my son, please send prayers

Discussion in 'Spirituality/Worship' started by lynncats, May 26, 2009.

  1. lynncats

    lynncats New Member

    I have FM depression, and bunches of other problems. The thing is you see, is that in October, our son (only child/wife disowned us, after the birth of our first grandchild. Reason's he stated, he didn't want us in their lives, especially our only grandchild, this is killing me to type., because, they say, that I'm selfish & because I smoke a little "weed" (something I do in the evenings & in the privacy of my own home) to relax that I am not a good role model. Never in my and DH minds would this of happened. Our son had a great childhood, and we got along GREAT. I only got to see my grandchild 2 times, and that was when he was born and a couple weeks after (he was born on Sept. 11, 2008, then the BOMB fell....son said, we are living our lives, and you live yours. He won't call us, heck, I didn't even get a Mothers day card or a call that day. I guess what I'm trying to say is with FM, doesn't this kind of stress worsen our situations? It kills me every day that I'm going thru this, it is like a dream that I can't wake up from. We've gotten e-mails from them, that aren't very nice, that was back in Dec. Sorry this is so long....but I've kept it bottled up inside me, and all I want to do is scream/cry. My hubby keeps telling me to just let is go, (it's killing him too, and it's killing him more to see me so sad). Our son is only 23 and his wife is only 21. I truly hope I haven't bored anyone!!!! There is more to this story but, I shall end it here, my brain isn't wanting to work. Thanks for listening!! I truly believe it is my dil and her family trying to keep me and hubby out of the picture.


  2. vivian53

    vivian53 Member

    After reading your post here, and the one you wrote about your son and not hearing from him on Mothers Day, I understand your pain. I know you are hurt and confused. Who wouldn't be?

    I don't know why he is separating himself from you and his father. I do know that it is very sad for everyone. I also know how this makes your pain and depression worse.

    There are of course, many people who don't understand this DD and the medication we have to use to help us get by. I do understand what you are doing and know it's ok. Maybe the in- laws are talking badly about you etc.

    I can tell from your post how much you love and miss you son and grandchild. I hope that he will be able to see the same thing too and invite you and your DH back in to his life.

    Did you know that grandparents can file for visitation rights? This is a last resort and solidifies hard feelings in to rock hard resentments usually, pero, I just wanted you to know.

    My heart goes out to you Lynn. I want you to know that you have my ear and my support whenever.

  3. lynncats

    lynncats New Member

    Thank you so much for responding. This mess is killing me everyday, and I know that I shouldn't let it get to me like I do, but I just can't help it, I'm sitting here crying right now as I type. My heart is so darn broken.

    I was told, that Fla. doesn't have a grandparents visitation rights. I even called a lawyer at one point, and she said No, but to keep trying to talk to them. Well, how can I talk to them when he won't answer my calls/e-mails anymore. Vivan, I know this is long, but if you don't mind reading the following I would soooo appreciate it, let me know what you think.

    Take Care and Hugs your way!!!!

    > I typed this before I rec'd your letter. Just
    > wanted to get some things off my chest. P.S.
    > Regarding your letter, thank you for making me and dad sound
    > like we are some sort of monsters.
    > I guess you won’t answer my calls or E-mail, so I’m
    > gonna try a letter. We really need to talk.
    > Whatever the heck is going on must stop. This is no
    > way to treat your parents, regardless of our
    > lifestyle. We raised you better than this. We
    > truly miss you in our lives. Not that we need to
    > communicate everyday or anything like that, but for you to
    > just turn
    > your back on us, it’s like we are living in hell.
    > We are having a hard time dealing with this, and deep in our
    > hearts we know it has to be bothering you too,
    > somehow. No we weren’t the best parents in the
    > world, but then who is. We all learn things as life
    > goes on. We feel that you had a good childhood,
    > playing ball in the backyard (which I will take credit for),
    > you and me used to love to hang out in the backyard, me
    > teaching you to play. Being at the field at
    > 8:00 in the morning for your games. Watching you
    > perform at school, (kindergarten, middle school). From
    > t-ball to baseball
    > you did an excellent job. We have and always will be
    > so proud of you. Going to different amusement parks,
    > and having the time of our lives. We did have some fun
    > times.
    > Now you are grown, and you are treating us like we are
    > dirt. Keeping Jonathan out of our lives, and us out of
    > his, is like
    > a kick in the stomach. We NEVER in our wildest
    > dreams thought this is how things would turn out. We
    > have always been there for you, and Jennifer for that
    > matter, and this is how we get treated. I always
    > thought that the bible teaches “honor thy mother and thy
    > father” (NO MATTER WHAT).
    > Michael, I’m not trying to say that we have to be up each
    > others behinds, but the holidays, come on, at least the
    > holidays, Jonathans b-day, we could spend some time
    > together. I know you have your own family now, which I
    > think is great, but darn it, we are family too. If you
    > only knew how hard this has hit us (not to mention the rest
    > of my family), it would blow your mind. Grandma Beach
    > even has moments when she cries thinking about all
    > this. It’s breaking her heart everyday too. I
    > mean come on, you can’t even send us pictures of Jonathan,
    > what harm would that do. My doctor has put me on a
    > depression
    > pill, because I have a hard time sleeping/eating/crying,
    > when the only thing on my mind, is WHY?
    > So, let’s just put this behind us, and move forward, life
    > is too darn short.
    > Our love to the three of you.
    > MOM

