My poor daughter

Discussion in 'Fibromyalgia Main Forum' started by shari1677, Mar 9, 2009.

  1. shari1677

    shari1677 New Member

    I'm a horrible mom...just horrible. This disease has taken me, hook, line and sinker, and my 14 YO daughter is the one suffering.

    She woke up for school this morning and had no clean uniforms. This has happened before and I'm embarrassed to say that we have gotten them out of the dirty laundry to wear in the past, but today was different.........

    Unfortunately, all of her uniforms were IN THE WASHING MACHINE. We didn't figure this out until 7:45 (she has to be to school at 8). There was no time to put them in the dryer, none.

    So, she is going to have to school late. This isn't the first time this has happened.

    I have sewing to do on some of her favorite clothes. I have dishes from a few days ago. Clothes need washed. She had macaroni and cheese for dinner last night because I didn't have the energy to cook.

    She wants me to take her to the library today. Oh, and I have to work full time on top of it all.

    I'm so afraid she will move in with her father. He's living with a long-term girlfriend and have two incomes, a nice house and it is always clean. The girlfriend is a great cook and treats my daughter very well.

    I hate this..............Thanks for letting me vent guys!
  2. kellyann

    kellyann New Member

    I really do think your daughter is old enough at 14 years old to take some responsiblility for her own self. She is plenty old enough to run a washer and dryer all by herself. She is not helpless.If you are not feeling well why can't she get herself ready for school? She is not an infant. Is her arm broken, she can't help with dishes either?
    It sounds like you try to do too much on top of not feeling well. I sure you do as much as you can and then some. Make that girl of yours get up and help you before you wear yourself out!

    I know how kids are! I have 7 of them......I must be crazy! 5girls-2boys,haha!

    Your friend,
  3. robin1667

    robin1667 New Member

    First you are not a horrible mom! So get that OUT of your head!
    I agree with Kellyann. She's 14 she can be responsible for herself,her clothes,even cooking,and getting up for school. She needs to do these for herself anyway.
    Give yourself a break and make her responsible for these things.
    And even though things may look great at her dad's, she may not like it there all the time. You know what they say about the grass is greener on the other side. But there is nothing like a mother's love.
  4. TigerLilea

    TigerLilea Active Member

    Even if you were healthy and able to do so, at fourteen, your daughter should be doing her own laundry. Same goes for mending her favourite clothes. If she doesn't learn to do these types of jobs as a teen, she is going to be poorly prepared for adulthood.
  5. hugs4evry1

    hugs4evry1 New Member

    I have to chime in with the others here, your daughter is plenty old enough to be taking care of herself and chores around the home since you're sick and work full time. She's not pulling her share.....

    I taught my kids to cook one night each week from the time they were 10yrs old. Yes, we started with hot dogs and tater tots but by the time they left the home they could both put out a Thanksgiving dinner all by themselves. (Male and female kids)

    They had been putting away their own laundry since they were 5 yrs old. They didn't keep their drawers neat and it drove me crazy to see it.....and yes, they did their own laundry by themselves since they were teens. If they had to pull something out of the dirty laundry to wear to school, oh well!

    If I napped, I woke up to a clean house because that's what we do around here, we pitch in to help each other.

    Loving your kids does NOT mean doing everything for them, it means teaching them to become responsible members of society while they live with you so they're not lost when they leave the home and enter the world.....and they will leave home.

    Somebody (and I won't mention names) has you in the middle of a guilt trip and it's time to get off the ride.