My wife suffers from Fibromyalgia, how can I help her?

Discussion in 'Fibromyalgia and ME & Chronic Fatigue Syndrome' started by Ernie5552, Jan 22, 2007.

  1. IowaMorningGlory

    IowaMorningGlory New Member

    Ernie you and your wife have something very special that so many of us crave. Keep up the wonderful life.

    Sleep I think is one of the most important things, and I think you hit the nail on the head.

    Someone suggested the Sleep Study..this would be a good idea to mention to your physician. My first one I did right at home and then they read the results when I took the equipment back. The second I did at the hospital, but it was the local hospitals therapy dept. that did it and the specialist read it afterwards. It made things so very easy and relaxing this way.

    Next, delta wave music with a cd player or mp3 player to listen to at bedtime. It helps to reach Delta level sleep, or stage 4 that FM suffers have a hard time reaching. You can order the cds off of this site, or even download the music from some places like itunes right away.

    Lavender in the pillowcase or just the light smell of lavender scent on the pillowcase helps with sleep also.

    I like to snuggle in where it is warm so my muscles can relax right away and not tense up from a cold bed so I use a mattress heater pad to lay on and only have it on low. I warm it up before I go to bed and then the blankets are just warm too.

    I also have an electric throw I use over the back of my chair I sit in in our living room. I keep it on medium and that way it helps to relax my muscles when I am sitting in my chair too. (Much better than a heating pad because it covers more area on my back and shoulders)

    I also drink a warm milk or chamomile tea before bed. Both help me to relax.

    For sedation I use Lorazepam, but on occasionally as it still makes me too tired the next day.

    I hope these things help and you are a wonderful husband to provide so much caring.

    Thank you and Kitten Hugs to both you and your wife,
    Blessed Be,
    Laurie :)
  2. kel589

    kel589 New Member

    Thank you so much for asking for advice.today is my birthday and I asked my husband to read this,It has helped him and I both to learn new info and to know were not alone.My husband has tried hard to be helpful. I am on my second year of having fibromyalgia.sleep md has helped me sleep.I found it at walgreens.Its all natural.I am sure they have something here thats all natural for sleep also.thanks agian ,take care .
  3. buffyr

    buffyr New Member

    Ernie, how great to hear that you're there for your wife. The only thing I would say is that when she crabs at you, it's the pain, not her, talking. This is a very hard disease to live with. I have fibro and also panic attacks as you metioned. I just started treatment for the panic as I refused to take antidepressents until now. Now it got so bad I thought I couldn't breathe and it didn't go away for over a week. can't ignore it anymore. My husband has never taken an interest in reading or researching my fibro. That really hurts, makes it seem like he doesn't care. that you are interested is the greatest thing you can do for your wife. Just remember this is something she'll likely deal with the rest of her life, so don't burn out on her. Best of wishes to you and your wife!!!
  4. Ernie5552

    Ernie5552 New Member

    In response tobuffyr's post I am not a hero not by any means. I simply love my wife with all of my life and am doing the best I can to make it as easy as possible for her to cope with her Fibromyalgia and to be as understanding as I can be. I've made many mistakes through our marriage. There was a long period when I didn't try to understand her thyroid problem, and the Fibromyalgia. I was going through my own personal hell with my xanax addiction and totally ignore her health issues and her emotional needs. It's only been a few months that I've made a huge turnaround. Now my wife is the most important person in my life. I know the xanax addiction had a lot to do with my uncaring attitude but I'd be a liar and a fool if I blamed my lack of empathy for her health issues, and her emotional needs completly on my addiction. I thank God I woke up and realized how much I love her and my goal is to make her feel as comforable as I possibly can, and to show how much I really do love her. To anyone who has a spouse with any illness, my advice to you is not to make the same mistake as I did by putting my health issues first before my wife's. I know the mistakes I made hurt her deeply, but we are making progress. It takes time. So my advice to everyone is take care of your health yes, by all means. But don't ignore your loved one's health issues an most importantly, don't Ever be selfish do Not ignore his or her Emotional needs because emotional and physical health go hand in hand. Love goes a long way towards not only a happy life together but also a healthy life together too. Love your man or your lady with all your heart. You can't cure your loved one's illnesses, but it makes much easy to deal with. Thanks all, and I'll be in from time to time to ask more questions as they arise, and to try to be of whatever help I can be for others. keep up the good fight! :)
    [This Message was Edited on 01/26/2007]
    katkarina likes this.
  5. rolyn

    rolyn Member

    hi my name is rolyn.And i have now clue as to what my wife is going thew and i have not put her needs before mine.I have been looking at different sites today to try and understand what she is going thew.I still dont completly understand but i know i wont to because my wife is my world she is the most important person in my life.I know i wouldnt have any of the things we have if not for her what can i do to help her thew is and make her fell more comf.and ernie i hope that i to can be the husband that you are to your wife.
    katkarina likes this.
  6. IanH

    IanH Active Member

    Hi Rolyn
    I am sorry to hear of your wife's illness. Has she been diagnosed with Fibromyalgia or Chronic Fatigue Syndrome or both?
    These illnesses are an absolute curse because there is no cure and the treatments only help to reduce some of the symptoms. Generally doctors know little about the illness because research is often not "translated" for them to understand, so they often assume the illnesses are psychological or just in the person's mind. Of course the research says it is definitely not. These illnesses show up immune system and nervous system problems which affect many of the body's systems. The symptoms vary from one person to the next but all people with these illnesses have very low energy, often much pain all over their body. Because the immune system is not functioning properly the symptoms can vary widely. Like Multiple Sclerosis the symptoms go up and down with no clear pattern.

    Aside from a cure what most patients want most of all is understanding and you seem to be committed to that. I do congratulate you, for even understanding can be quite hard to do. All the best to you both.
  7. tig519

    tig519 Member

    Ernie,

    You're a great partner! Keep up the loving, caring and supportive approach you have been.

    I switched my diet to as much organic foods as possible. Definitely avoid processed foods. Vitamin D is generally a deficiency in most patients. I have to inject B12 each month, but that is not directly related to FMS, it's due to what PPI (for GERD) did to my stomach's ability to absorb B12. I've seen others have some blood test results that require other supplements as well, like magnesium. She may want to ask her doctor to do a full blood workup if she hasn't already.

    You didn't say if she takes anything currently for any of the symptoms. I also work a full time position and a mix of meds help me to do that. I believe everyone is different, so what works for one person may not work for another.

    For sleep- I take Ambien CR. Thankfully, my doctor will not cave to the monthly letters she gets from my prescription provider asking if I "really need" to take it. She knows how vital sleep is to my health. For a non-prescription, 3mg of melatonin works for some. For me, it made me feel a bit groggy in the morning. Having to be at work in the morning, that didn't work.

    For pain, I take Tramadol. I will also take Advil, but have GERD, so I can't take too much of the Advil. For some people Tramadol causes drowsiness. Except for the first day I took it, it actually feels like it gives me energy. Maybe it's because it helps the level of pain and that just makes you feel more energetic, don't know. I do know if I take past 3pm, I can't sleep (even with the Ambien). Although my doctor said it was quite odd... since then she has said more of her patients have mentioned the same. It does not cause any impairment for me.

    I also take Lyrica. Although it doesn't work as effectively as it did when I first starting taking. When I stopped taking (thinking it wasn't doing much good), I was a lot worse off. Of note for this med- it causes fogginess. I can't take it in the morning or while I'm at work. Although not exactly how it's intended to be taken, I take only in the evening. It works for me.

    Good luck to you both
  8. howess

    howess Member


    anyone heard of him?