My life is a nightmare, everything is spiraling out of control

Discussion in 'Fibromyalgia Main Forum' started by LeightonLAM, Apr 18, 2007.

  1. LeightonLAM

    LeightonLAM New Member

    Things were going okay before. we had some ups and downs, but that was to be expected. I am a stay at home mother to a 4 year old, a 2 year old, and a 1 year old. my husband is in the military.

    I am in a wheelchair. I am also on Percocet for pain. i have been taking the percocet for almost 2 solid years so i no longer have many side effects. It still manages my pain fairly well.

    I made "friends" with a neighbor when we got to this base a couple of months ago. She is a military wife who has a lot of similar medical problems and pain problems.

    Yesterday I caught her taking pills out of my percocet bottle. i didnt confront her because i didnt know what to say or do. my husband was due home for lunch at anytime. So i waited and when he came home i pulled him aside and asked him to make an excuse for my "friend" to leave.

    When she was gone i told my husband what happened and we counted my pills. we discovered that i was missing around 110 pills total from 2 pill bottles.

    We talked to the military member at his work and told him what i witnessed. he told us that his wife is "coming down" off her meds and that "slip ups" are expected. he suggested that i lock up my medications when she comes and visits at our house. And he said he would check her purse too.

    Several hours later he came to our home and wanted to talk to my husband privately. He said that he checked his wifes purse and asked her if she took my pills. she denied it and he believed her. he suggested that my husband lock my medications up so i cant take them without him knowing.

    I have never had a drug problem in my life. i have never even tried any street drugs or smoked at all ever.

    After he left, my husband and i talked and decided that he would call and speak to my "friend" asking her to return the pills and we would never speak of it again. She denied taking my pills again, and again suggested that my husband lock up my meds so i cant access them on my own.

    Her husband called a few minutes later wondering what was said in the last phone call. i told him that we had tried to be patient and we couldnt allow this to continue. we let him know that we needed to call the military police and report the theft.

    The military police came to our house, asked a lot of questions, and called for the local police department to come too.

    Then the military police arrested my husband for failure to control dependents! Yes you read that right. because she was in our house, and i let her in, it was his responsibility to keep me under control. since i let a thief into the home, he was at fault for letting me.

    the local police department went to the neighbors house and briefly questioned my "friend" then told the military police that he did not see the need to become involved and left. he never even came to my home at all!

    In the end, no pills were found, my "friend" was not charged with anything, and her husband was not charged with failure to control dependents.

    Today my husband was informed by his supervisors that i am a risk to our children, and that he MUST lock up my meds to make sure i do not hide them, or abuse them. They also said that i am not allowed to take care of our children anymore when my husband is not present. which means that we have to start paying for daycare for our 3 young children on a single paycheck. the cost of daycare is almost as much as my husband makes.



    OOPS I FORGOT A FEW IMPORTANT DETAILS!!!!!

    first i forgot to mention that when we had the local police come out a second time they told us that stealing narcotics in this state is a misdemeanor, but giving someone even a single pill is a felony federal offence. she would have to steal more than $500 in pills to even get arrested.

    second i also forgot to add that this "friend" will never be allowed at our house again.

    and third
    my husband is being forced to take all the fall for this and it is possible that he could be kicked out of the military with less than an honorable discharge. we would have no medical coverage and my meds cost us thousands everymonth

    also with military stuff usually a lawyer is pointless. the military has its own laws and judicial system. there is nothing i can do.
    [This Message was Edited on 04/18/2007]
  2. elliespad

    elliespad Member

    Me thinks you need a lawyer, sooner than later.
  3. dridlen1959

    dridlen1959 New Member

    I cannot imagine what you are going through. How awful of your neighbor and how hard on you.

    I don't even know what to tell you except sometimes there is not much we can do about sucky, unfair situations.
    I certainly wouldn't let that neighbor in again.
    Hang in there hon, I am so sorry you are having to deal with this. What a rotten neighbor.

    dridlen
  4. DeborahLynn

    DeborahLynn Member

    What an unbelievably difficult trial you are going through right now!

    I prayed for you as soon as I got done reading your post. Tomorrow I am going to put you on my church family's calling post prayer list.

    I prayed that the Lord will fill you, your husband, and your children with His peace in the midst of your storm.

    I prayed that He would cover everyone who is involved with your situation with the merits of Jesus' shed blood, so that they would be sensitive to the promptings of the Holy Spirit, and do the right thing.

    I prayed that the whole thing would be cleared up and the truth would be known to everyone, and that God would over-rule the evil and make the truth shine.

    God says, "Vengence is Mine, I will repay." I have been through so much in my life, and I know God is faithful. Please put your trust in Him!

    Please update us on everything as you get a chance.

    (((((((((Lots of hugs and prayers,))))))))

    Debbie
  5. TerryS

    TerryS Member

    Wow! It's been a long time for me (almost 30 years), but I used to be in the Army, as was my first husband (that's where we met).

    The military has it's own culture and rules. I remember that the serviceman is held accountable for anything his dependants do (or don't do...even as simple as missing a doctor's appointment).

