My life....happy from the heart no more (Venting)

Discussion in 'Chit Chat' started by IowaMorningGlory, Dec 3, 2006.

  1. IowaMorningGlory

    IowaMorningGlory New Member

    I usually am good about stress. Right now though money wise all is in my husbands hands and I had been the main breadwinner. I am stressed because we are 4 months behind on mortgage payment, and I keep waiting for that knock on the door! As far a Christmas for the kids well it is going to be very disappointing from last year. I am not sure there will be anything this year! We have a tree, but had to throw all our ornaments and lights away because they were stored in a basement that molded everything! So probably not even a tree this year.

    And here I sit barely able to do some daily chores and behind on housework. The pain, fatigue and fibro fog are doing my mind in. Not depressed, just disappointed. How do you get teenagers to understand! My oldest does, but he takes it all on his shoulders at times and at 16 I don't want him to do that either. Honestly, I don't know what I would do without him!

    My husband listens, nods his head, agrees with anything I say and then changes the subject. I don't know, I guess maybe I am expecting a little more than a nod. I sleep on the couch, he sleeps in the bed. I don't know the answer. I know he is doing the best he can, I just feel alone so much of the time.

    My husband is going to go get building supplies tomorrow for a business he is remodeling and has been for several months and I fell like was and is a waste of time at this point. But he did take over the business he was managing, so that may help a little financially.

    Tomorrow is my husbands day off and I can't even go with him because I can't take the drive and have driving of my own this week to take son to get his glasses and others for exams. Need to save my energy for that.

    I sat and thought today, about laughter. I laugh, mostly with the kids. But happy feel good about my life laughter...I can't remember when I felt truly happy with the way life was and had laughter that came from the heart.

    I guess that about sums it up! I needed to vent, not so sure I feel better, but I know there are others that understand, so at least I don't feel alone.

    Take care and Kitten Hugs,
    Blessed Be,
  2. victoria

    victoria New Member

    Andusually have a better economical sense as adults as a result, imho.

    As far as the tree, lights also can be had at dollar stores...

    As for cheap ornaments, we have in the past (due to my lack of energy lol!) just punched holes in christmas cards we receive and hang them on the tree with ribbons instead of "real' ornaments. We added snowflakes that we cut ourselves, the kids had a ball doing it, and it looked great when all done when finished with a bit of tinsel, altho not necessary.

    And then make a few handmade gifts for each other... there is a wealth of suggestions on the internet... or perhaps donate what would've been spent to a worth charity, can help them realize how much they really do already have.

    Hope ths helps! Christmas to me is what you make of it... I've had very poor Christmas's and very rich ones... makes no difference they're all fun... and actually found the 'poor' ones were in some ways actually less stressful because I spent more quality time with the kids doing things.

    all thebest,

  3. hugs4evry1

    hugs4evry1 New Member

    I'm so sorry you're going through such a difficult time right now.

    Please check out my post on gov't web sites that offer help in difficult time such as these. You can answer a questionaire and find agencies that can give you help.


    Nancy B
  4. IowaMorningGlory

    IowaMorningGlory New Member

    Nancy, Victoria, Nancy,& donnaeil thank you from the bottom of my heart for all your wonderful suggestions and caring thoughts. They mean a lot right now.

    I am applying for fuel assistance and we already get food stamps and medical and some assistance. Our foster son we have we do not get reimbursed for yet because we haven't taken the class, he is a special case and we have had him since august. We love him dearly, and wouldn't have it any other way. His parents neither one can take care of him and he wants to be here.

    I may have about 15.00 left out of my check this month to go to dollar store to get a few ornaments. We do have a Goodwill close, but no Salvation Army in our area.

    That was the hard part about losing our ornaments many of them were ones me and the kids had made over the years. We loved decorating with them. There were even ones my husband made. That was hard throwing them away.

    The simple christmas times are sometimes the best ones. And my kids do understand and are very good about it. I don't know what I would do without them.

    One day at a time, one day at a time! That's all we can do. And I do so appreciate the support and wish you all a Merry Christmas from my family to yours!

    Take care & Kitten Hugs,
    Blessed Be,
  5. rockgor

    rockgor Well-Known Member

    all works out for you, Laurie.

    Do you have the energy to play card or board games or charades or password w/ the kids? Can you pop corn and watch a video, home movies, etc. My parents never spent any time w/ us kids when I was young.

    Have you ever read "The Day they Gave Babies Away"? It's a true story, not too long. Was made into a movie some decades ago. That would be good to read aloud. You can take turns reading.

    Do the kids know how to play that old game Black Magic? Have they ever played super Tic-tac-toe? You have to get 5 in a row. You can use graph paper or just draw a grid on a sheet of paper (you use the entire sheet) and photocopy it.

    If people are willing to cooperate you can have a lot of fun. (Of course sometimes teens aren't in the mood.)

