MY weekend of "HORROR"

Discussion in 'Chit Chat' started by doxygirl, Oct 21, 2007.

  1. doxygirl

    doxygirl New Member

    About two months ago I offered my friend and his wife to babysit for a weekend since they were having some marital problems .......I wanted to do this out of the kindness of my heart hoping a weekend away without thier kids would help them do some bonding..........

    well, it was his wifes BD this weekend so we set it up as a surprise ( his wife knew nothing until 2 hours before they were to leave ).........................anyhow......I got there Friday afternoon and we went over everything with a find tooth comb in regards to the boys schedules .....bedtime....etc, etc.....

    one of the things we elaborated on was how we mutully felt that the boys needed to be watched every second they are out playing in front of the house.......his wife also pointed out a car that she had recently seen driving by and looking at her boys playing.............and asked me to keep an eye out for that particular vehicle........

    I reassured both of them that I would watch the boys at all times when they were out front...........

    so off they went .....for their special weekend away......feeling like their boys were in the best of care........ and the first day went problems at all......:)

    the second day I almost died when at 6am the cute little boys woke me up for their day.....Iam a night person and never get up until the day was already at a bad start for me...........but I put a smile on my face and showed the boys I was happy to be there with them.......anyway!

    I had to get a 2 and 4 year old fed and dressed and to a 9am soccer game......for others this may sound simple enough but I was so tired that by the time I had the boys loaded in their car seats I was so tired I wanted to die!

    But we made it to the soccer game......then when we got home the boys wanted to ride their bikes in front of their house so I told them that they could ride until we had to go to lunch at McDonalds they started riding their bikes...... they were staying nicely within the perimiters set up for I started taking the stuff out of the car from the soccer game....the car was parked right in the driveway so I was right there!

    Anyhow,..... I got a few things out of the car.......went in the garage to throw away an empty water bottle....and walked right back out and to my HORROR the boys were gone.....I turned my back for a split second at the most............

    I immediately looked in the neighbors yard since the bushes kind of blocked my view and I thought they were hiding.....but NO I went to the corner which was only three houses in the other direction......and STILL.... "NO BOYS"!!!!!!............

    I was becoming frantic thinking that the suspicious car the wife had mentioned to me had in that split second grabbed the boys....

    I ran in the house and got my son ( who had come with me ) and told him I needed his help......I also grabbed the car keys......

    I had my son stand in front of the house while I got in the car.....I started driving down the street and when I got about 13 houses away from their house I saw a man walking with the boys as if he was directing them home......and as I was trying to put my heart back into my cell phone rings and it is the my friends ( the parents)

    I could hear the frantic in his voice( the Dad).....saying" Doxy our neighbors just called and said the boys are down at the other end of the street.............and I just wanted to CRY!!!!!!!!!!

    I tried to explain that I was right out there in front with the boys and had only gone in the garage to throw away an empty water bottle that took a second ........

    I was realizing that while I assumed the boys had went in one direction and went looking that reality they were heading in the other direction and that is why I did not see them .................

    I could tell my friends were upset but they were not mean to me just upset......we finally hung up and then within three minutes they called me back and told me that they boys could not be out in the front of their yard the rest of the weekend....

    they told me that the 4 year old ( almost 5 ) knows clearly the rules of how far he is allowed to go and they felt that he was taking advantage of running off like that.............

    but Iam an adult and no matter what I should NOT have taken my eyes off of the boys for that split second PERIOD.....because "LOOK WHAT HAPPENED"!!!!!!!!!!!

    I was so upset the rest of the day.....finally by night time I was crying........I just felt so bad............

    then all day today which was the third day of babysitting the boys for me.......they were fighting.......the youngest one was sick and cried over everything and the oldest one was only adding to this by teasing the youngest one................I was NOT feeling good at all ........fibro was kicking in full blast.....

    the parents finally called me and told me they were so thankful for me watching the boys and they wanted me to know that they were not upset with me they understand things like this happen they know Iam a good person etc etc.....they told me they would be home in about an hour..........

    I was so ready to go home and was elated they were on their way...... but less than five minutes later the phone rings again......... and this time it was my friends father and he likes me so he started talking to me and asking me lots of questions since I haven't talked to him for a long time.............

    while I was talking to him the boys got into a paint set I was trying to talk to the father and keep them in line but the little one kept crying I walked into the kitchen to tell the father I had to go and that I would call him back when I could talk since the boys were painting and crying etc......

    so while I was in the kitchen for that few seconds the boys got the paint set and dumped it all over the floor......... I started to clean up the paint ( which was non staining ) the boys then got the pump soap out of the bathroom and started pumping soap all over the place..........

    "OK" I am going to lose it right about when the parents finally pulled in the driveway....I walked out with a smile but kind of screamed in a funny way like I was going crazy......

    I explained how the father called and the boys spilled the paint and I was trying to scrub it up......and how the liitle one was crying the entire time.........and pumped the soap while I was cleaning up paint...............

    I think they could see I was overwhelmed......but once again I brought up the incident of the boys going off on their bikes and I apoligized profusely......they assured me they understood and did not think bad of me for it......

    but still I feel irresponsible for it...... no matter what they say....I was the adult and I should not have let them out of my sight for one split second...........

    I just needed to vent......this weekend was too much for me.......and don't think I will ever offer to watch two small children ever again by myself......but Iam so glad it did do it for my friends because they both came back with BIG smiles on their faces which it why I offered in the first place!:)

    Thanks for listening.......I needed to talk about this since Iam still reeling with emotion from it.........