    I am assuming his CO is the one that came down on him and declared these things about the daycare, etc.

    I'm sure there is SOMEONE on base who can help you. I know there are counselor's available, ministers, etc. My best suggestion is to call around on base until you can find someone who can be an advocate for you. If there have never been any other issues, I'm sure you can get this worked out (although, it will take a little time). And, what about JAG???

    Don't panic, don't give up, don't delay...the more I think about it, a minister from the base may be the first door to knock on.

    Good luck to you...I'll remember you in my prayers.

    TerryS
  6. nightngale

    nightngale New Member

    Please that is barbaric. There must be someone to go to. YOur doctor could perhaps attest to the fact that you never abuse meds. Life is so unfair. I am so sorry you poor poor dear. Let us know what happens.

    Hugs, Nightngale
  7. LeightonLAM

    LeightonLAM New Member

    the idea about the doctor was a great one but unfortunately it wont help me. we have been stationed at 3 different bases all around the world in 3 years. my doctor has changed more often than we change the oil in our car. my current doctor has been my pcm for less than 2 months. before that i had several doctors in germany, etc. thanks very much though. i appreciate the thought.
  8. Fmandy

    Fmandy New Member

    This is a nightmare or worse. I truly believe that this woman will receive her just reward. What goes around comes around. Bad karma for her.

    If I were you, I would ask to see the/a chaplain. They are officers, as you know, and maybe could meet with you and your husband. They have a lot of pull sometimes.

    I hope and pray that you can find justice somehow, someway.

    Andy
  9. blkkat

    blkkat New Member

    yes the good ol days when we (my husband) was in the navy. I'm so sorry ! yes i agree please go to the minister on the base first.

    don't let them see you upset it only makes their minds know that they did the right thing they have ALL the power.

    long story short when the DRS at the navy hospital said I'd lose our daughter , and my husband was out at sea, we asked to have him come home, ya right, NO THEY SAID only if she dies or first on the list that would be allowed is if my husbands dad was very ill cause mens DADS come first you know.

    well after fighting w/them and getting the RED CROSS into it ,he came home for a big 5 days ,oh they flew him in to Calif airport and said oh by the way your on your own get home by yourself, we live in wash st. so had to have money wired . he slepted in the airport for 2 of those 5 they gave him. but the good news is we have a 14 year old daughter- who's a turd but we love her of course. not sure why i told you all that , i think just to let you know its not your fault the military is just weird like that. but i do know one thing try and not make waves because they can do anything to you and your husband, they own him!

    scary but true. yes i too will be praying for you daily, our LORD WILL NOT FORSAKE YOU!!! GIVE THIS OVER TO OUR LORD JESUS!! GOD BLESS YOUR FAMILY !! PRAY FOR ALL THE ONES WHO ARE DEALING WITH YOU <GOD WILL DO THE REST> YOU ARE A GREAT MOTHER DON"T EVER FORGET THAT.

    TELL YOUR HUSBAND NOT TO SHOW OR ACT OUT ANY ANGER. AND WHEN YOUR W/YOUR HUBAND AND YOU HAVE THE KIDS BE SEEN AS MUCH AS POSSIBLE MORE THAN REG WHERE THE MPS, HIGHER UPS ECT. SEE YOU BEING A CALM LOVING SAFE MOTHER THAT OU ARE. GOD BLESS--BLKKAT PLEASE KEEP US UPDATED< WE CARE!!!
  10. LeightonLAM

    LeightonLAM New Member

    I cant believe how many things have happened in the last couple of days. i am sitting here in tears now because my husband and i just had yet another fight about my pills being stolen. now he has been ordered by his supervisors to lock up my pills. everyone is convinced that i must have taken the pills and either sold them, took them, or hid them.

    I DID NOT DO ANY OF THOSE!!!!! my pills were stolen. that is the 100% honest truth. now i feel like a criminal. my father in law is supposed to take our kids when my husband goes to iraq, and he just told my husband that he wont get involved now, including taking our children for the next few weeks while we sort this out. he told my husband that he needs to listen to his supervisors and believe that this is something that i did and caused.

    i feel so hurt right now. my whole world is falling apart and i am being set up with all of this. i have no history of drug use, i have never even tried street drugs ever. i have no criminal history. nothing. i am a stay at home mom to 3 beautiful children and i might lose them because of something that didnt even happen.

    please help me, i need someone to talk to, i am at the end of my rope
  11. obrnlc

    obrnlc New Member

    honey i am so sorry for what you are going thru, i have been following your posts and know you are a good mom, and have been getting the shaft by the military.

    where are you stationed at?
    Do you have someone in your family or from church or somewhere to move in when husband goes to iraq?

    why would they even make him go when your personal lives are where they are at and he needs to be there for his children, since they won't believe you can care for the kids!where are your family members, can they help?
    i could move you and the 3 babies in with me, this situation sucks so bad! What options are you being given?

    please keep posting and rely on us for support, we are here for you and maybe you can find one of the "cure" protocols on here that might help you get off so many meds, since that seems to be the problem, not that it is anyone's business when you are handling your family OK.

