my own place

Discussion in 'Fibromyalgia Main Forum' started by Fairyeyes, Mar 1, 2003.

  1. Fairyeyes

    Fairyeyes New Member

    I'm in my own place ths weekend, and although spouse is being sullen and strange, I do not give a crap.

    I can already feel a sense of peace as I put my stuff in its proper place/s. Haven't felt this way in a looooooooong time.

    for anyone wondering if they are doing the right thing by leaving a spouse, significant other, who is unsupportive, or downright abusive, I must tell you that with all my heart, it is the right thing. amen.

    won't be able to post as often now, but will keep you posted.

    thanks.
  2. Shirl

    Shirl New Member

    Glad to hear you have found some peace. In a short time, you will even feel better. Getting stress out of our lives (when this is possible) is a foot in the right direction to healing.

    Take care, and keep us updated on how you are doing.

    Shalom! Shirl
  3. Kathryn

    Kathryn New Member

    The time immediately before and after you leave an abusive spouse are the most dangerous. If he knows where you now live, do try to have someone else there if he "drops in". Most of these men (and some women)are very possessive and don't want to lose you, even if they no longer want you themselves. They can flip out with no warning whatsoever, and the victim will always lose. If you are able to have a dog, get a big one, preferably one of the working breeds or a large terrier. If there is a no pet clause in your rental agreement, ask your doctor to write a prescription for a service dog to help ease your depression or help with your balance, carry parcels, or whatever reason you can come up with. The ADA has no requirements for any special training beyond basic obedience. They are not considered pets, and can live anywhere you do regardless of a no pets clause.
    Kathryn
  4. debbiem31

    debbiem31 New Member

    I'm so happy to hear that you got out on your own finally. Just be careful still. Especially if he knows where you are. I hope you get all settled in and start reveling in your new found freedom. It's wonderful isn't it? Stay strong and take care....
  5. Mikie

    Mikie Moderator

    Seriously, protect yourself from this guy if you think he is a danger to you. I don't mean to sound so dramatic, but restraining orders are worthless for protection. They are only good for proving after the fact that the victim did everything she legally could against her stalker. I live in a safe neighborhood, but this little Southern backwater town is rife with violence. I have a permit to carry and never leave home without it.

    Now, on the positive side: Good for you. Leaving an abusive situation can be the best thing we do for ourselves. After my ex and I separated, people told me I looked 15 years younger and refreshed. My ex wasn't physically abusive, but he was a game player, a liar, and he was emotionally abusive. I did not fear for my safety.

    The song from "My Fair Lady" about "...All I want is a room somewhere" was my theme song. All I wanted was personal space and peace. I've been alone 17 years now and have never regretted it. I probably could have remarried, but I have found the single life suits me.

    You are in my prayers. Good luck to you.

    Love, Mikie
  6. mapessd

    mapessd New Member

    I to left my hubby ,, He gave me soo much stress i had to and it has been really good for me and my kids, He was menally abusive ,he gambeled almost lost the house i got that all on track and it is now pd. off but i hated not knowing if we would had lights or gas and water the next month So i got on a list for help with finding me a place and in two weeks time i had a place to move ..
    I love it i have so much more room and so much less crap to move around and pick up .. This was the best thing i think i have ever done for me and my kids . They see him more now that we moved .
    Like everyone said if he was abusive please be carfull . Did you have to leave your comp.. at his place i was able to pick one up at a comp. fair for a good price . So now i can be on as much as i want and when i want with outhim making some smart a-- remark
    So take care and enjoy your new place
    Sue

    PS I just wrote my 6th rent check and fell so great about it[This Message was Edited on 03/02/2003]