  2. 69mach1

    69mach1 New Member

    only put them in the back yard...i assume it is fenced in area. so you had your high alert up already from the get go.

    i had a rule for my son w/out a high alert i was only outside w/cody all the time...too many weirdos..can you believe that i would watch my 16 year old walk across the street to go to the gas station just to buy something...whom was much taller and bigger for most kids his age. for fear of something happening.

    kids spill paints and such that is so normal...the taunting by the older child is normal and they were testing your boundries.

    you gave it your best and you really could do not si { much to change how things happen. kids are kids.


    [This Message was Edited on 10/22/2007]
  3. rockgor

    rockgor Well-Known Member

    That was so nice of you to volunteer to help your friends. Sometimes it's hard to remember all the things we can no longer do.

    I hope the kitchen wasn't carpeted.

  4. jens2angels

    jens2angels New Member

    What you have just described sounds like a day at my house on a daily basis. Only because I have a 4 and 2 year old and they will pick, fight, make a mess, make another mess while you are cleaning up the one they just made, my son likes to run naked out the front door every chance he can get.

    It's a hard job, especially for children that aren't your own.
  5. Rafiki

    Rafiki New Member

    You gave those parents such a wonderful gift! I think that kinda got lost in that moment of panic when the boys took off on their adventure.

    You know that parenting little kids is a series of moments of complete terror. You know that the very reason their mom said you can't take your eyes off them is because whenever she takes her eyes off them they go on an adventure with a pump bottle of hand soap!

    What you gave them was so generous! Even the fact that so many things "went wrong", just like they always do, must have been so helpful for them.

    If they're having problems and they've got two little boys you can bet that one of the areas of contention is just how hard it is to look after two little boys! You came out of the house screaming... what better proof that what they are doing is, legitimately, incredibly hard.

    I couldn't do what you did! I am really impressed with your kindness. It would be so good if you could see that everything that happened was so useful for this couple! If you could do it without difficulty or crisis they would wonder why it was so hard and so exhausting for them.

    You did good! You did really, really good!

    You should be proud of yourself!

    Peace out,

    [This Message was Edited on 10/22/2007]
  6. mollystwin

    mollystwin New Member

    Wow. I would never have been able to do what you did!! Even just one child for an entire weekend would have done me in!! You should congratulation yourself on a job well done!!

    The kids were most likely acting up on the last day because they missed thier parents. And I think everyone of us has misplaced a child for a few minutes at one point or another, please don't be hard on yourself!!

    I watch my 4 year old granddaughter at times, but never more than a day. And my hubby is usually there to help. You did a great thing! Be proud!

  7. 4everkid

    4everkid New Member

    Poor Doxy. This was like a flashback for me, of when my boys were 2 and 4. This is probably how life is everyday at that house, and one reason why the parents needed a break. I'm sure they really don't think any less of you because they have been dealing with this themselves since #2 started walking.

    Fact: 2 year olds have no sense of fear. Scary neighbor guy doesn't register as a threat to the mind of the little one. Kids this age also have microscopic attention spans and memories.

    I agree that the parents should have instructed that the kids remain inside or in the back yard (if fenced). A pair of boys aged 2 & 4 are a big job for anyone. Even if they had been contained in a refrigerator box to play, they still would have found SOME way to make a mess of things.

    You did a good job in an impossible situation. I was too old to be doing this job, and I was in my 20's then. A year after I had my third child, I was diagnosed with FM. I truly believe that being a stay-at-home mom with 3 kids under 5 was the traumatic event that triggered my FM. There are few things more stressful than a batch of tots driving you insane on a daily basis.

    You did a great job! Yeah, you blinked and they escaped for 10 seconds, but it turned out ok in the end. No harm done. Carpet stains are expected, and part of the package with toddlers. The only real damage done was to your stress level. You will probably feel like crap for several days, at least.

    So focus on just how happy you made this couple. You gave them a great weekend away from the stress. They may not admit that this is typical daily behavior for these kids, but believe is. And they needed a break from it. YOU are the one who gave them that much needed break.

    If you ever consider doing this again, you might think about having them come to your house. Kids that age always behave better in foreign territory.
  8. Rafiki

    Rafiki New Member

    Don't do it again!!!

    Unless you're bucking for sainthood 0:~)


  9. Rosiebud

    Rosiebud New Member

    a weekend is far to long........maybe a few hours....well at least your friends really appreciated you and so they should.

  10. victoria

    victoria New Member

    I hope you're calming down by now and feeling better. Your friends sound like they know how hard it is/can be... and probably appreciate you all the more that you did this for them with all your own problems. They will probably remember how wonderful this weekend was far more than anything negative... as the years go by!

    But you got good advice above... from now on I probably wouldn't volunteer more than a day either, if I were you ... well, maybe make than an evening LOL!

    all the best
  11. doxygirl

    doxygirl New Member

    Thanking me for taking such good care of their boys.......they told me it was obvious that took very good care of the boys and that the boys enjoyed very much me being there..............( the little tirants LOL )

    I apologized so many times and I know that they could see the sincere remorse from me I actually think they forgive me for what happened........

    "HOWEVER"......I do not ever want to do it again "EVER" proved to me that it is just too much for being in a home that is not mine made it even harder............

    Iam just happy that they know Iam sorry and that they appreciate my efforts in them being able to have a weekend alone together!;)

    Just wanted to share that with you! ;)