My Letter to Normals

Discussion in 'Fibromyalgia Main Forum' started by searchin4me, Aug 29, 2003.

  1. JaciBart

    JaciBart Member

    I am going to use that to help my family understand what I go thru.

    It seems like they need reminding every so often as to how it feels to be me.

    You did a great job on that, I hope it was helpful to you to write it. I wish I had the stamina to do that myself.

  2. lin21

    lin21 New Member

    Thanks Tammie,

    I am revising this letter and sending it to all my friends and family, especially after my one friend was so rude to me last night, get this , she thinks Aleve would solve my problem and gave me a lecture how SHE would never put THOSE kinds of medications into her body. And the best part of the whole thing is she is extremely overweight and has the nerve to preach to others.
  3. LottieWilkins

    LottieWilkins New Member


    You're eloquence and clarity will go far. I'm most grateful for how thorough and comprehensive your letter is! I've said so many of these things at different times; but to have them all in one place is invaluable.

    Bless you for sharing it.

    - Lottie
  4. mumsiej

    mumsiej New Member


    Wonderful letter. You have put into words what the fibro world is truly like. You have done a great deed by writing and sharing it. Every normal should read it instead of remainging uninformed and ignorant of our disease and what we go through. I had my husband read your letter and he said, "I didn't realize that you are in pain all the time."

    Thank you for writing your letter.

  5. Erinys

    Erinys New Member

    The effort and clarity you put into your letter has really helped me today - empowered me to let myself be me, not beat myself up for my limitations, or let others beat on me because of them. I really needed this, and am very grateful that you shared this with us.
  6. Erinys

    Erinys New Member

    The effort and clarity you put into your letter has really helped me today - empowered me to let myself be me, not beat myself up for my limitations, or let others beat on me because of them. I really needed this, and am very grateful that you shared this with us.

    Got error when attempted to post - see if this works, apologies if duplicates
  7. pezhoarder

    pezhoarder New Member

    was awesome. i think i'll have to show it to my fiance. maybe that will make him understand why i don't have a job.
    thanks tammy!
  8. mommysisland

    mommysisland New Member

    I was searching for the "letter to normals" I've seen others refer to, it's great and wonderful to refer to, especially on a tough day.

    It's nice to see in print that we do have to decide each day what it is we can and cannot do, and that is ok and right. I still wake up thinking I "should" do what normals do, but knowing I can't, therefore I'm a failure and "not good enough" before I get out of bed.

    Thanks again for sharing your letter!

  9. bodynsoul

    bodynsoul New Member

    for putting into words what we all feel. I had tears in my eyes reading your letter. Even the most supportive and empathetic people have trouble understanding what we go through. I suppose I would have trouble understanding if I were "normal" and had a friend or relative with FM/CFS.

  10. love12

    love12 New Member

    Thank you SOOOO much Tammie!!! i had tears reading your letter....

    For MONTHS now I have been putting off telling friends because i could not find a way to tell them and have them understand...i tried to tell them a few times..but it never came out right..and it was quickly blown off...your letter was A M A Z I N G ! I am going to follow your letter and write one to my friends....

    again, THANK YOU SO made a very hard thing to do a little easier for some of us to do...

  11. Realette

    Realette Member

    The letter is heartfelt and beautiful! I will give some tough advice, pls don't take it the wrong way. Most people won't read that much. If you can provide a shorter edited version, it could be more effective for many. If someone wants an indepth look, have the longer version ready. Expresses much of my same thoughts!
  12. fatalflaw1960

    fatalflaw1960 Member

    Those who have Fibromyalgia are the only ones who can truly understand it. I am A Licensed Addictions Specialist and I had several other 'Addiction Professionals' over the years try to tell me that folks with Fibro are just looking for an excuse to use Opioids. It almost ALWAYS made them mad when I told them that Opioids are not generally a preferred treatment and only give more than short-term, partial, or temporary relief to a chronic condition. I was diagnosed in mid. 1990's by a Dr. who had ruled out everything else and told me that I had a real battle ahead of me! He was SO right. In 2002, I moved to another state and after seeing 8-10 Dr.'s finally found one who acknowledged it's existence and did not 'assume' I just wanted Opioids. I just want relief and Opioids were not an option in my book. Now, after several years with that Dr., I have relocated and am fighting the same battle again. This time, I am also dealing with a Chronic Back and Orthopedic conditions that I have thus far been taking Opioids for short periods of time in manageable doses. My fear is that once my new Dr. sees my x-rays and MRI's that they will try to ONLY treat those conditions and dismiss Fibromyalgia....
  13. msbsgblue

