My Visit to the Psychologist..some humour

Discussion in 'Fibromyalgia Main Forum' started by slowdreamer, May 28, 2010.

  1. slowdreamer

    slowdreamer New Member

    First phone call quite good, seemed to understand why I don't go out at night, seemed to understand how sorting emotional disorders doesn't cure and said very sympathetically..."You are all so hypersensitive"

    First thing I was shown a chair which was unsuitable for my back injury..Lady took a lot of convincing that her beautiful red velvet chair waould have me at the osteopath..Meanwhile clock is ticking 2.50 In Oz dollars per minute.

    Meaningful looks, eyes to the ceiling and off she went like a billy cart...Its all in the midbrain..the belief centre...,the immune system has a memory and we must change the memory..The hyped up nervous and immune system comes from patterns of early childhood..not enough hugs or something???

    Still hadn't been asked what issues I wanted help with.

    Heard all about the Medical Model and how hers is different.??? apparently..the model seemed to be
    sit there and shut up and I will tell you what's wrong..I will raise your awareness of your situation..problem???

    Woman works in Pain Management..has written a textbook no less..How unresolved grief leads to chronic pain..possibly true but what's it got to do with a happy healthy person who has never been the same since catching a virus in 1975.

    Some crossovers which were relevant..e.g. stress makes things worse, depression can make it worse but the real clincher......the instruction of the stupid client went on for 1 1/2 hours.
    and I was in melted brain land...clinical psychologist hadnt noticed because the lack of stamina was not in her hypotheses.

    Time to pay and the fog had descended well and truly .I couldn't figure out the right amount to pay her. Therapist really noticed I had gone missing at this point and leapt in to help.

    Finally I was given some pearls of wisdom to take home

    I need to get a dog.
    I need to watch what I details
    I need to go out and get some smelly synthetic bear to take to bed. to address my isolation issues..and the effects of not enough childhood hugs.

    Well I needed 3 days of bedrest and isolation to recover from my helpful encounter???
    I am o'kay now just need to remember to avoid referring GP and herself.

  2. bigmama2

    bigmama2 New Member


    i dont know whether to laugh or cry at your story!!! maybe both! that psych sounds like a real genius - not! you are kidding about the bear thing right?

    here's a sort of similar story to yours---

    a close friend of mine who had SEVERE CFS saw a new psychologist. the shrink kept telling him things like "well, you just have to try harder- if you feel to exhausted to shower- just TRY HARDER and just do it. if you are to tired to get out of bed, just TRY HARDER, and just do it! if you are too tired to work full time, just TRY HARDER AND JUST DO IT, etc, etc" this went on for a while, and finally the shrink stopped babbling and waited for my friend to respond. he was so frustrated and shocked by her stupidity that he couldnt say a word. so they both sat there in total silence, just looking at each other, for like 5 minutes. awkward!!!!

    finally the shrink said "well, what do you think of this?", and my friend just totally LOST IT!!! and started laughing hysterically. in her face. he could not stop laughing. the kind of laugh when you have lost your mind from frustration etc. not a funny laugh. the shrink was totally freaked out and probably offended. needless to say, their shrink/patient relationship never really worked out.

    i thought that story was reallly terrible and really funny all at the same time!


    (ps- no offense to the good ingtelligent and helpful mental health workers out there)
  3. Misfit101

    Misfit101 New Member

    I literally LMAO'ed at your story AW. Read it to dh and he laughed too. My eyes are nose is running...and my guts killing me. I so understand the frustrations of a lifetine. Remember the saying long ago "im mad as he@@ and im not going to take it anymore!" it was suggested i see a psych. So i did. This man had a very confrontational approach. Doesnt work for me. And never mind the constant interruptions from the staff. He poo-pooed away every point i tried to make. At one point he screamed at me "well what are you going to do about it!!" i got up and left wo another word. I KNOW there are wonderful and dedicated psychs out there. I wouldnt put him in that category. Oh the things were forced to put ourselves thru.
  4. victoria

    victoria New Member

    laughing and yet feeling sorry that people have to put up with such idiotas!

