MY STORY ,the mental pain can be as hard as thePhysical

Discussion in 'Fibromyalgia Main Forum' started by carebelle, Dec 21, 2004.

  1. carebelle

    carebelle New Member

    Again forgive my spelling .Several years ago I think about 7 I worked for a news paper.This was always one of my dreams as a kid.I sold advertisements.
    After about three months there ,I was starting to get run down with winter colds ect.On one day I was going to leave work and meet my husband and oldest son at his apt.to help him move.
    The following is what I remember.I had a headache and felt kinda dizzy but I left in my car and started towards my sons.I'm not sure where on that drive it started but I became very upset and confused as to who ,what, where ,I was.
    I remember thinking that someone was following me and I was scarried and trying to find my way back home.I was crying uncontrolable but still driving.I somehow Threw the grace of God 6 hours later made my way back home.
    My husband was terrified I had been lost and driveing around, that long and he didnt know where I was.
    I basicly fell into him getting out of my car and he walked me into my liveing room.
    Everything seem like it was in another demention.He layed me down on the couch where I stayed for several weeks scared to move.Only going to the bathroom.
    I lost my job.I was paranoid for months afraid of everyone.Finely my husband made me seek out mental health because he was becomeing more and more fearful as to what was wrong with me.
    THE ONLY MEDICATIONS I WAS ON WAS HORMONES .The Doctors told me I have a hormone and chemical imbalence.She put me on a anti deppression drug .
    I have had CFS and FM for years before this happen but after this I have gotten really bad .I live with pain everyday along with alot of the other problems that these DD have.
    During my sickness I beleave I saw Angels .I also thought that I was someone else, I had memories of liveing another life.
    NOW BEFORE YOU ALL THINK I"M really mentally Ill ,I AM NOT.My doctors know all this and more and have cleared me of any mental Illinesses.THEY ONLY SAY IT IS AN HORMONIAL IMBALENCE.
    The reason I have written this for all of you is to find out if ANYONE has gone threw anything like this.
    I never thought about other lifes before this ,but beleave me now I wonder they were like Real memories .Some very scary.
    I beleave My CFS and FM was made so much worse OR that my FM and CFS made this happen.Remember I was not on ANY meds except Hormones.
    Please give me your feelings and share your own experences with me.Althought my mental health is back to being me this experence has changed me.
    I am a Christian and only got threw all of that because of praying all the time in my head for months.
    I guess I would like to know your mental health with these DD.Please take me serious I am still searching for what may have caused my health problems.
    Thank you to those that do not judge on this cite and thank you for letting people like me vent our health and what this DD has done to us.
    PLEASE donot put this on the other cites I need all of your CFS and FM experences to put my life back together hopefully with more knowlege about all of this.
    We talk about the body pains now talk about what it has done to you mentally.I hope that by my being and shareing this you to will not be afraid to share.
    [This Message was Edited on 12/22/2004]
  2. tansy

    tansy New Member

    as a possibility here. Not only does it affect the brain but hormone levels and hormone receptors. Changes in hormone levels can exacerbate the symptoms. LD is often misdiagnosed as psychiatric illness or a chemical imbalance in the brain but when patients are treated with antibiotics or samento those problems can go away.

    Lyme disease is called the great imitator, and many who were Dx with FM and CFS have Lyme Disease.

    The borrelia produce bio, endo, and neuro toxins causing body wide illness and symptoms. I had some really weird brain symptoms on and off in the early years of my illness and again as a result of the herx from the die off whilst taking Samento, fortunately they were shortlived this time around.

    It may not be the answer but it would be worth looking into.

    love, Tansy

    [This Message was Edited on 12/21/2004]
  3. carebelle

    carebelle New Member

    I was tested for that years ago but I think Ill get tested again .Thank you for responding.Can you help me keep my story on the front page for awhile so it will have a chance to get more responce about how these DD effect us mentally?Thank you
  4. silverose

    silverose New Member

    What a terriable experiance you had and very scary, I was in the mental hosp. twice (read my profile)but I am not sure if it was from CFS or depression .
    I sure hope you don't go through that again.

    Much Love
    Mary
  5. goldenrod

    goldenrod New Member

    Hi,
    I have had minor anxiety since my disease hit me. never to that extreme, but I can remember it being pretty bad a few years ago....it effected decisions i was making so i got ativan and it helped a lot. good luck
    Mark
  6. craziC

    craziC New Member

    It took a lot of courage for you to share so opening with us. Thank you for doing that. Growing up I was always a worrier. I worried about EVERYTHING. I used to pray at night that there a nuclear bomb wouldn't go off and kill us all. That's some heavy thoughts for a girl at the age of 8.

    I would have horrible nightmares and would actually see people standing in my room above my bed. I was terrified to go to sleep at night. That finally subsided after my parents sought counseling for me.

    In my teen years I started to battle depression. I was hospitalized at the age of 19 for 2 weeks in the Psych unit. I was having horrible panic attacks and battling eating disorders and self-harm.

    I worked through each of those things but the depression has never gone away. Now after becoming ill it's difficult to work through the depression and find joy in my life. I work on it everyday but I feel I'm making progress (mentally).

