For those of you who've been following, Tarok went back to ICU to be re-intubated just a few hours after I posted that he was doing better. He's actually much worse this time, and I wore myself out last night fighting with the doctors because they're letting him work too hard for his breath and it's going to make him much worse in the long run. He's very uncomfortable and unable to sleep because he's working so hard and I was so angry to see how he was being neglected. I've been doing my best to take care of myself an be there for my kids, but I'm having a really hard time sticking it. The emotional distress takes a HUGE toll on my overall health and I can really feel the difference when it comes to my fatigue. Sometimes I get so upset and angry that I can't even yell at these people without risking completely losing it! It just seemed like no one was on his side last night (admittedly some times athey pay closer attention) I really wonder if the resident on call last night had ever even read his chart. He made some real bonehead statements about how "from a respiratory perspective he's doing ok" (Tarok's indrawing even though he's on the vent) It's not even a respiratory problem, it's metabolic. Stupid arsehole! Well, Grandma's with Tarok today. I'm miserable to not be there, but someone has to take care of Ethan and I have to go get in my welfare worker's face for holding my cheque. Another stupid arsehole!