    I've mentioned my DH was a psychologist... most MDs didn't like him because he ferreted those out with the real physical problems and no psychological problems that they (MDs) couldn't figure out and told them to keep looking for answers.

    Which of course never made any MDs happy, because guess what, these people DID eventually find physiological reasons for their symptoms. Worst embarass-ment for one neurologist was someone actually had a broken foot, never x-rayed, told it was psychosomatic and sent to my DH! DH was told by neuro that it was wrong (well actually that it was in 'bad taste) for him to have sent the pt to a podiatrist!

    I love what you did AW & Misfit, and that's what EVERYONE should do when "rapport has been irretrievably broken"! NOBODY should put on their "best face" when they see any doctor...

  5. slowdreamer

    slowdreamer New Member

    Am wrapped that I am getting some laughs..Has made my day.

    Just to be serious for a tick...many good compassionate psychologists out there but we are not easy to deal with I think, given all the muddlements as Victoria was alluding to. I can see how your husbands work would be so valuable Victoria. with his inside knowledge
    Our condition doesn't translate into the clinical situation very well which is my main point I think.It is rare to find a therapist with any insight unless they Have very direct experience of the condition. Peer recommendations and endless degrees are not enough.

    Anyway I am over serious ..Thanks for your funny story Big Mama2. i enjoyed it.
    Thankyou all for your responses.
    The laughing one

    [This Message was Edited on 05/29/2010]
  6. Misfit101

    Misfit101 New Member

    Victoria mentioned putting on our best face when we see our health or mental care providers. Why the heck do we do that? A myriad of reasons no doubt. My dr remarked that shed never seen me in that kind of pain before. I kept my big fat mouth shut on that one. BUT...if she had seen me on the manymanymany times id been in that kind of pain before...would she have taken me seriously? Dont think so. Shed have probably thought i was drug seeking or had emo issues. And id have been discharged like the rest of most of her chronic pain ppl. I just sucked it up and waited for it to pass. I might be selling her short but i wasnt willing to risk it.
  7. hollie9

    hollie9 New Member

    I have to stand up for my fantastic psychologist who didn't give me any of this treatment...mainly because her husband had CFS.

    When I came down with it she called her husband to ask what was the CFS medication "cocktail" that he used. I quickly was on doxepin/klonopin/ambien. She totally understands CFS and gave me a lot of insight into what it is like to be the partner of a CFS person....lots of times when he just couldn't show up so she learned to go it alone and find friends to go out with. She was disappointed but learned to live with it. This went a long way teaching my dh how to live with me.

    I guess we all need to find a shrink who has some real experience with this DD.

  8. victoria

    victoria New Member

    Psychologists/therapists may not believe you - and you may not even realize it unles you get to see the notes (rare). Those that do are rare, I've known personally too many. I know they're out there, just think it takes a while to probably find one that you 'click' with and is helpful.

    From personal experience, outside of a very few, 2 of the best psychologists we knew who were really good with chronic illness patients were people who had a chronic problems themselves: one had had Crohn's and other problems since he was 19 or so. The other had major back and pain problems most of his life also. Despite the fact that these 2 were able to carry on pretty well until their late 50s/60s, they knew the difficulties and were sympathetic to others. The only reason they could carry on was it gave meaning to their lives to help others.

    I think there's a difference between putting on one's "best face" and "whining", personally. I saw too many chronic pain pts of DHs who just did not have ANY very "good" days when compared to normals. I also know too many who have gone to MDs and psychologists AND SSD HEARINGS dressed up, rested up etc. One should just go however one feels that day especially if they have an ongoing relationship with a doctor of any kind and let them see the ups and downs.

    [This Message was Edited on 05/29/2010]
  9. rocky76

    rocky76 Member

    Maybe she got her degree on the internet...
  10. victoria

    victoria New Member

    could be... wonder if they can do internships online too, thru emails or chat?
  11. simonedb

    simonedb Member

    slowdreamer, I didnt catch if you said you have to go this person? I mean did you voluntarily do this or is it for disability?
    That is so lame, I sure hope you won't go back if you dont have to, of course there is the catch 22 if you argue then you are "defensive" and "oppositional".

