Need a Hug

Discussion in 'Fibromyalgia Main Forum' started by kasilou, Mar 9, 2006.

  1. kasilou

    kasilou New Member

    Hi,

    I just read ma2alex's post and also today am feeling down.

    Returned from mini-vacation with my adult daughters and feel like venting. No one really understands FM unless you are in that persons body. My girls are good, caring people but I guess they just don,t understand the disease.

    On the trip I made alot of memory mistakes and said incorrect words, etc. which upsets me. Instead of just letting them go they found it necessary to kid me which brought me to tears.

    Everyday is painful and emotionally upsetting since I can't work and my lifestyle has really changed. My husband says that they are good kids and don't mean anything by their comments(just trying to be comic).

    But I'm not sure he really understands, when I walk downstairs its very difficult because of pain and weakness in hips and legs, and he asked whats wrong with you-so I'm not sure that he really understands.

    Anyway the vacation was not a vacation instead very upsetting to me. Thought that I would vent since I'm sure that you understand my pain of FM. Thank-uou for listening and hope I wasn't too depressing.
  2. kaiasmom

    kaiasmom New Member

    I do understand - there are very few people in my life that actually get it. My ex-husbands family is quite involved in our lives because of my daughter. But, despite my explanations, they don't understand.

    Only the people closest to me - mainly my fiance - really see what fibro does to me. I try to put on a happy face & carry on with life, but that is not a true representation of how I feel. I guess some people don't want to be bothered by things like fibro. Maybe it's easier for them to act like there's nothing wrong with you than aknowledge the pain you live with on a daily basis.

    I am so sorry your daughters made light of your problems. I often say the wrong word, and can't remember what I did 3 minutes ago. It can be very hurtful when people that are so close make fun of the hell we live with.

    I for one, do not enjoy saying the wrong word, or not being able to think of a word. But, it's something we have to deal with. Once my 7 year old step son said something trying to be funny when I said a word wrong & even though he is just 7 - it hurt. We can't control these things, just have to make the best of what we have.

    This is a great place to find the support we lack in our "real lives" - as we all understand - and we are here to help each other.

    Take care,

    Leanne
    ((((HUGS))))
  3. leomonkey

    leomonkey Member

    This illness sometimes requires resilience and vigilance that is difficult to maintain.

    Hugs to you.
  4. sally2142

    sally2142 New Member

    HUGS GO OUT TO YOU FROM ME. I ALSO HAVE TWO GIRLS THAT BASICALLY RESPOND IN THE SAME WAY YOURS DO. MY OLDEST IS MORE UNDERSTANDING BUT STILL POKES FUN AT ME. I REALLY THINK NEITHER GIRL WANTS TO ACCEPT THAT GOOD OL MOM ISN'T 100%, NOT OUT OF SELFISHNESS BUT BECAUSE THEY ARE SCARED AND DON'T KNOW HOW TO HANDLE IT. IT STILL HURTS NO MATTER WHAT THE REASON. I HAVE THE SAME PROBLEM WITH THE LEGS, HIPS, ETC. OH AND OF COURSE THE FIBRO FOG.

    I'M SITTING HER IN TEARS BECAUSE IT'S SO EMOTIONAL TO READ ABOUT YOU NOT BEING ABLE TO WORK AND YOUR LIFESTYLE CHANGES. I'M IN THE SAME BOAT. EVEN THOUGH YOU KNOW THERE ARE OTHERS OUT THERE WITH THE SAME CONDITION AND PROBLEMS, IT'S VERY, VERY HEART WRENCHING TO READ A MESSAGE AND THINK "THAT'S ME".

    I WISH I HAD ANSWERS OR BETTER YET A CURE TO HELP YOU. KNOW THAT YOU'RE BEING THOUGHT OF AND AN EMAIL HUG GOES OUT TO YOU.
  5. CinCA

    CinCA New Member

    (((((((((HHHHHHHHUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUGGGGGGGGGGGGG))))))))))))

    So sorry you are not doing well and did not have a good vacation. And it's sad that your family seems to be adding to your stress.

    I hope the coming weeks are better for you.
    C.
  6. Cromwell

    Cromwell New Member

    Was there anything that comes to mind that was nice about the vacation you could think about? I do this when I am down like this, I think well, yes, we had that nice meal, or walked that nice beach.

    It helps.
    Love Anne C
  7. Sheila1366

    Sheila1366 New Member

    I'm sure that vacation wasn't very relaxing for you.My husband has just now after 19 years learned to stop asking "what's wrong?".I had to turn 40 and get an attitude before he really heard me.Now he gets it most of the time.

    I get what you are saying so hang in there.They know not what they do,right.Atleast that is what I tell myself.I hate to think that family can't really grasp what is happening to me.

    HUGS,
    Sheila
  8. kch64

    kch64 New Member


    Here's another hug.

    K.
  9. ma2alex

    ma2alex New Member

    I can say, "You are not alone!" Since you read my post, you already know how I've been feeling, but the people here helped. It really does help to know that you're not alone out there, even though you might feel that way. I found it easier to blame my "forgetfulness" on a phrase my friends and I coined as "mommy brain". You might want to try it. You would be surprised, if you start using the phrase, it catches on. And it is a really good excuse when you don't want to be differnt from everyone else anymore. I always tell people, "I used to be so smart before I had my son". Just don't tell anyone my secret!
    Hugs again,
    Dawn
  10. ma2alex

    ma2alex New Member

    Sending one more as I am wanting to cry with you. I am so sorry that you hurt so much. I don't know if this will help, but the only that ever decreases my hip/leg pain is walking. It really hurts to get started, but eventually, it has made a huge difference to me. That and my memory foam mattress topper (I have posted about this before, but it really helps!). I used to dread laying down at night because my pain would intensify so much, but not since I got my memory foam. I got it from overstock.com for $100. Don't know if that is helpful, but I hope so.
    Hugs again,
    Dawn
  11. cathugs

    cathugs New Member

    many (((( hugs))) to all of you. no one really believes me about my pain either. i believe they think i enjoy
    taking hands full of pills every day, and having to hobble up and down my stairs with agonizing pain in my knees and
    hips.
    the only support i really have out side this board is
    my sister who is in worse shape than i am.
    some tomes the lonliness of my dds is almost as hard to deal with as the pain. getting the right words out when talking is a real problem for me too. more((( hugs))) from

    cathugs (ruth)
    [This Message was Edited on 03/14/2006]