    > What part of my last email do you not
    > understand? The way you and Dad are would be a bad
    > influence on my family. What part of that do you not
    > understand? In the bible it does say "honor thy
    > mother and thy father" but it does not mean I have
    > to blindly follow and obey my parents. The day I got
    > married is the day I left you two and started my own
    > family. Granted you are still my mother and father,
    > but the relationship we have will never be the same and nor
    > should it be. I have my own family now and we are
    > working on following a righteous path and becoming
    > successful and prosperous. You guys should be proud of
    > me for taking a stand for my family, but the way you would
    > like for me to live my life would be to copycat your own
    > stupidity. You are so self focused you appear to be
    > blind to the fact that a pot smoker would be
    > a horrible influence in a young person's life. If you
    > still do not
    > understand then let's stop communicating because this
    > will never end.
    [This Message was Edited on 05/26/2009]
  4. vivian53

    vivian53 Member

    I think you have made it clear to him how much you are hurting. I don't think you left anything out.

    It sounds like you are now, and were in the past, a wonderful and involved mother.

    IMO smoking pot is no big deal, but your son obviously feels differently.

    Of course no one is going to smoke pot in front of their grandchildren. I know you'd make sure they had no idea about it and would never come in contact with it.

    Lynn I am so sorry you are going through this. It sounds like you have explored every avenue. You have no choice but to accept his decision for the time being while continuing to ask him to change his mind, and reassuring him about the 'no pot around kids' concern.

    He knows what you have done for him in the past. Children don't forget that kinda stuff forever. I am also sure he knows you don't want him to repeat your same mistakes, none of us want our children to do that.

    None of us parents have been perfect either. We try the best we can with what we have.

    I will pray that he comes around and that you will have a long and close relationship with your grandchild.

  5. lynncats

    lynncats New Member

    I can't thank you enough for taking the time to read my post. I will and always will love my son, no matter what, and he knows this. He also knows that I would not expose my grandson to "weed" (it is a personal thing for me, as it does relax me and helps me eat).

    Someone on another board, said that it sounds like my dil just doesn't like the idea that my son and us had a great relationship, so she is trying to ruin it. She was molested as a child by the hands of her own mother.

    Thanks for keeping me in your prayers, you have help me alot.

    Take care!!!!
  6. windblade

    windblade Active Member

    Lifting up prayers for your relationship with your son. I'm so sorry for your pain, and hope that things will be resolved. Will keep praying for you and your DH.

  7. lynncats

    lynncats New Member

    thanks so much. Keeping myself and hubby in your prayers is so sweet. We sure need it. Take Care!!

  8. Doznclan3

    Doznclan3 New Member

    Sending prayers that things can be worked out with all of you. I love the word compromise. Maybe you could come together with something that would be agreeable to all of you. Praying that this can happen for you. I can't imagine not being able to see my children or grandchildren. I would think that this would be a terrible feeling. So sorry for you having to go through this.
    Love, Cynthia
  9. lynncats

    lynncats New Member

    Thank you!! I would love to sit with him and try to compromise, but he will not call me back. I haven't tried calling him, (until today and he hasn't called me back, just like I thought) for sometime, cause I know he won't answer, and it just keeps breaking my heart into smaller pieces. Thank you and everyone hetr for their prayers. Ya'll have been great.


  10. TwoCatDoctors

    TwoCatDoctors New Member

    Hi Lynn, I want to mention that for security purposes you may want to remove the names and e-mail addresses from the e-mail messages you put on here. It's really not safe to list personal info and we get people on here selling things, wanting to do surveys and people just watching sites. So how about editing that stuff out to keep your son and you both safe. Thanks.
  11. lynncats

    lynncats New Member

    OMG, thank you so much, I never even thought about that when I sent it. I will do that!

    [This Message was Edited on 05/26/2009]