My story, and struggle...

Discussion in 'Fibromyalgia Main Forum' started by Gcoz, Apr 14, 2006.

  1. Gcoz

    Gcoz New Member

    I'm 24 y/o, and a former drug addict. I can only describe my childhood as traumatic, and a lot of my life being a series, perhaps onslaught would be a better word of unfortunate events and tragedies. Still, I always thought I was tough and I ended up a drug addicted trying to cope with a lot of the nightmares. I'm still lucky though, I have a great education and am financially sound and am attempting to make something out of my life. That being said, my struggle started a few years ago after a drug induced panic attack that put me in the ER. After that, a doctor decided I need zoloft, and I trusted them. They gave me too much, I ended up having a three week roller coaster of cluster panic attacks, as many as 12-15 a day for three weeks. A period of time that had me seriously contemplating ending my life to end the misery.

    I trudged on, and something worse was about to come. After I came out of the that fog, I became sensitive to a lot of things, light, sound, people's emotional state. I felt like a raw nerve stripped bare. I had headaches, staticky vision, tinnitus, muscle twitches, nausea, fatigue and insomnia. My hands would shake and I couldn't remember what I was doing a minute before. Alcohol managed to calm this for a little while, and because most doctors didn't know what to tell me and ran a bunch of tests, I just moved on to becoming an alcoholic to deal with this problem. I even moved out of country to Asia, to be a teacher. It was the right thing to do, but my life consisted of me going to work, commonly falling asleep there, going home, taking a nap, waking up, and drinking myself to sleep. Everyday, I was tired, in pain in one way or another, and not functioning cognitively in a way I should have. I'm a smart person. I scored in the 70th percentile of SATs, when I was 10 years old. So, I was lucky enough to gain that genetic gift, but at that point, I couldn't remember things, and I would all of sudden glaze over mid sentence. I become frustrated and angry and a lot of my relationships suffered for it.

    Everyone seemed to want to be encouraging, but I could tell they all thought it was in my head. That's an awful feeling. It's a dark cold corner to be alone in. Only my brother seemed to believe in me. I went through a series of treatments, fads and whatever else hoping for some relief. Fortunately, time seemed to do some of the work, but not enough.

    Fast forward a couple of years, I'm back in the US. I've moved to New York to chase a dream, because that's why we have them in the first place. Another flare up, bad this time. No more, I needed medical attention and I happened to find a really reknown integrative specialist. He did some tests, lots of them. Drained blood, poked, prodded, and is still kind of in the process of this.

    This is what he found. The velocity of the blood to the brain is fast, and the early signs of stenosis are apparent. I have deficiencies of acetylcholine, dopamine, seretonin, and GABA. My GABA deficieny is extreme and possibly the key to all of this. This deficieny may be interfering with my body's ability to release growth hormone because I don't go into the deeper stages of sleep. Also, my immune system is suppressed, my liver slightly enlarged, I have gallstones, and slight scarring on one of my lungs from when I was a smoker. Oh yeah, my left ventricle is slightly enlarged, my blood coagulates too much, my blood pressure was elevated although it's normal now, and my cholesterol was high. I'm also about 25 pounds overweight.

    My treatment consists of a crapload of supplements for all of these ailments. For medication, I'm on Neurontin, Campral, and Klonipin. Also, I'm on Growth Hormone, which is really really expensive. I also do Cranial Electrical stimulation.

    For physical activity, I do yoga and jog a lot. I'm training for my first marathon.

    The funny part is, I've always been physically active, even when I became afflicted. I would feel exhausted, work out anyway, and still feel exhausted afterwards. Maybe a little less so, but while working out, I would feel normal, which becomes an addiction, because we all know how good it feels on those rare occasions where it feels like a moment of normalcy washes over our lives again.

