My son's Thanksgiving Card

Discussion in 'Chit Chat' started by kjade, Nov 20, 2007.

  1. kjade

    kjade New Member

    My son (5 yrs old and in Kindergarten) brought home the Thanksgiving card he created - so much innocence and charm at this tender age. It pains me to write this, but...........on the outside is a beautiful turkey he made using a painted hand print and he colored the wings beautifully. (aspiring artist just like his perfect dad).

    On the inside, the teacher wrote "I am thankful for" and the child had to write in their own way of thinking, the response. There were quite a few ltrs written as Kindergartner's don't know yet how to write out the teacher wrote underneath what they were trying to say/write. All it said was "my dad".

    I am heartbroken right now. My older son (now 8) brought home something similar a couple years back, only his was grateful for his dad, brother, sister, dog, mention of MOM.

    I guess that's ok - they don't understand at this age what they are doing, and I certainly would not want to place any amount of guilt on them at this impressionalbe time in their lives, so I just tell him how beautiful his picture is and what a good job he did. I did ask where mom was and all he said was he didn't have room on the paper.

    I just want to go jump into a river right now. Isn't mom supposed to be the most important influence on them right now? And no mention of "mom"?

    I see the real picture now - the innocence of children. Yes my dh is a wonderful father - I am very lucky - he is everything I lacked as a child for a "parent" figure. But it seems that all my hard work and devotion to these children means NOTHING. I can't even be thought of in a little children's card.

    Guess I really am a failure - just as I always thought.
  2. pumpkinpatch

    pumpkinpatch New Member

    I wouldn't be so hard on yourself, I'm sure he meant nothing by that. You are not a failure. I saw your picture and you are beautiful. A wonderful mother and wife doing her best. Don't get discouraged. I read one of your previous posts and it looks like you have alot of your plate with work, responsibility of house and children with husband gone. I think you need some ME time. Go out for a coffee with a friend, shop, soak in a hot tub, tan, etc, whatever. It will all help. I know how you feel. My husband worked away for many months at a time and I had so much pressure especially with teenage sons.
    If I lived close we could go for a walk and just talk!
    Hope my post brightened you up a little. Don't take the picture personal.

  3. jasminetee

    jasminetee Member

    I totally understand you feeling that way but I don't think he left you out because he doesn't love you, I'm sure he does. I'm sure both of your sons do. I'll bet you it didn't even occur to the teacher either as she was just trying to get to everyone. I used to teach and looking back I can see that that probably happened in my classroom too and I was just too busy to notice. It is possible that your boys take you for granted and also you may end up playing the bad cop a lot because you're there the most and doing the most for them and with them. Are you able to talk to your own mother about this or grandmother? They probably can relate.

    Boys! What are you gonna do? Believe me, if you were taken from them I'm sure they'd be extremely upset.

    Hugs Hon,
  4. justjanelle

    justjanelle New Member

    and we went around the table saying what we're thankful for, as we do each Thanksgiving, her turn came around and she said, "I'm thankful for olives!" and grabbed a handful from a dish near her.

    It doesn't mean they don't love us. But their attention spans are so short and they are so easily distracted at that age. And, yes, I also think Mom is sometimes taken for granted -- but not loved any the less!

    Best wishes,
  5. kjade

    kjade New Member

    Thank you all for replying to this. I wrote this last night - I was extremely upset and depressed. I suppose I have been under an extreme amount of stress with work (keeps getting worse - see my other thread), my kids, all the running around, the holidays, ect, ect....on TOP of being so ill and in pain CONSTANTLY with a Dr that does not help me.

    I went into the bathroom last night when I should have been in bed and just cried and cried for over an hour. (this is something I never do). So maybe it was healing a little bit. I was also very tearful about it on my way to work today. Of course my son isn't trying to hurt my feelings.....I don't blame him. It just hurt because deep down, I do NOT feel like the kind of mother I always wanted to be. Someone once told me no one can break your heart more than your children. Now I understand this, but I know it is not done on purpose.

    No I cannot go to my mother because I think she would be secretly glad - she always told me when I was growing up that she couldn't wait until I had kids, and she hoped they would be as cruel to me as I was to her. I have no idea what I ever did to her (loooong story). But she would not understand. I cannot talk to my friends or SIL, because they would just start going on and on about how PERFECT their children and their lives are, and then I just want to vomit. So I came to you guys, and as usual you have provided the support I needed. This has made me feel better, and I thank you. Tomorrow at dinner (if I can get through it) I will be secretly thanking God for my friends here at the board. I have FM that I HATE, but it brought me to all of you, which has been a blessing. I am so grateful for everyone here.

    I hope you all have a wonderful holiday.
  6. jasminetee

    jasminetee Member

    You wrote: "she always told me when I was growing up that she couldn't wait until I had kids, and she hoped they would be as cruel to me as I was to her"

    So did my mother! And I was a good kid too. She was really flipping out especially during her perimenopause period which lasted about a decade while I was growing up.

    I know exactly what you mean about not being able to share with your other relatives. I get that!

    I'm glad we can support you here.

    [This Message was Edited on 11/21/2007]
  7. jmcdelaney

    jmcdelaney New Member

    I am sure it hurts, but I think that just like our kids take for granted everything we do for them, the also take for granted that already know they love us.

  8. kjade

    kjade New Member

    Tee: Thanks so much for your support, and I am relieved to know I am not the only one whose mother said such things. I hope I can restrain myself when my kids are teens, and not say such things. I really think my mom didn't understand the damage she was causing by telling me these things. I was a REALLY good kid too - I just didn't understand, but now that I have kids, I can kind of see where she was coming from. But I pray I will never use those lines on my kids.

    joann: Our kids do take us for granted (definitely moms) - they already KNOW we are there and will take care of everything for them, so it is a given to them. I will keep this in mind.

    Terch: You are right - boys do worship their dads - mine do for sure! They pay no attention to me until they need or want something. I hope as they grow older, they will learn to appreciate me for everything I have done. I do have a daughter, but she is only 2 - she already follows me around trying to be like me (trying to use my makeup and clean up like I do). At this point she is a "daddy's girl" but hopefully, she will idolize me too one day.

    Thank you all - you are the only ones that made me see things the way they really are instead of focusing on what I think things really mean. (you know taking everything so personally and being over-sensitive). I know my kids love me. Thank you!