    Ever make candy? Fudge is easy to make w/ modern recipes. When I was a kid you had to beat it for about 20 minutes. You can have an old fashioned taffy pull. W/ some food coloring you make all kinds of crazy colors.

    Good luck.

    [This Message was Edited on 12/04/2006]
  6. larryh

    larryh New Member

    I don't really know what to say. If your computer was broke I would have all the right words, but when it comes to people I get lost for words. I do understand what it is like to be hurting and in a fog and not even sure what is going on in the world around you.

    I am sure your husband is having a rough time also. I know my wife does. Sometimes I think it is worse for her than for me because she is carrying all of the load now. That makes it hard to talk about things, especially with the role reversal. Sue Ann and I are still working on communicating better. At least on the days when I can communicate. I have to make lists of things to talk about or I totally forget them no matter how important they are. That means I keep a stack of note cards on top of my computer so I can always find them.

    You should actively go after a medical diagnoses so you can apply for disability. It isn't a lot, but it does help and if I wasn't getting it we would not make it financially.

    I wish I could be more help, but you are in my thoughts and prayers. US geeks have to stick together.


  7. ksp56

    ksp56 Member

    Many gentle hugs to you. You are one of the kindest souls, I've met, in my 50 years. I pray for you and your family, daily.

    Like other's mentioned. Make ornaments. Use macarroni (sp), spray paint them. Make wreaths out of paper plates. My husband and I used cookie cutters, as decorations the first Christmas togehter.

    Hopefully, you will soon obtain your energy assistance, which could loosen up money. Do any of the social service agencies, help children with a gift(s)? Is there a Christmas Bureau or church you could ask for help?

    I know you are doing everything you can, and more. Your feeling of lonliness is very painful and distressing. Especially, when you are already distressed about other aspects of your life.

    Remember, you are loved and cared for by many here. While it isn't the same, know that there others who are thinking and praying for you, and yours every single day.

    I pray for the warmth of happiness and laughter for your heart, this holiday season. Every other moment in your life too...

    Many gentle hugs,


  8. Marta608

    Marta608 Member

    That's what you're missing, joy.

    Laurie, I'm so sorry to hear of your pain. I know from your posts that you're normally an upbeat person so I know you must be very discouraged. To tell you that I get that way too isn't really a lot of help.

    It sounds as if your husband is discouraged too, and heaven knows, you have a houseful! I'll bet that if you explain to the kids that it's going to be a light Christmas this year, they'll understand but I know you don't want to have to tell them that.

    The hardest part of life is the stretch between what we want life to be and reality. If you can continue being patient and thankful for what you do have, I think you'll land on your feet. I wish I could help.


  9. IowaMorningGlory

    IowaMorningGlory New Member

    You are all my friends. I try to see you everyday...which is more than I do with others face to face! Really, that is wonderful because I know you are always there, and many of my old friends are not!

    Thank you for the great suggestions for board games and such. My kids and I (and my husband when hes not working) play battleship and Sorry revenge and Scene It. Now Scene It my kids don't like to play with my husband all the time...they say he cheats...he knows all the old sitcoms and they don't. Really, it is funny to hear them go around!

    You are geeks do have to stick together. I may need help, still haven't had time to get the trojan out of my kids computer. Oh! I do have the official FM diagnosis, and wonderful doctor documentation, just haven't got started on the paperwork, I do need to get crackin on that I know.

    I know also I need to have more patience with my husband. He trys in his own way. And I know he does try..somedays I guess I feel a little selfish because I do feel alone in a house full of strangers. I have come to realize I do need to talk with them more. As we have all learned and my kids have so not so politely told me, "I can't expect them to understand what they cannot see if I don't explain it to them."

    I finally got over and applied for Fuel Assistance and got it. So they can't shut off my electricity and have fuel for a month we didn't have before. Also got my incapacity report to Promise Jobs worker so they know my doctor says I cannot work.

    We were lucky we do have a great community around us. Social Services referred us to a church at Thanksgiving and we were given all the fixins for a great thanksgiving!
    They used to have a christmas shop in our old county, but this one doesn't. We even used to get our real xmas tree that way.

    I wish I were upbeat a lot more often. I do work hard at it because I have come to realize over the years a valuable lesson with my kids. And jeez I only had 4 years psychology and had to learn this one on my own! I noticed that when I am in a worse mood my kids act up more, and when I am in a good mood my kids behave better! We do this I think when we are around anyone, people pick up on each others moods. Well not just people...I think my critters have a great sense too!

    I am sorry I haven't got back to everyone sooner. I have been trying to get some things together the last couple days. (Well that and my internet wasn't on today)

    You are all so very sweet and considerate and your words helped more than you will ever know. Sometimes we all seem to get in a bad place, and it is so very wonderful that we are always there for each other.

    Thank you all from the bottom of my heart. If I can ever return the favor..well you don't even have to ask!

    Take care & kitten Hugs,
    Blessed Be,