My neighbor's comments - unbelievable

Discussion in 'Fibromyalgia Main Forum' started by Applyn59, Jul 15, 2003.

  1. Applyn59

    Applyn59 New Member


    Just a short message to vent before my BP goes
    through the roof!!!

    I have a neighbor who is very kind to me and my mother and who lets us use her hotub whenever we want.
    She has a good heart but she also thinks she knows

    She really upset me today because we were discussing my health and my mother's extreme
    anxiety, etc.

    The endo today told me that I am extremely anxious
    and need to get help for it. he is concerned about
    my BP, etc.

    I told my neighbor that anxiety is a symptom of FMS
    and also polycystic ovarian (and lyme, which I will
    be tested for next week).

    My neighbor told me that I can't blame everything
    on FMS. I know that. The next part is what irritates
    me to death:

    I have been crying in the hot tub lately because
    I am overwhelmed by my health problems as well
    as my mother's health problems. Most times she
    ignores the crying. One time it was right before
    my mother was going to have ovarian surgery for
    highly suspected ovarian cancer.Luckily it wasn't

    I hyperventilate when I cry and that is the only time.
    My neighbor insists that these are panic attacks and further more, she said "You have no reason to
    cry or be anxious, etc"

    QUick rundown:
    I am 41, single, disabled since 27
    Chronic pain, chronic exhaustion, sleep many
    days away, can't sleep until 4 or 10 a.m., etc.
    Cannot drive due to severe back problems and cannot feel the pedal of the car due to numbness in feet.
    Thelist goes on and on.

    My mother was treated for breast cancer in 2001,
    had a blood clot, chemo, two surgeries, radiation,
    lung damage and is now so anxious I have been
    calling about five or six psych places.

    I am rundown, worried sick about my mother, my
    eye floaters-new blurriness, lyme disease, etc.
    She tells me that I have no reason to cry and also
    that I should get in the car and drive myself.
    I just fell two weeks ago and my neck and back
    are really bothering me.

    I ask you"
    Do I not have plenty reasons to cry and be anxious!
    OMG!!!!!!! I can't believe I didn''t tell her off.
    I have kept most of my latest problems a secret
    from my mother because she is extremely
    anxious and I don't want to further upset her.
    I need to see eye dr. without my mother knowing.
    I need to see chiro. My neighbor knows all of this!!!!!!!
    She washed my hair yesterday for me but only when
    she found out my mother was going to try and help
    me and was a bit anxious about it.

    That's my vent. Boy, did I need that!!!
  2. sofy

    sofy New Member

    I am glad you vented here and did not tell her off. The woman said something you did not like or think was fair but her kindness and generosity to you and your mother has been so large that surely she is worthy of ignoring this faulty event.

    Your need to vent is better served here than on this generous lady. Forgive her generous spirit this one flaw and think of her in the wonderful glowing term you have written about her before. You will be the winner for this generosity of your own spirit. Take care
  3. Mikie

    Mikie Moderator

    Yes, anxiety and panic attacks are symptoms of our illnesses and they need to be treated. Therapy and drugs for anxiety will do wonders for this. It's more stressful trying to deal with this without help. There are some things we can control with our illnesses. Like the Serenity Prayer says, we need the strength to change what we can. We can change our anxiety levels with help. Good luck.

    Love, Mikie
  4. Kim

    Kim New Member

    And I know that was hard to do. My prayer for you is that you find relief for your anxiety. I had to get help for my anxiety and depression before my other health problems were brought under control.

  5. suz41

    suz41 New Member


    Venting here probably saved you more grief in the future than blowing up on your neighbor. You sound really overwhelmed and I know from your post you are disabled and can't drive, really worried about mom. However, I think its ok to think about yourself. Have you ever cosidered a counselor for your self not just mom? You have an awful lot on your own plate too. Perhaps a counselor with training in pain issues would be appropriate. If you can't afford it many local mental health agencies have a variety of counselors on staff and they use a sliding scale. Treating the anxiety and depression is as important as the physical. Hope you are feeling better, please take this post with the intention of concern not another person telling you what to do. Take care keep venting as needed

  6. Applyn59

    Applyn59 New Member

    I am currently on xanax and zoloft and trying to get
    different meds to help me. I do want to go to the
    psych as well for myself because I think they
    best know how to use these drugs.

    I have another appt with my GP next week and will discuss it with her. However , I really want to
    go to a pysch. The problem is that my mother
    is extremely extremely anxious. She cannot hear
    anything about anything that is bothering me.
    We live together and are extremely close so it
    is difficult for her not to be aware of what I am doing.

    I was thinking of calling the psych that she
    will be seeing and asking them to put my name
    on the waiting list as well. However, if I were to
    tell this to my mother she would be upset.
    She does not know that I fell two weeks ago and
    have all of these new issues. She is upset that
    I am now going to all of these drs when she is at
    her worst. My uncle is more than happy to take
    me places. My mother took me today to the dr
    and also for hair cut. She is too anxious to sit
    around but she likes to drive and it calms her so
    she drops me off and picks me up.

    I am so inbetween a rock and a hard place.
    She seems a bit calmer today. I meant
    to look it up and see how long Paxil stays in
    your system. She took her last dose on
    Saturday and I am wondering if she could be
    better because of that.

    I am concerned about my eye and need to see
    the eye dr. I want my uncle to take me and I will
    tell my mother that I am going to the chiropractor.
    She wants to take me though!!!!

    I need a vacation from life!
  7. Applyn59

    Applyn59 New Member

    Love that quote!!
    I could swear I replied to it the other day
    but I don't see anything!