    msbsgblue Member

    My family would not understand if you wrote 1000 letters. I'm sick and tired of them for being sick and tired of me for how I am.
  14. samantha79

    samantha79 Member

    I have never had anyone be able to truly express what I am going through. It brought tears to my eyes...thank you.
  15. GvMeStrgth

    GvMeStrgth Member


    This is great. Thank you Tammie.

    This says what I could never get across to others. I will make a copy since I feel I may need it for social services I use in my area. I've had Fibro for about 20 years and it hasn't gotten any easier as far as people's ignorance, especially where I now live. Mo I agree with you, there are some who are compassionate then those with their personal agenda who will not entertain the thought there could be something wrong. They've made up their minds a lot of times either before meeting you or before you speak and nothing you say won't change their mind. Only if the syndrome befalls them will they believe.

    Anyway, thanks again.
  16. thekamfam

    thekamfam Member

    I am late to this forum. Just signing up now, after 11 years with FM/CFS. I have lost my job, my marriage, my home and my friends to this illness. I also cried reading this letter because I have always wished to find a way to explain what this illness is like to the few "normals" left in my life. Thank you for finding a way to put so much of it into words.
  17. RadioFM

    RadioFM Active Member

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    Last edited: Feb 24, 2015
  18. Alyssa-Admin

    Alyssa-Admin Active Member

    I have come to the conclusion that nobody will ever 'understand' me and what I am experiencing...and neither will they 'understand' you. People of course will have knowledge of your experiences...but as they aren't you, they still will never understand. The moment I realised that I don't have to prove myself to anyone, nor will anyone ever 'understand' what I am going got a lot easier. I also certainly learned who my friends were and that they stuck by me no matter what! :) A.x
    Tracey-Lee likes this.
  19. Sundayrain

    Sundayrain Member

    Tammies letter was written some time ago. I wonder if she is feeling better, although this is a life-time challenge.
    I found most of that letter related to me. I've had this fibro thing since 1995, a very long time indeed.

    It is not at all easy to relate what is going on to family nor friends. This is hard to explain in all cases.

    I find it strange myself that different areas can hurt on different days. How you feel one day is not lined up to promote how you will feel the next. Good gracious if the barometer reading is calling for a storm coming in. I feel that!

    What about bright lights, loud speaker sounds, and fragrances. I once went to bed for three days for being by the perfume " Poison". It was before I knew I had FM. I avoid perfume sales areas and hate it if they are standing there ready to spray me. Yikes! Bright lights overhead bother my eyes. Speakers in the house can't be turned on. I do ok in a theater.

    Cold and Hot. Yes.....either is bothersome. Too much cold makes my bones hurt. Too much heat makes me sweat.
    I moved because of the cold. I would rather be warm for sure.

    It is hard to make plans. I still like to dance....but its not like before. I ache....and I will suffer for it. Sometimes it is hard to walk across the less around the block.

    I have had pneumonia a few times and I get no fever. When I have that, and the FM, it is hard to act myself. I am tired and sleepy. Family doesn't understand that between the two...I have to sleep.

    Mostly it is a tough road to travel. Try being you old self during a holiday that is festive and full of activity. I have worked hard to do that. Perhaps to suffer after the fact. Will people ever understand when you put yourself to bed over the aches and pains that cry for some relief?

    I'll be taking a long trip in a few months and I am sure my body will be full of Salonpas. I will look like a patchwork quilt. But, they do help during long trips.

    I am wishing all of us luck with our situation. Hoping soon more people will understand. Here's to smiles and strength. For stamina and progress along the way. A wish for better days. For us all.

  20. Sundayrain

    Sundayrain Member

    IN the twenty years I have had FM I have never, ever, taken a Opioids. No drugs that would become a habit. I insist not to. Not an option for me either.