    I've learned to pay more attention to my attitude. I try not to sweat the small stuff. It can be hard but I know it helps me a great deal. I truly believe in the mind/body connection.

    Some things that I've experienced from time to time since becomeing ill is hearing voices at night when I go to bed. It just sounds like people wispering or mumbling. I've also had weird buzzing sounds and tingling feelings in my head.

    I'm not sure if this is due to medication or if it's related to my flares. I notice "hearing" things when I'm in a really bad flare so that might be the cause. Who knows, but it's scary none the less!

    Just know that you're not alone!
    Hugs & Health,
    Crazi
  7. carebelle

    carebelle New Member

    forgive me for bumping my own but I really need more people to respond.Thank You
  8. GoAwayPain

    GoAwayPain New Member

    Just something i was reading today, really struck a note when i read a recent post of yours. I instantly wanted to email you the URL, but that isnt allowed. But the person who wrote the post helped heal her own problems and she made quite a bit of sense with some connections, that not only would explain some things for you that you cant find an explanation for, but also fit some of your symptoms. Consider a congested liver, the cause for this. She claims with a congested liver, less oxygen is delivered to the system, particurly to the head, just simply because of gravity, affecting the mind and the eyes. Also, having cfs and fibro, and maybe due to the unlying causes of these illnesses, the liver is especially taxed in people like us. I have had these issues for a long time too. I currently feel very flu like, haveing problems with candida, low THS thyroid levels, leaky gut. I am having a hard time trying to figure out what to eat, what supplment etc. I may have to just do light meals, some meats and veggies, some juicing. But, I can't post the URL, cause they do sell the products they developed, chinese tinctures to heal and cleanse the liver, but also they explain the protocal they believe is best for cleansing/flushing the liver. Hope I have helped. I hang in the fibro room if i can help any more.
    God Bless
  9. darude

    darude New Member

    Mine started with dizziness and then a week of feeling completely space out at work had to stand by the wall to keep upright if i got up. then the following week got up to go to work and felt strange and passed out! Went to ER and they did all sorts of heart tests etc. Released me and I was bumping in to walls and had a tremendous headache. the headache was like none other and also had awful anxiety! Three weeks later still the same and now i was dehydrated! Back to hospital and they said nothing they could do. Went for another three months headaches (brutal) fatigue and extremem anxiety! finally headache subsided and anxiety but was left with terrible pain throughout body with back and legs being the worst. Still docs dont know what is going on seem to be getting more disabled every day.
  10. carebelle

    carebelle New Member

    I know all this can be overwelming.Hang in there .I wish that all of these board post could be copyed and given to the President in person.This is really scarry because we do not know how many people have this happen.Now when I hear a person is missing I wonder if they are going threw some of these same things.I'm afraid this is our next poleo (sorry about that spelling)it's like I just cant remember how to spell and nothing looks right when I write it.so Ive started to just spell some words the way they sound hoping people understand.I never could spell very well but the pass few weeks its been terrible.I have a headache everyday just some days it worse then others.That first day I got sick at work I know I was sooooooo dizy I wish they would have made me stay and called my husband.I'm so sorry this is happening to people and its like no one will hear what we are saying.
  11. mitzy5000777

    mitzy5000777 New Member

    what happened to you could be from the fibro or CFS or perhaps something else. do you mind my asking what type of dr. dx'ed you with a chemical imbalance? and did they tell you exactly what they meant by that? the reason I ask is that I hope a mental health professional made that dx given the nature of your symptoms. i am definitely into specialists, as there is just too much info for a PCP to possibly be an expert on. a neurologist perhaps to run tests such as an MRI might be a good idea, but i realize that your symptoms are under control or basically gone except the depression. i know i have lesions on my brain from migraines. i was told the location of such lesions if large enough could cause a variety of mental symptoms (and physical for that matter). also, you may have been told what sort of chemical imbalance and not wanted to share, which is fine, of course. but they believe depression is a chemical imbalance but so is schizophrenia (sp - wrong i am sure! lol) of course, some think fibro is basically some sort of chemical imbalance. anyway, i am asking these questions hoping you have gotten an accurate diagnosis, and your awful experience will not happen to you again! i am a Christian also - i am sure your prayers got you through! i will certainly pray for you!
  12. mitzy5000777

    mitzy5000777 New Member

    Hi - was reading all these posts and saw yours re/nightmares and seeing people standing by your bed. did you know that is what is commonly referred to as night terrors? you probably do, but if not, you should read about them. i have a friend who had them when she was a child. she has dealt with anxiety and depression all her life also. wonder if there is a connection? hope you find all the joy you are looking for. you'll be in my prayers (as are many here!}.
  13. Tigger57

    Tigger57 New Member

    I totally agree that the mental portion of this DD can be worse than the physical.

    I'm so sorry you're going through all of this.

    Hugs,
    Tigger
  14. neen85

    neen85 New Member

    Please read my CFS shocker posts regarding lyme. There are 4 total and myself and several others go into detail about our treatment with natural remedies etc. There are also great lyme articles posted by tansy and summerbreeze.

