Need advice ...my wife has Fibromyalgia and Arthritis

Discussion in 'Fibromyalgia Main Forum' started by chip1, Oct 1, 2002.

  1. chip1

    chip1 New Member

    Hi!
    I need some advice. My wife and caregiver has Fibromyalgia and Arthritis. She is in lots of pain and must deal with it daily. It affects her in many different ways which also affects me.
    I love my wife dearly and would do anything for her. She is under good medical care and on medication. I have the early stages of Alzheimer's Disease and was diagnosed in 1997.We are only in our mid fifties Her plate is overflowing with not only her own conditions and pain, but with caring for me.
    What can I do to help my wife and make life a little more easy on her? As my stages increase, I worry about how I affect her.
    Chip Gerber, Satsuma, Florida
    s
  2. chip1

    chip1 New Member

    Hi!
    I need some advice. My wife and caregiver has Fibromyalgia and Arthritis. She is in lots of pain and must deal with it daily. It affects her in many different ways which also affects me.
    I love my wife dearly and would do anything for her. She is under good medical care and on medication. I have the early stages of Alzheimer's Disease and was diagnosed in 1997.We are only in our mid fifties Her plate is overflowing with not only her own conditions and pain, but with caring for me.
    What can I do to help my wife and make life a little more easy on her? As my stages increase, I worry about how I affect her.
    Chip Gerber, Satsuma, Florida
    s
  3. JP

    JP New Member

    Can you discuss this with your wife? Perhaps working together to problem solve would help. Sometimes it is difficult to ask for help or hire help from others. It might make a difference for both of you if you can. Some type of plan may ease the stress somewhat.

    I have a housekeeper twice a month. It is hard to justify when I am home full time and it really helps me. I also prepare one or two easy dinner meals a week, a few nice meals, and we go out one night a week. Having some sort of plan helps me a great deal.

    I wish I could say more or take away your concerns and conditions.

    Take care,
    Jan
  4. poodlegirl

    poodlegirl New Member

    My heart goes out to you and your wife. I also applaud you both for your courage and love for each other and the desire to take care of each other. You both do have your plates full, not only in the care you are giving to one another, but in your own individual health. I would also discuss how to make it easier for you and your wife together. Talk about things openly and honestly. Remember to tell her daily that you love her and appreciate her. This in itself would help her to feel your appreciation. As you said yourself, you worry about your increasing alzheimer's, so tell her you love her and show her now while you both can still enjoy each other. I don't know alot about your disease, and FM affects different people in different ways. Her arthritis, too, can be difficult. I would just suggest an open discussion together and maybe try to discuss with any children you have, what and how they can play a role in helping you both out. Also if you have a preacher or a minister, prayer definately can ease both the physical and emotional side of your burdens. Best of luck to you both, you'll be in my thoughts and prayers!
    [This Message was Edited on 10/01/2002]
  5. pepper

    pepper New Member

    My heart aches for both of you. My husband and I are in our mid-50's as well. I do not know how to make life easier - this is a rough road for both of you.

    One thing I do know is that she needs to know she is loved and appreciated. Hug her every chance you get and tell her how much you love her. That will go a long way in the days ahead - nothing beats wonderful memories.

    That includes doing what you can do together - watching a sunset or flowers, birds, butterflies, a favourite TV program, listening to music and dancing if you can.

    I have had CFS and FM for 10 yrs. My husband does not understand this and resents my illness. I so miss being loved and hugged and appreciated for what I am able to do. We have little to share because his interests either do not involve me or cannot involve me because of the physical effort I would have to put forth.

    If he hugged me and told me he loved me once in awhile I am sure I could better withstand the pain and devastation of this illness.

    You sound like a wonderful husband. I wish you both well. Keep hugging her. Pepper
  6. WifeHasFMS

    WifeHasFMS New Member

    My wife has FMS also.
    I know you are suffering also but if you have the energy do what you can for her, now. My wife never sits still. I try to clean around the house, laundry, vacum, etc. as often as possable. If I do not do it she does it. She needs to relax. I know it is hard. My wife never relaxes. I wish she would slow down just a little but as others on here, who have been so helpful, told me to let her do what she wants. If I keep telling her to slow down she might feel I do not think she is a whole woman. I would never think that, I just want to relieve her of the pain she suffers daily. So I let her do her own thing. Others here also told me to just be there when she falls back and needs me. I purchased a Cream at a health store, which was suggested here. It's an "MSM Cream". I gave it to my wife and it is relieveing some of the pain.

    I wish you and your wife the best of luck. My prayers are with you.

    WifeHasFMS