My son had his evaluation today and you all were.........

Discussion in 'Fibromyalgia Main Forum' started by doxygirl, Jul 14, 2006.

  1. doxygirl

    doxygirl New Member


    I took my 19 year old son to a psych evaluation was conducted by a psyciatrist M.D..........the dx is definately "asperger's"!

    During the evaluation the Dr said that he meant no offense to me but asked me why I waited so long to do something about this ( my son is now 19 ) and I told him...........

    how I belonged to this support board ,and how you are the ones who actually brought aspergers to my attention...

    I explained to him that I have known for a long time my son was not the same as most people ..............but I had no idea aspergers even existed.

    When I was trying to explain the behaviors my son was very hard for me and I broke down and it took me a few minutes to compose myself........maybe reality has set in for me?

    I felt so bad because my son saw how upset I was, and it caused him to break down .....I hugged him and told him that I was crying because I love him so much and it hurts me to see him live with these difficulties aspergers creates...............

    Do you think by him seeing me break down when it was in regards to his aspergers behaviors............... that is may have caused him to feel guilty..... Gosh ,I so hope not!

    Iam relieved that we finally have a dx and can now move forward............the Dr says there is programs to help him function a little bit better.........and he also put him on zoloft for depression and OCD.......

    My son has taken anti depressants before and they caused him to become suicidal we are hopeful this won't happen with this one.

    Well, I would like to express my gratitude and appreciation to the many of you who took the time to read my posts and help me to find the answers to the questions I have had for so many years...........I truly owe each and everyone of you a BIG huge THANK YOU honestly if it weren't for you all ......I would still be in the dark!

    So "THANK YOU" with all my heart for enlightening me and helping me to be able to move forward in mine and my son's lives!

    Love and thanks

    [This Message was Edited on 07/14/2006]
  2. doxygirl

    doxygirl New Member

    "Yes" I did indeed tell the Dr about my sons suicidal tendencies from the other anti depressants ........

    he told us if it happens again to STOP taking the meds, and that my son will probably not be able to take them at all!

    Iam relieved that we now know for sure..............but a part of me is sad.............kind of hard to put into words why but Iam.

    When my son was still very small I made a list of things that were "concerning" to me........things that were different about my son and things that deep down inside I knew weren't "normal".........

    I took my list and my son to his pediatrician........I felt rushed and NOT taken I was made to feel like I was worried and concerned with nothing to warrant it........

    My son's pediatrician just said " your son is just doing these things for attention"!!!!!!!!!!!I knew beyond a shadow of a doubt my son was NOT doing any of the things on my list for attention............but I was younger and more naive.........I wish I would have not listened to that DR and stayed fighting for my son!

    The ironic thing is this Dr is still practicing medicine and believe it or not he IS the Dr my Grandson is being seen by!

    Thank you for your post to me!
  3. 69mach1

    69mach1 New Member

    what an emotional day for you both.....
    i posted on the other thread on how did the testing go...

    well now just will get your plan in action for your son...

    and now you know who you can take him to for help for him...

    did you mention anything about applying for ssi/or ssdi to the dr.?

    well i hope everything will get better maybe it won't be perfect but it will be tolerable..


  4. Smiffy

    Smiffy Member

    That's wonderful news Doxy, now you can go forward together & you can give him the help he needs to prepare him for life. I hope the Zoloft is a useful drug for him & that he can find something to assist him coping with his OCD.

    My son's 22 & despite my seeking help repeatredly has never had an official diagnosis, but I know he has Aspergers & mild Tourettes. (He has no friends & no idea how to make them, & neglected himself physically whilst at uni - he came home a complete wreck with a physics degree.)

    Our boys have many wonderful attributes alongside their difficulties, if we just look for them. I know that my son is completely honest, hard working & would never be rude to or about anyone. He needs repeatedly telling when to wash, change, do his laundry,buy new clothes & how to eat healthily tho'! I keep reminding myself that Einstein had Aspergers.
  5. Cromwell

    Cromwell New Member

    Well done. It really sounded like Aspergers for sure. Strangely, yesterday I accompanied a 13 year old girl with her parents to a psychiatrist. This kid was dx'd bipolar from being 7, but I saw she had Aspergers. And sure enough she got that dx and can start coming down off meds.

    Hurrah for this board. It relaly helps in many ways.