    Take care and keep in touch--L
  12. LeightonLAM

    LeightonLAM New Member

    my father in law was the family member that we could supposedly depend on in this type of situation.

    the rest of our family lives pretty far away and we just moved to little rock air force base in arkansas. we have only been here 2 months. we dont have anyone locally who can vouch for us because we dont know anyone else. the only local friend i had made was the one who stole my meds.

    i am so scared and so depressed right now. my husband has always been the best husband ever, but even he freaked out on me about this at lunch today. i have never seen him so angry. he told me that it is my fault that he is in trouble with the military. i dont think he even wants me around anymore. it hurts so much


    also, the only meds that i take which are narcotics is my percocet. that is it.[This Message was Edited on 04/19/2007]
  13. LeightonLAM

    LeightonLAM New Member

    we have considered weaning me off the percocet. the problem is that most meds give me horrible side effects. if it can cause drowsiness it will, stomach upset, etc.
    i have already begun weaning myself off for right now because i dont have enough pills.

    the good news is that the higher ranking supervisors are starting to notice that this isnt being treated the way that it should and it looks like this might start to come together the right way.

    i have finally stopped crying for now, and the awful sick feeling in my stomach is letting up. it is so hard to know the truth and have no one believe you.
  14. netnut

    netnut New Member

    I will be honest...this sounds really odd but maybe its something with the air force. My son was an MP with another branch and recently got out but if you would like I could run this scenario by him and ask him if he has any ideas for you. I am sure he has seen situations where things like this happened before.
  15. GigglePoet

    GigglePoet New Member

    Oh leigh..I am so so sorry you are going through this. This is just a horrible nighmare for you, worse than any plot of any movie. How can this kind of stuff happen? I hope you can get some help and that your name will be justified in the end. Keep your chin up. I pray this storm will pass from you quickly.

    God Bless
    ~ Dee
  16. DeborahLynn

    DeborahLynn Member

    I called our pastor today and asked to have your situation put on our church's calling-post phone message system. That prayer request will go to every church member who is signed up for that feature. No names were given and I didn't tell him where I heard about your story. It was a totally anonymous prayer request.

    I am rejoicing over your last update! I am continuing to pray the prayer I wrote to you yesterday, and adding more as I think of things. I pray that miracles will continue happen to turn your situation around. Like the lyrics of a Twila Perus song says, "God sees you, He knows you, He loves you! Jesus loves you!"

    I was reading in 1 Samuel just today about a time when Israel was about to be attacked by the dreaded Philistine army. The people of Israel were frightened, begged Samuel (God's prophet) to pray to God for them. They re-consecrated their hearts to God. Samuel prayed for Israel, and God delivered them in a most unexpected way -- He caused a loud noise that shook the ground, and sounded like many chariots coming towards the Philistine army. The Philistine army got so terrrified that they started killing each other. They destroyed themselves!

    I say all this to tell you, God has a thousand ways to help us of which we know none, the Bible says. He is so creative at working miracles in the most unexpected ways! We, as humans, think God should answer our prayers in ways we would like, but God is God and He knows the very best way to deliver us; to work in our behalf. Please put your trust in Him! He loves you, and wants to help you!

    Thank you for keeping us posted; please continue to update us and tell us things we can pray for!

    Debbie
  17. annaleeb

    annaleeb New Member

    I cannot begin to tell you how sorry I am for all you are going through, I am always around to talk to, and will keep you in my prayers, My heart goes out to you.
  18. blkkat

    blkkat New Member

    Your last post sounds like things are starting to turn around for you! GOD IS GOOD!! just my input , i wouldn't cause a stir your husbands commanding officer I'm sure wants this all to go away also.

    because you've heard the old saying poo rolls down hill, this makes your husbands higher ups look foolish also , I'm sure this will get cleared up before your husband goes off. i have faith, plus i kinda know how this kinda politics works. i know you could just kick your husband for not believing you but hes under so much pressure to make this all just go away. don't go to the press it will only make things way worse and your husband for the sake of not getting your children taken, I'm afraid he'd be first to choose them over you. and it shouldn't have to come to that. just stay calm, put a fake if need be smile on, and do anything they want you to do. that's just my 2 cents.

    I'm praying for you like a lot of us here are. your not alone. we are here as much as we can be. lets all of us pray for her husband, what hell he must be going through also.

    your just in a valley right now, you must really love our LORD JESUS , you'll come out stronger i know- please read if you like,((TRUST))-- Proverbs 3;5-6 ,Psalm 37;3-9 ,Isaiah 41;10 I think it will help. i hope i don't offend . YOUR FRIEND -BLKKAT
  19. lease79

    lease79 New Member

    Really hope that things start looking up for you soon.
    What a dreadful situation to be in :(
  20. jmq

    jmq New Member

    reading all your posts and I am so horrified by the situation you are in. I never knew the military had that much control over things..I guess I am pretty naive. I see that others here have given some very good advice...especially about getting your own advocate or advice outside of the base.

    I can not imagine dealing with FM ...raising young children...and having your husband shipped off to another country...never mind all this other &^*). God Bless all of you. I will continue to pray for you...and keep in touch.

    jmq