Need advice, help...lost at this point.

Discussion in 'Fibromyalgia Main Forum' started by Quequay, May 1, 2006.

  1. Quequay

    Quequay New Member

    I have been trying to self help myself for over 4 years. I am currently seeing a great doctor and we are trying to find a way to manage the pain. My husband had a relapse with alcohol and almost killed himself so for the past two months I have been trying to run the house and work on his short term disablity. He is back at work and doing well. Me, is a totalaty different story. I am so tired and in such pain I can't stand it anymore. I feel so useless. My husband is greatful for eveything I did for him but I still feel so so useless. I have tried working outside the home and ended up worse. I started a business from home making cat collars, toys and beds but my hands are giving me so much trouble I haven't been able to do anything for months. I don't want to be all medicated up. Even when I am not my brain is so fuzzy that I don't trust myself outside, get hurt alot. I try to walk my dog every day even if I am in tears the whole time. My stupid subborness cost me the ability to claim disability because I was sure I was going to be fine and even if not I didn't want to take benifits from someone who really needs it, well now I am in a pickle because I do need it. I am trying so hard to be happy today and all I can do is cry. The only way I can describe the feeling is that of being lost.
    -Quequay
  2. jakeg

    jakeg New Member

    It's never to late to file for disability. Maybe it from your previous place of employment but not from the government.

    As long as your doctor believes that you are disabled and is willing to backup his diagnosis apply for ssdi. You will not be taking it away from someone who needs it, because you are taking it away from you by not applying.

    You have paid into it you should be able to collect it as long as you qualify.

    Take Care

    Jake
  3. EllenComstock

    EllenComstock New Member

    I just checked your bio and see that we have a lot in common. I, too, am an animal lover-especially cats. I have three cats. Like you, I have a newer cat. I got him after I lost one of my cats-Katie-late last November. I am so sorry about Daffney. It is so hard to say good-bye to them. Katie's death was very sudden. I was not at home at the time. My husband let her out on our porch, and when he checked on her ten minutes later, she was laying on the floor, dead. The vet did an autopsy and decided it was either a blood clot or an aeunrysm (sp?).
    I finally got a small stone made for her grave and put it up yesterday. Daffney looks a lot like one of my cats, Albert, who was a stray we took in several years ago.

    I also love art, but haven't done much with it. Like you, I have pain in my hands at times and I don't always have the energy. I also love gardening, but that is something that is a must-do for me. It's great therapy for me, but I have to be careful not to overdo. My husband does the heavy-duty yardwork that I can no longer do.

    I am so sorry for the hardships you and your husband have had. I'm glad that he is doing better and that you have found a good doctor. I, too, have finally found a good doctor after years of searching. My doctor has me on a lower dose of Kadian (morphine), which helps my sharp, shooting pains, but not the dully, achy pains. My worst area is the neck and right shoulder. It is bad all the time. I have never had problems with addiction. You might see if your doctor would be willing to prescribe Kadian.

    We do not have any children, either. We married later in life and I found out after we were married that I have endometriosis, which has left me infertile. I think it has turned out to be a blessing, as I cannot imagine trying to raise children now. I have a mentally ill brother that I am guardian for (both of my parents are deceased), but he has become too difficult for me to manage, and for the sake of my own health, I have to give up the guardianship. I am hoping it's final soon. My brother lives in a group home. I will still check on him, of course, but after years of being a caregiver to my mother and brother, it's time to concentrate solely on me.

    I am still able to work, but only part-time (morning). I work at a small college and have the summers off. So far it's working out well. I am sorry for the financial hardship you and your husband are having. You are creative trying to start a home business.

    Sorry this is so long. I wish I had more advice to help you with. I, too, have had years of trying to help myself (I actually diagnosed myself with endometriosis and FMS) after years of being misdiagnosed. I can relate to the feeling of being lost.

    Stay in contact with us. This message board has definitely helped me on my worst days.

    Ellen
  4. Quequay

    Quequay New Member

    I appreciate the quick replies. I am no longer eligible for disability. That was a depressing day when I got that letter. I am just trying to make it. I see my doctor wednesday and I will ask her about the medicine you are on. I try so hard to ignore the pain, hoping I would get used to it but that doesn't work. I am so sorry to hear about your kitty. I know how painful it is to lose them, they are part of the family. I am going to see if I can eat some lunch and try to make a plan to see what I can do. Thank you again for responding, am alone today so it is nice to know someone is there.
    -Quequay