    On LymeNet there is a great article on the Neuropsychiatric effects of Lyme. You might look into this. Daneen
  15. craziC

    craziC New Member

    At the time of my nightmares not too much was said about the cause or it possibly being night terrors. I now know that's what they were. Once I hit pubery the night terrors subsided.

    I still get occasional nightmares - in fact I had one last night. I dreamt I had a ton of lizards and they all got out of their cages. One lizard bit and held on to my shin. It actually hurt so bad!! I'm wondering if maybe I was having muscle spasms/cramps in my sleep??? Weird though.

    Hugs,
    Crazi
  16. carebelle

    carebelle New Member

    I have been to all kinds of Doc's .The dx'ed was by more then one doc.A GP ,Psychiatrist, a Nurse C that specializes in Womens problems.
    A obgyn,and I am going to a Nuro Doc in a few weeks but I have seen them in the pass.In the Miltary system it can take going threw lots of Doctors but I go monthly to my Psychiatrist.
    NO I have not been dx'ed with any mental health problem.I even ask if they were sure (lol)My horemone imbalence is just that I am going threw the change of life.
    My FM and CFS was dx'ed by all these doc's plus a rheumatolgest on more then one occasion.
    I should have gone to a nuro back when it happen but everyone else was so sure and I did have an EEg ,MRI ,ect. and my doctors talk to the other doctors about the results.
    My Mercry posioning was by a homeopathy MD that was top in his field.(That was years before this other happen) He was in charge of the Alternative Medicine at NIH in Washington D.C. and also a couple of Dentist said I should have my fillings removed.I am going to do this ,this year.
    My depression is just that probably from my hormones PMS stuff.in High School.
    No mental health problems in my family except depression.I don't want this to ever happen again .I am only takeing zoloft and zocore.I have tried LOTS of stuff in the pass from all these Docs and recently I have gotton off everything but those two things.My CF is at its worse so I have apt.to see people about pain ect.
  17. lana33

    lana33 New Member

    I too have had depression probably all my life. I used to pray to be cured but I feel like this is something I am suppose to endure.

    I have had different episodes, none as long a what you had, but I remember the most recent being a couple nights ago.

    I always dream, however I don't remember all dreams. I woke up and literally did not know where I was. I was in my own bedroom but kept asking my husband where I was.

    He seems pretty calm about it cause I wake up in strange states a lot. LOL It took me a few minutes, I am guessing about 10 minutes.

    Then I got up went to the bathroom. Thinking I am back to my old self, I got a piece of cake from the kitchen. I went back to bed.

    I woke up with chocolate on the front of my shirt. The cake was still on the plate in my hands.

    This episode has never happened before. It is like I had to spread the chocolate on my shirt cause this could not have gotten on me by just wasting it.

    This is kind of embarasing but thought I would share this experience.

    Before I was diagnosed with fibro, I never had bizarre experiences like I do now. Don't think it is the medications cause I haven't had any big changes.

    Hugs,
    Lana
  18. carebelle

    carebelle New Member

    now I have strange dreams but nothing that is as real as when I saw the angels.I'll always beleave they were real but thats just me.
  19. Prunella

    Prunella New Member

    I have been doing a lot of reading and research on wheat and gluten. Among other things, they can cause the symptoms you are describing. My daughter and I have not eaten any gluten for a week and a half and we both feel much better!!! She was getting a little bit of what you had. I was already researching gluten and suggested we both try avoiding it. I have noticed a big difference in her mood! I am getting over a bad cold and have not noticed any big changes, yet. We both ate some wheat the last two days because of Chirstmas. Do some research on gluten. You will be surprised what you find out!

    Also, watch out for low blood sugar. That can cause mental problems,too. Don't skip meals and eat healty food including plenty of protien.

    One more thing, make sure you get essential fatty acids. Fish oil is very important for mood and brain function. Also, be sure to use other good oils like olive oil and flax oil.

    There are books and article on "food and mood". Do some research.

    Eat yogurt with live active cultures or take probiotics.

    Eat lots of fresh fruits and vegetables.

    I hope this helps. No one should have to go thru what you did.

    God's blessing this Christmas and always!
  20. matn

    matn New Member

    Please read my profile as I have recovered from the symptoms of FM, MCS and CFS mainly by changing what I consume. I believe we are all being exposed to poor food choices as well as toxic additives and contaminants. I am now free of gluten, dairy, soy, sugar, MSG, and anything processed and I have recovered. Drugs were not the answer and they compound the problem. You need to stop the toxic assault and let you body heal. It will take time, but chances are you will get better.

    It is helpful to have blood allergy testing to indentify the specific foods to which you are allergic. It is also useful to determine your blood type (A, B, A/B or O) and follow the Eat Right For Your Type Diet. The other items to consider is to only eat foods that do not promote the development of yeast. I incorporated all of these aproaches as well as others (healthy fats & oils from food) and mineral water with high calcium content and I got better afetr 25 years of suffering. I only consume food and water (no supplements, vitamins, etc) to get the required complement of vitamins and minerals. I do not trust what industry does to our food and drug supply, including vitamin fortified foodstuffs.

    Good Luck on your recover!