My Neighbor Called Me Fat

Discussion in 'Fibromyalgia Main Forum' started by TeaBisqit, Dec 4, 2006.

  1. TeaBisqit

    TeaBisqit Member

    I think I have been through so much with this disease that not much surprises me now. This one topped my day, though. We had asked a neighbor to help us setup a new tv. And we were sitting there talking after it was done. So all of a sudden, he says to me that my stomach is fat and I should get a tummy tuck like members of his family have done. And I'm just looking at him like, how about we take away your health and force you to not be able to do much of anything including leaving the house for most of the year and then see how you do. I didn't say anything, but it's just amazing how healthy people do not understand that when you are sick you can't go to the gym. I can't work out anymore. Most of the time, I can't even walk around the apartment. I spend alot of my time in really bad pain and suffering. And the arthritis in my lower back and hips is getting worse as time goes on. And that's on top of my CFIDS symptoms. But I certainly didn't need someone pointing out to me that I'm now overweight because of the illness. Healthy people are completely insensitive. And he did know I was disabled and I rarely leave the house. I guess he thinks it's a fun disease or something. :(
  2. dragon06

    dragon06 New Member

    I am sorry he upset you like that. His comments were wrong. Sounds like he put one foot in his mouth and then tried to squish the other one in.

    Don't let the comments of an insensitive B------ bring you down, just ignore him!
  3. Catseye

    Catseye Member

    If we never talked to stupid people, none of us would have any friends. Especially with guys, they tend to say stuff that a woman wouldn't dare say. Just chalk it up to him trying to make conversation and failing miserably.

    I'm so skinny now, I look like a crackhead. He probably would have told me to go eat a McMeal.

    [This Message was Edited on 12/05/2006]
  4. CanBrit

    CanBrit Member

    That just leaves me speechless. Sometimes the ignorance of our fellow man/women leaves me so dismayed. Not responding to his comment was certainly the best way to go.

    Put him out of your thoughts....he's not a person you need to be acquainted with. There are many more decent understanding people in the world. Don't let one ignorant remark hurt you.

    All the best,


  5. kbak

    kbak Member

    You are wonderfully controlled. I'm afraid I would have fallen to sarcasm and told him that maybe he would benefit from a frontal labotomy to cure his rude mouth.

    People don't have manners anymore. But after all look at television. So many shows revolve around hideous behavior. Monkey see, monkey do.

    So Sorry,

  6. AllWXRider

    AllWXRider New Member

    Females put on fat per the hormone estrogen and thyroid problems. If your regular doc didn't flag your thyroid as being amiss, then read what Dr. Wong says about estrogen:

    Try to ignor rude people...God will avenge you. No one is completely healthy or free of problems. Your neighbor has lost his sense of self control.
  7. lil_angel1198

    lil_angel1198 New Member

    hopefully there won't be a next time...but if it ever happens again, look at him astonished and say in a sarcastic tone:

    "WHAT!?! you're kidding right? I mean, I look in the mirror every day, and I never noticed! Thanks so much for pointing it out to me! I would have never known!!"

    That usually embarrasses the person to the point that they won't ever say that to or about someone again.
  8. marsupialmama

    marsupialmama New Member

    argh, that just makes me want to spit!!

    I have a belly too, I HATE it and I HATE the questions about when the baby is due. I look the insensitive [insert rude word here] right in the eye and say "Oh, I'm not pregnant, I'm FAT!" Then I watch 'em shrivel up. Heh. The really persistent ones who follow up with "Oh I didn't mean anything" cr@p get lectured and harangued and they never bother me again. Heh.

    In the meantime I am trying to eat more healthy and exercise but it ain't easy with PAIN!!

    People who make comments about other people's weight or appearance should be taken out and shot at dawn. If you're not prepared to help or be supportive, or pay for the surgery, go away!