    Where am I now, well, despite my doctor sometimes pissing me off, I feel like he's on to something. Despite communication breakdowns at times, he has shown a lot of compassion towards me and lacked judging my past as a drug abuser. So, I think he's doing a good job. He still has to run some more tests though. I'm thinking that I might not be tolerant to gluton, as I've noticed a flare up of symptoms a couple hours after eating wheat products.

    However, I will trudge forward regardless. I will run that marathon in the fall. I will continue to chase my dreams. And I will continue to put one foot in front of the other, even if it wobbles a bit when I do it. To all of you still looking for your panacea, good luck. My heart goes out to all of you. -Coz
  2. sues1

    sues1 New Member

    Welcome to this board. You sure have a story to tell. I am amazed at how you have over came so much. You have what it takes to overcome this illness.

    There is new research and more all the time.

    I am not feeling so well......but wanted to say.....Welcome aboard....keep us informed...ask anything....(go by the rules of this board though).we are here for you......

    Sending many Blessings and gentle hugs.......Susan
  3. matthewson

    matthewson New Member

    I posted a really good article on the 4 neurontransmitters involved in mental health. I will bump it up for you. It was amazing to me what too much or too little of each will cause.

    Your story is amazing. I think your Dr. is on to something.

    Take care, Sally
  4. spiritsky

    spiritsky Member

    Just a couple of comments after reading your story. First of all, I think you'll find a lot of good information and help on this site. There are a lot of caring, compassionate people who want to share their experiences and help others along the way.

    As far as HGH. I take it also and it is expensive, but you can find cheaper sources. In case you don't already, this is where I get mine. It's the cheapest source you can find right now that I know of.

    Go to the website for "antiaginggroup". They are located in orlando florida. The HGH that this company uses is from Signature Pharmacy, also in orlando. It only costs "$8.00" per iu , and it's a excellent quality.

    To get the prescription you need to work with the antiaginggroup and fill in all the information and send them your lab results. They will have a doctor call you for a 15 minute consult and then give you the prescription. It doesn't cost anything for the consult - you only pay for the HGH.

    As for the neurotransmitters, yes they are a problem for me also. But you might want to try more natural products instead of the pharmaceuticals which have side effects and can be addictive. For Seratonin levels I take 750mg Tryptophan 2 hours before bed. For GABA, I take 500mg GABA at bedtime along with 1mg melatonin. Also I take 250mg tyrosine in the morning which helps with several neurotransmitters and supports the thyroid. And lastly I take 500mg Ashwagandha for sleep 2 hrs before bed.

    Hope this is of help, Good luck...
  5. Gcoz

    Gcoz New Member

    I looked back on this post and figured I would explain in greater detail the therapy I am undergoing. It has been costly, but effective and my doctor really seems to know what he's doing. I went through a lengthy diagnostic period including the use of BEAM or brain electrical activity mapping. I could go through all the other tests that I've had, but it's kind of pointless. Either way, here's what the doctor has me taking.

    1. Neurontin - 300mg 2x daily
    2. Campral - 333mg 3x daily
    3. Klonipin - 0.5mg 1x daily
    4. HGH - .5mL daily

    Supplements: (I'm not going to actually list dosages, as he switches these up)
    1. GABA and Inositol
    2. N-acetyl Carnatine
    3. tyrosine and L-Phenthylamine
    4. 5htp - St. John's Wart
    5. L-Tryptophan

    I also take vitamins, but nothing of any great note.

    Lastly, he's recommended a certain diet and exercise. Also, I have a CES unit, which although it seems odd, works really well. It's light cranial electrical stimulation.

    I was really messed up when I came to his office and the tests came out pretty bad.

    As far as Campral, it's usually meant for Alcoholics, but he feels that it will help me.

    Any other questions, feel free to ask.

    As far as being on the Meds, he told me that his goal was to get me off the meds, but he feels that I need to achieve some type of neurochemical balance. Then he will take me off the drugs.
  6. deliarose

    deliarose New Member

    Who is your doctor?