NEED a GIFT for a GUY? Here's a helpful guide

Discussion in 'Chit Chat' started by victoria, Dec 2, 2009.

  1. victoria

    victoria New Member

    Buying gifts for men is not nearly as complicated as it is for women. Follow these rules and you should have no problems.

    Rule #1: When in doubt - buy him a cordless drill. It does not matter if he already has one. I have a friend who owns 17 and he has yet to complain. As a man, you can never have too many cordless drills. No one knows why.

    Rule #2: If you cannot afford a cordless drill, buy him anything with the word ratchet or socket in it. Men love saying those two words. "Hey George, can I borrow your ratchet?" "OK. Bye-the-way, are you through with my 3/8-inch socket yet?" Again, no one knows why.

    Rule #3: If you are really, really broke, buy him anything for his car. A 99-cent ice scraper, a small bottle of deicer or something to hang from his rear view mirror. Men love gifts for their cars. No one yet knows why.

    Rule #4: Do not buy men socks. Do not buy men ties. And never buy men bathrobes. I was told that if God had wanted men to wear bathrobes, he wouldn't have invented Jockey shorts.

    Rule #5: You can buy men new remote controls to replace the ones they have worn out. If you have a lot of money buy your man a big-screen TV with the little picture in the corner. Watch him go wild as he flips, and flips, and flips.

    Rule #6: Do not buy a man any of those fancy liqueurs. If you do, it will sit in a cupboard for 23 years. Real men drink whiskey or beer.

    Rule #7: Do not buy any man industrial-sized canisters of after shave or deodorant. I'm told they do not stink - they are earthy.

    Rule #8: Buy men label makers. Almost as good as cordless drills. Within a couple of weeks there will be labels absolutely everywhere. "Socks. Shorts. Cups. Saucers. Door. Lock. Sink." You get the idea. No one but them, maybe, knows why.

    Rule #9: Never buy a man anything that says "some assembly required" on the box. It will ruin his Special Day and he will always have parts left over.

    Rule #10: Good places to shop for men include Northwest Iron Works, Parr Lumber, Home Depot, John Deere, Valley RV Center, and Les Schwab Tire. NAPA Auto Parts and Sear's Clearance Centers are also excellent men's stores. It doesn't matter if he doesn't know what it is. "From NAPA Auto, eh? Must be something I need. Hey! Isn't this a starter for a '68 Ford Fairlane? Wow! Thanks.")

    Rule #11: Men enjoy danger. That's why they never cook - but they will barbecue. Get him a monster barbecue with a 100-pound propane tank. Tell him the gas line leaks. "Oh the thrill! The challenge! Who wants a hamburger?"

    Rule #12: Tickets to a Red Wing/Lions/Pistons/Tigers game are a smart gift. However, he will not appreciate tickets to "A Retrospective of 19th Century Quilts." Everyone knows why.

    Rule #13: Men love chain saws. Never, ever, buy a man you love a chain saw. If you don't know why - please refer to Rule #8 and what happens when he gets a label maker.

    Rule #14: It's hard to beat a really good wheelbarrow or an aluminum extension ladder. Never buy a real man a step ladder. It must be an extension ladder. Again, no one knows why.

    Rule #15: Rope. Men love rope. It takes us back to our cowboy origins, or at least The Boy Scouts. Nothing says love like a hundred feet of 3/8" manilla rope. No one knows the why of this either.

    [This Message was Edited on 12/02/2009]
  2. rockgor

    rockgor Well-Known Member

    I feel sure many women will appreciate this informative post. And
    so will their men albeit indirectly.

    I read that some of the more up-scale stores are featuring the
    Maxi-Male Gift Package this year. Consists of:

    A claw hammer
    Large roll of duct tape
    6 Pack of beer (not lite)

    Extra TV remote
    Jar of beef jerky
    Magazines: Sports Illustrated; Car Digest: Playboy Magazine (pop-up edition).

  3. victoria

    victoria New Member

    LOL what would guys do without duct tape in particular???
    Have you heard the quote,

    "Duct tape is like the force:
    It has a light side, a dark side,
    and it holds the universe together....
    and spaceships too!"

    I was looking for a gift buying guide for women...
    but could only find what NOT to buy for any (or 99%) woman.

    That still leaves the guy in the dark tho....
    According to my DH, guys need specific suggestions!

    [This Message was Edited on 12/02/2009]
  4. gapsych

    gapsych New Member

    After several years of hinting that I wanted a cordless drill for mother's day, I finally went out and bought one. It is red and I have used it a lot. Sometimes I just sit and stare at it. Sometimes I forget to charge it.

    Did you know that if you pet them, they purr?
    Rock, you missed something for you "man bag". A swiss army knife, LOL

    My favorite gift to receive is money. I don't consider it tacky if someone wants to give me some!! You can never go wrong with money. That is for a lot of people.

    May the force of ducttape be at one with us all.

  5. spacee

    spacee Member

    is that I had known this stuff 30 years ago....:)

  6. jole

    jole Member

    For some reason my hubby is NEVER impressed with the shirts the kids give matter that he actually needs them!!

    I loved the spacee, I too wish I'd known many, many moons ago so I could have kept from having to return a few items..........

    Hubby, on the other hand, has always felt it his duty to buy me a nightgown every year for Christmas and birthdays, which I never could understand, since I never got to leave them on..(whoops, too much information :( )