    Love Anne Cromwell
  6. libra55

    libra55 New Member

    Thank goodness it is over and you got a diagnosis. It is never a good thing to have Asperger's, but now your mind can be at rest.

    It is normal to feel weepy and sad. You will always mourn for the child that never was. I still go through that.

    I went through the exact same thing you did. The doctor told me it was "all in my mind". Another doctor told me I was a "nervous mother" and "needed tranquilizers". The teachers were no help either. My husband would not hear of any kind of testing for her. He would get all huffy and puffy every time I suggested it. (I think he has Asperger's too as I now see the residual traits in him as well).

    To complicate matters, she was my first child and I was totally unfamiliar with normal child development. When I had my second, and she began to surpass the first in meeting milestones, that's when I became nervous about it but I could never put into words exactly what I was seeing, I just knew something was terribly wrong.

    I don't know if you ever had playdates for your son when he was little, or invited kids over, or had birthday parties; if so you have probably got as many horror stories as I have about the "playdate from hell". My husband and I put a pool and jungle gym in the back yard, we bought a bazillion toys, we invited child after child and tried to set the stage for good social skills and how to play with others. She never clicked with one single child, and was not interested in the toys at all. Her first obsession was collecting dryer lint. She had drawerfulls of it.

    I now know from my own research that these kids need early intervention, the earlier the better, and have to be taught social skills in a very specific way by professional people so that they can understand it. The guilt I feel in not getting her that help will never go away. So I hear you on that point.

    When things became unbearable in middle school I put my foot down and went against my husband's wishes and took her to a testing center. My mother helped me pay for it. She was the only person that helped me. I told them I thought my daughter had some kind of "weird ADHD". When the results came back, their words to me "this is not ADHD it is something worse". NLD (Non-Verbal Learning Disability). The diagnosis of Asperger's came from a psychiatrist one year later, when she was nearly 14.

    Now I always tell people, listen to your guts, if you think something's wrong it probably is, don't wait, get your child tested.

    I hope this diagnosis even though it is late will be of help to you and your son, that you can get some programs in place to assist him and put your mind at rest. If there is a support group near you for Asperger's, please consider joining. Even if you don't go to the meetings, they can steer you to resources that are "Asperger-friendly". And it's nice to know you're not alone.

    My daughter had a terrible meltdown just last night, so it never ends.

    God Bless and Good Luck, glad to hear your news!

  7. CAAnnieB

    CAAnnieB New Member

    I can completely relate to your post. My son is also 19 & has Asperger's. He did not receive his official diagnosis until he was 13.

    I remember the overwhelming feeling of relief...FINALLY, there was an explanation for my son's symptoms/ odd behaviors! There were other families out in the world struggling with the same issues we were.

    On the other hand, there is an overwhelming feeling of sadness & grief. Reality can bring very strong emotions...especially for mothers.I have been where you are.

    Don't worry about breaking down in front of your son...Your explanation to him was so loving and honest. Yes, it hurts us very badly to see our children suffer. It's O.K. & healthy to show our emotions. What is of most importance is that our kids know that we love them unconditionally.

    My son has been on Zoloft for his chronic depression & OCD for 2 years. We are headed to a new Psychiatrist so he can be reevaluated. He has his ups & downs...College has brought added stress (social & school-work-related) Change has always been difficult for my son, so this time of his life is bound to bring added stressors/ an increase in symptoms.

    I hope & pray that you and your son receive the professional help needed to bring about success for your son.(In all areas of his life.)

    P.S. I remember asking 2 of my son's physicians about his "hand/ arm flapping" behavior when he was young...This concerned us as we didn't see anyone else's kids doing this!!! Those early Dr's told me it was nothing to worry about...He was just "releasing energy"!

    We also had my son evaluated TWO TIMES by a Developmental Pediatrician...The last time, she told me,"I could diagnose him with Autism, but I think the diagnosis would do more harm than good."...At the time, I thought she was nuts, because "Autism" to me was a child who did not communicate at all with the world. I did not know at that point in time about Asperger's & how some consider it to be part of the Autistic Spectrum. In retrospect, I wish she HAD diagnosed him when he was young...Oh well, better to recieve the dx later than never. Now you can move forward in getting your son the help he needs. Have you checked out the O.A.S.I.S. website? It's a very good resource.

    Hugs & Blessings,

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