My One Year Anniversary from stopping work, so sad..

Discussion in 'Fibromyalgia Main Forum' started by fibrohugslife, Jun 8, 2006.

  1. fibrohugslife

    fibrohugslife New Member

    Hello everyone,

    *First I apologize that this post is a little long but I need to post this and get this out of my system, thank you*.

    This week is the one year anniversary from when I was fired from my job as I was unable to keep up with the tasks. I knew that was it for me in working, as after trying to work at several places and only last for 2-3 months and then my body just crashing due to the pain, and my depression was bad.

    I am one those people that LOVE to work, and I enjoy the socializing with working as well. I love to work hard and put my all in everything that I do. And is just hard to have to give up working.

    I felt useful and needed. Now with not working and living the life I once had with friends, and doing the things I enjoy doing, I now feel useless and not needed.

    You know working you spend more time doing that in your life than anything else, and then it is just abruptly taken away.

    My heart breaks that I cannot handle working. Sometimes I look at job sites and look around and even this week I picked up a flyer about part time jobs at the store I shopping in.

    I rented an old movie called Fame. It is about high school students that are in a school for the performing arts. It got me thinking about my dreams. In the movie, the characters would do ANYTHING to reach their dreams.

    On Oprah yesterday it was a repeat but there was a young man that is disabled and is in a wheelchair, and he and his father run triathalons and his son loves to do the races as it is his dream and he enjoys doing that.

    It got me thinking about my own life, and although I am ill and have these things going on I can still dream and go after these dreams.

    I love school and I cannot wait to graduate, I am needed in my classes through participation as my opinion is needed on a topic. My team group needs me for our projects and to share my mind and heart.

    I dream to be able to volunteer this time next year and to be able to help others.

    I see on this forum I encourage and comfort others and I have always done that in my life. I wish that I could email or mail all of you handmade cards but know that you are in my hearts. Receiving something special in the mail helps encourage you to keep going.

    I am back on anti-depressants now as I see that I cannot do this on my own. With my pain being so high and it has been untreated for a long time, so medications at times do not touch my pain and that is hard to handle and at times I feel like I am going to pass out from it.

    I stretch, exercise ball, walk, do yoga, basically do what I can to stay fit. I eat healthy and I have basically turned in a health nut, and search for fruits and vegetables that the US does not eat but are popular in other countries and are healthy and good for me. I have been learning how to cook and not burn down the house LOL.

    The Lord is teaching me to rely on my family and it is okay to do so. I have an independent spirit. He provides ways out for me to avoid a potential stressful situation to avoid flares. He takes care of me all of the time.

    Sometimes I do not feel like he is there but HE IS THERE!

    Anyway I just wanted to get this off my chest and my mind, and I feel better doing this. If I do not get replies that is okay, my heart feels free and that is the most important.

    Many hugs!

    [This Message was Edited on 06/09/2006]

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