Yesterday I saw my rheumy. I had decided after having increasing levels of pain, muscle weakness, and frustrating fatigue, I was going to ask him to be placed on disability. I've been out of work since October. Laid off the second time in less than a year time-span. I worked as a nurse in research, and I've been applying for jobs without any result. Sure, I've had interviews, but nothing had come of them. Most wanted mandatory overtime or rotating shifts - things I just cannot do at this point in my life - I've not been offered any positions. I'm 51, but some days I feel thirty years old. I hate it. I was productive. I was a survivor, and I'd spent my years pushing myself no matter what. My husband had been without work as well, but recently was hired. So, I'm nervous about him getting through the 90 day period - despite his strong work ethic and commitment to his job - things are just not the same anymore in terms of employer loyalty to employees. Benefits for SSDI take so long to kick in. And yesterday WHILE LEAVING the rheumy's building I get a phone call - a request to come in for a second interview! I was totally caught off guard! I stall her, saying I'm driving for awhile, and I don't have access to my calendar. I'm thinking to myself !@$* why now?! Over 2 months ago I had that initial interview! I had given up on it. And today, RIGHT AFTER I leave the rheumy they call me?! It so figures! Fortunately, I was on my way to see my therapist, but I'd not had the chance to even discuss this with my husband. He is my second husband, and we live in *my* house. The mortgage is in my name, and manageable - thank goodness! But if I stop unemployment - which I'd have to if applying for SSDI, his income will pay the mortgage - that gives me anxiety as well. The house is all I was left with after an extremely nasty divorce - I have 3 children I'd hoped to will it to... My husband isn't terribly keen on my applying for disability. And now I don't know what to do. I weigh the constant pain from the fibro and degenerative disc disease in my neck causing stupid migraines, etc. The fatigue which makes me need to rest after showering before drying my hair, and then the mental/emotional loss of my career and acknowledgment this beast (FMS) forced me to contemplate such a decision. I know it's highly personal, but when is it the right time? And with the economy so bad?! I know EVEN IF I take the second interview, it's not a guarantee I will get the job. There's never a guarantee. But how will I feel if I don't try? I swear I wish they'd not called me back. I sure didn't think I was going to get called back - 2 months later?! Argh. So, I guess this is not just a vent/rant, it's a question. It can't really be for others to tell me what to do, because nobody else is me, living my life, but how would YOU deal with this if you've been there, done that, or have contemplated doing this? The *official* labeling of disabled status, the wait for benefits, the second marriage and not paying the mortgage, etc, etc. And the thought of trying ONE LAST TIME to work (as my husband has said he'd prefer)- should the offer go on the table. Oh, and then there's the issue of calling the doc and saying I've had a possible temporary change of heart after getting the call - I want to see if it will work, but if it doesn't, would you be willing to change the date on the letter? I'm thinking he's going to thing I'm wishy-washy and obviously not really in need of disability - or will he think I'm just anxious, or wasting his time, or what?! OMG I feel positively nuts right now :'( Thanks for your help.