    I am sick of these kinds of people. Grr.
  9. sascha

    sascha Member

    what the neighbor said was inexcusably rude. i used to be so physically active, but now just can't do much of anything. the thing is, this is an enormous source of grief and frustration for me. eating is one of the things i can do pretty normally if i stay away from things that trigger CFIDS symptoms (chocolate (talk about grief), sugar, caffeine including decaff coffee, wheat, dairy). but becaurse of my low levels of activity of course i should be eating much much less, and i generally am not.

    when i try to exercise, and i try many different things, ilose all functioning for a while,a nd thus lose a bunch of time that i have to be immobile and horizontal (well, in bed).

    it's a harsh vicious cycle and i haven't found a way out yet. i keep trying and hoping to find a way to M-O-V-E more, and retain some hope that i'l eventually figure it out.

    good luck to you- ignore the imbeciles- carry on! Sascha
  10. krchamp

    krchamp New Member

    Just after I was finally diagnosed, I had an appointment with my Gynocologist. I hadn't seen him in a year (I was going in for my annual torture) anyway, I had put on a lot of weight because the pain a fatigue had just wiped me out. Well, I told the nurse what was going on and she was very nice and empathetic and told me about her sister who also had FMS. He walks in and the first thing out of his mouth, remember this is a doctor, "How much weight have you gained, now you know that gaining a tremendous (and he emphasized it)amount of weight is NOT good for you. How much has you gained anyway. Looks like to me about and extra 60 lbs you're caring around."

    I was devastated. I have always had body image issues anyway and that sure didn't help any. I didn't say anything and I held in the tears. Well he did the exam and I got dressed. The nurse apologized and told me to go on in his office after I was finished dressing.

    As I am walking into his office. He is talking into his recorder and states, "Patient is obese, and has gained an extra 70lbs. Will explain to patient importance of exercise and eating properly."

    By this time I was livid. I went into his office and let him finish his dictating. I told him he was welcome to record what I was about to say, if he wished. I pointed out to him in not so nice of terms everything that I had been through and the reason that I had been so small when I had come in everytime before was because I was starving myself. I told him I would trade a day with him in a heart beat. He had no idea what it felt like to get up in pain and go to bed in pain. The if pain wasn't bad enough, the fatigue was so overwhelming that it exhausted me to even raise a finger.

    Needless to say, I didn't go back. He apologized but I could see that he thought I was full of crap. I also wrote him a letter after I went home and calmed down.

    The nerve of some people. They have no clue what we go through and I am tired of it. Luckily, I have a wonderful doctor now. She is the best and doesn't treat me like I am crazy. I told her about this jerk and she couldn't believe it. She is overweight herself. She said even if I didnt have FMS or CFS, he shouldn't have said a word.

    Sorry so long...your post just hit a nerve with me...some people are just idiots!

    [This Message was Edited on 12/05/2006]
  11. Cindyvr

    Cindyvr New Member

    I think you should get a beautiful Christmas Card then print out some info on all of your problems and put it onhis door step..He doesnt have knowledge so give it to him. Get him a book and wrap it as a present.. Maybe hit him over the head with it as you are giving it to
  12. TeaBisqit

    TeaBisqit Member

    It's amazing how much healthy people don't understand. And the rudeness is unbelievable :(
  13. Chiligal

    Chiligal New Member

    Maybe he needs to tuck his head....oops guess its already there. Ignore him.
  14. cozykitten

    cozykitten New Member

    I'm afraid if that doctor had said to me 'you know it's not healthy to gain a large amount of weight' in his sarcastic tone, I'd have said "No $H!T, Sherlock!"
    Oh that just makes me bristle! I have gained so much weight. I was always skinny my entire life, even to having a waistline when I was pregnant, and flat stomach afterward.
    Now I have no waistline, and my fat stomach starts just under my boobs and just rounds out like my hubby's fat stomach. I can't find clothes that are comfortable and I just feel so tired and disgusted about my size. I don't dare wear dresses anymore, since my legs are not only fat, but swell to an abnormal size. I just hate what these diseases have done to my once pretty body. Waaaaaa...

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