My thoughts

Discussion in 'Fibromyalgia Main Forum' started by kaymac, Nov 15, 2005.

  1. kaymac

    kaymac New Member

    My thoughts this past week are all focused on getting better. What can I do? How do I do it? Why Me? What will I be like in 2 years? I am so tired of feeling sick and tired. My family and friends carry on without me. I am left out of so much. Your own family that loves you CANNOT possibly really understand this dear FM! I get tired of explaining myself and people NOT understanding my limitations. I feel as if others really think I am just lazy and love to lay on my couch in the evenings. When in fact I am merely exhausted from working 10 hours and just being in the world completely wipes me out to the fact I need to lay down and REST! I crave sleep and get tired of having to explain to my friends that it is NOT easy for me to POP straight out of bed and get my kids to school and be at work 15 minutes early every stinking day! And why exactly do my friends and coworkers and family think I can spend an entire day at work, then a night out on the town and get up early Saturday morning and go to yard sales! Why must I keep explaining??? And just because I am overweight too doesn't mean that I sit more because I am LAZY, it is because sometimes it is easier to sit than to walk or stand. And sometimes it is easier to stand, but let me choose! I can change my mind. My body is different.
    And don't let me hear one more person say "Oh, fibromyalgia, I had that once...you just need to EXERCISE!!!!" grrrrrrrr
    I am just so weary of all of this and these thoughts have been on my mind, night and day for a week. My mother recently passed away and father....all within 6 months. We have moved and my life has totally changed. My MOTHER would listen to me and NOT judge.....I miss her....but I want to be better now...I need to feel better. I am dragging through each day. I have a huge weight around my neck and it is all I can do to make it through work each day, and then there is your common housework???? I cannot clean one room on the weekend without being totally exhausted...there has to be a better way....

    kaymac
  2. jaltair

    jaltair New Member

    Kaymac,

    I'm so sorry that you have had to go through such horrible things over these past months! No wonder you are feeling so badly. You have every reason to feel the way you do Kaymac. I wish that I were there for you to sit with and talk to, or even to watch the kids while you could get some rest or have some fun.

    You are in my thoughts and prayers.

    Warm hugs, Jeannette
  3. PVLady

    PVLady New Member

    I want to tell you I went through several years (over 10)of the bad pain and exhaustion. In the last couple of year I have gotten alot better. Most of my improvement was from reducing stress and getting over feeling guilty for taking care of myself. Don't assume you will never get better, please.

    Losing your parents in the last six months is terrible for anyone to cope with, let alone for someone with our condition. You will not get over that soon and chances are you are depressed.

    It might be very good to think about going for "cognitive" therapy. You can read about it on the internet. If you can find someone who has worked with fibro/cfs patients that would be great.

    As respects to people/friends/family who do not understand your limitations, you need to try very hard to change the way you are reacting to them. You cannot change them, but you can change how you think and react to them. You deserve to take care of yourself without feeling guilty.

    Hire a housekeeper to help with the housework and laundry. It is not that expensive and well worth the money.

    Sometimes it take drastic changes in order to get better but it can happen.

  4. kaymac

    kaymac New Member

    Yes, I do need a housekeeper. I have had one before. I just go a little lost the past year. I had way too much on my plate. I moved in and cared for my mother the past 6 months after my dad died. I left my 2 older boys and me and my hubby and youngest son moved in. I worked full time and arranged care for her. I went nowhere other than work and lost lots of sleep. I don't regret it, but putting myself on back burner and my house and family, left me lost. I'm finding my way back, caring for me again and Yes, I need to change how I react to others, because I know I can't change them. We are all human and I know some cannot be as understanding and sympathetic as others. It just was overwhelming. I have a good friend with FM, who has moved out of state. So I was feeling lonely. You tend to get that way when you sit back and the world carries on without you. I know this board understands and I know I can find understanding here. Thank you for your replies.

    kaymac