Need Advice

Discussion in 'Fibromyalgia Main Forum' started by rkidd3423, Apr 21, 2011.

  1. rkidd3423

    rkidd3423 New Member

    My fiancee and I split up after 2 years back in October. We didn't talk for 4 months. We decided to get back together in February. Things were great when we got back together. He was so understanding of my illness and so thankful for my forgiveness. The first month was outstanding and he never complained about his herniated discs. Now, he complains daily about his pain and says I get on his nerves when I complain or moan about mine. We are starting to fight again like we used to. How do I make someone understand this illness and that stress and chaos makes things 10 times worse? On top of everything else, my 16 year old daughter believes I am faking or that it's all in my head. I'm getting no support from either of them and it's quite frustrating. Please let me know if anyone is in a similar situation and has some advice for me.
  2. lgp

    lgp Well-Known Member

    I totally empathize with how you are feeling. Now let me tell you what I believe is my opinion of course. First, and I really mean this, trying to get empathy for this condition from a sixteen year old ( and particularly a girl) is like going on a mad search for water in the Sahara. It ain't ever gonna happen!!! Oh maybe if the rotation of the universe reversed in some weirdly diabolical plan, maybe, just maybe, you might get a bit of empathy...but don't count on it. It's just the way it is. I have three girls; I speak from experience!! In their world, sick people look really, really bad..and if you're not looking it...they ain't buying it. They are superficial and self-absorbed at that age. It's just the way it are not alone!

    As far as your fiancee is concerned...stress can further irritate herniated discs as much as it can affect this condition. Maybe, in a quiet moment, you can sit down with him and perhaps discuss and make a plan for both of you to not complain about how you are feeling, or even commit to discussing how you are both feeling say twice a week, quietly over a cup of coffee or something. The point is, you should both commit to not complaining since it is bothering both of you and causing fighting.

    Finally, and it is cliche, but you need to ask yourself, 'Am I better off with him or without him?' Be honest with yourself. If you are committed to the relationship, commit to making the necessary changes...that goes for him too. If your answer to that question is honestly that you are better off without him, be kind and show him the door.

    Best of luck to you and hope you have better days soon!