    That is such bad practice for her to lecture you like that, it is not state of the art at all, even the cbt and "motivational interviewing" know better than that, they tryto get you on board and do reflections and help you find goals of your own constructing.
    She is a poor practitioner, outdated and dangerous.......

    I swear, I am going to hang onto my social work credentials and start a practice based on fact around cfs/fm and write up something that I can send to people in yr position so you can say well actually, another "expert" says this about it and its based on the most current research.
  12. quanked

    quanked Member

    Always a bad sign when the helper will not listen to the helpee ; )

    I have been pretty fortunate I suppose. I have had physical md's who could not keep their mouths shut about themselves or their opinions but most of the therapists I have seen have been good listeners. A good therapist does not talk much.

    If I want to be told stuff I read a good self-help book and even those do not get far with me if they are preachy and assume they know just what the reader needs.

    It was in a therapist's office where I finally felt like I was heard for the first time. It was a life changing experience.

    This particular therapist was an M.S.W.--she had a master's degree in social work. Their education is unique compared to other similar professions. I aquired an M.S.W. myself.

    I decided, for myself, that therapy for these dd's was pointless. I tried a handful of times but it was of no use. I already new what I needed to do. The point was I could not do most of what I needed to do. It was odd to sit in the therapist's office and listen to her tell me what I would tell someone else in my shoes.

    Now, years later, I see what I needed then and now was/is practical help with the daily tasks of living that are not getting done that lead me to feel worse and more out of control and helpless than I already feel. However, I have learned that the world does not stop spinning when I do not take a shower for days, I do not do my laundry for 2 weeks, when the house gets so dirty that someone might say--boy, is she a bad housekeeper--and when i do not accomplish all my errands when I head to town and so much more. I do not like living this way but amazingly life goes on.

    Being continually tired and feeling sick a good deal of the time and memory problems and all that comes with these dd's present some challenges that may not be able to be satisfactorily be met without some effective treatments. At least if one is terminal (and I am not saying I want to be but there are days when I wonder what the point is) there is some kind resolution. These dd's have created a land of limbo for me without any obvious escape.

    I could create a good plan to meet many of the needs of people in my shoes. The only thing is that these kinds of services are not necessarily out there and the ones that are are unaffordable for most. A good social worker, in such a situation, is suppose to go out and create the services to meet the needs of their clients but this social worker is too tired. Gawd, how I loved social work! The term "natural helpers" come to mind--these helpers are free but with these dd's these helpers would burn out quickly. And, from what I read on here and what I see in in my own personal life, friends and family are not as helpful as we might hope.

    Psychologists, to me, are the ones who do the testing--at least that is how it worked when I was working. I know some practice therapy but I am not sure that I have ever seen one for therapy. If you think that there is something to be gained by talk therapy (and I love talk therapy and it can be very helpful for a range of different things if you find the right fit) then perhaps you might consider researching some therapy providers in your area. A therapist versed in women's issues, someone who is involved personally in social activism, someone with a sliding fee, a feminist (not a liberal feminist--too surfacy and mainstream), someone who is able to listen and other kinds of qualities that might be of use to you. But my list is more about my needs than yours.

    While one might think that empathy would be a quality that is possessed by all therapists clearly your experience indicates that this may not be the case. With these dd's I think that finding someone who could feel empathy for us would be a wonderful experience. Heaven knows that we do not find it in most of our families or friends or health care providers. Empathy would be such a validation.

    On some levels your narrative is amusing--I can envision this scene played out in a film or a tv program--the needy client meets the self-absorbed psychologist who charges an arm and a leg for her time and "profound" words of wisdom. EEEEEKKKKKKKKKKK! Good thing you have a sense of humour.

    Think of how many hours of house cleaning you could have paid for--or how many massages on the funds you spent on this woman.

    I think I have begun to ramble.