and it was quickly blown off...your letter was A M A Z I N G ! I am going to follow your letter and write one to my friends....

    again, THANK YOU SO MUCH...you made a very hard thing to do a little easier for some of us to do...

    XOXOXO
    =)
  11. Realette

    Realette Member

    The letter is heartfelt and beautiful! I will give some tough advice, pls don't take it the wrong way. Most people won't read that much. If you can provide a shorter edited version, it could be more effective for many. If someone wants an indepth look, have the longer version ready. Expresses much of my same thoughts!
  12. fatalflaw1960

    fatalflaw1960 Member

    Those who have Fibromyalgia are the only ones who can truly understand it. I am A Licensed Addictions Specialist and I had several other 'Addiction Professionals' over the years try to tell me that folks with Fibro are just looking for an excuse to use Opioids. It almost ALWAYS made them mad when I told them that Opioids are not generally a preferred treatment and only give more than short-term, partial, or temporary relief to a chronic condition. I was diagnosed in mid. 1990's by a Dr. who had ruled out everything else and told me that I had a real battle ahead of me! He was SO right. In 2002, I moved to another state and after seeing 8-10 Dr.'s finally found one who acknowledged it's existence and did not 'assume' I just wanted Opioids. I just want relief and Opioids were not an option in my book. Now, after several years with that Dr., I have relocated and am fighting the same battle again. This time, I am also dealing with a Chronic Back and Orthopedic conditions that I have thus far been taking Opioids for short periods of time in manageable doses. My fear is that once my new Dr. sees my x-rays and MRI's that they will try to ONLY treat those conditions and dismiss Fibromyalgia....
  13. msbsgblue

    msbsgblue Member

    My family would not understand if you wrote 1000 letters. I'm sick and tired of them for being sick and tired of me for how I am.
  14. samantha79

    samantha79 Member

    I have never had anyone be able to truly express what I am going through. It brought tears to my eyes...thank you.
  15. RadTech55

    RadTech55 Member

    Very thoughtful heartfelt letter, thank you. But I would edit it
    down by at least %50 because most people just won't read it.
    Not a criticism, we have become a society of borderline Luddites.

    It sounds cynical, but deep down inside, most other people just really don't
    care that much about other people's illnesses
    , *especially* ones they don't
    understand, or that have no visible gross pathology.
    Sad but true.
    Oh, they'll ACT like they care. They will listen to your explanations,
    nodding once in a while, say things like "Oh, that must be just awful for you".
    But 30 seconds after you walk away it's like the conversation never took place.

    So I just don't bother anymore. Why waste my time and perfectly good air
    trying to educate people who, really and truly, could care less? If I want to
    talk about my Fibro with people who *truly* care, I know support and process
    groups I can go to to talk with other patients like me.

    One thing that really helps me is to try and live a spiritual life. Not religious,
    religions are made by men. On a daily basis, I try to turn my will and my life over to the care
    of a Higher Power, which I chose to call God. I am powerless over my fibro. So I turn
    it over to that one who has all power, whom I call God. Oh yeah, there are the meds and treatments,
    but some days absolutely nothing works. So I turn it over, asking NOT for relief from my
    symptoms, just ask for the knowledge of His will for me, and the power to carry it out.

    Prayer and meditation helps me cope. When you pray, you talk to God.
    When you meditate, you listen for God's message. (Sometimes called schizophrenia!, haha.)

    Be well.....
    Last edited: Nov 17, 2013