need help with anger

Discussion in 'Spirituality/Worship' started by Adl123, Mar 17, 2004.

  1. Adl123

    Adl123 New Member

    I was shocked at myself the other day when I realized that I was still carrying around a lot of anger towards my father (who was very abusive). I have been praying about him a lot over the years, and working on it, and thought I had goten over him, and had truly forgiven him.

    This is what happened.: I was at a restaurant and the waiter looked just like my father did when he was young. All of a sudden these strong feelings of hostility came welling up and , of course, comunicated themselves to the waiter, even before we spoke--- with the result that he treated me very badly. I have been bothered about this ever since, especially since I feel that I created it.

    I could really use some prayers for this, as well as any helpful hints anyone might have. I want to be free of anger before I die.

    Thanks for any ideas.
    Terry
  2. Takesha

    Takesha New Member

    I can relate to what you are saying. I am 49 and my dad was an alcoholic and abusive in some ways. I know that I forgave him but every once in awhile if I smelled beer, or someone used a certian phrase I have a "flashback" and before I knew what was happening my "negative emotions" would kick in and I would find myself wondering why I was feeling angry or sad.

    I don't know if this will work for you, but I wrote a long letter expressing my feelings, my thoughts,memories and said everything I would have said to his face or at least wanted to. This helped bring closure for me and I know they use this technique in some therapys also.

    Likewise, even though you have forgiven, our memories seem to live on, so I pray that the Lord will heal your memories as well. I think that you have part of the problem licked already because at least your able to "catch" those emotions when they arise...and what you feel isn't bad in and of itself, it's just when we act on them that they cause a problem.
    I pray now in the name of Jesus that he will begin to work in the area of your emotions and memories and heal the pain and the anger that stems from it.
    I also pray that you will forgive yourself and not accept the guilt that the enemy has laid upon you. I pray you will be set free from the torment these kinds of things create. Amen
    Hugs
    Takesha
  3. Adl123

    Adl123 New Member

    Dear Stidham,
    Thanks for your reply. In answer to your question No, I was never able to settle thigs with my father while he was alive. He had a bad heart, and so I could never upset him, and then he passed away.
    Terry
  4. Sandyz

    Sandyz New Member

    Praying for you as you requested. My father had a drinking problem when we where kids. We saw lots of scary things we shouldn`t have. In later years he changed so much and he tried so hard to make it up to us. I was able to forgive him because of that.

    I think Stidhams idea of writing out your feeling in a letter is really good. Get those feelings out and then try to let them go. Ask God to heal the hurt in your heart and mind and he will.

    I hope you can get closure and peace with all you suffered.

    Hugs,
    Sandy
  5. danny3861

    danny3861 New Member

    Hello Terry, Welcome,

    Anger comes in many forms and I certainly will be praying that you find a way to resolve yours thru the grace of God. Keep your faith and pray about it lond and hard. When the Lord is ready, he will guide you thru this process. I know my anger gets the best of me sometimes, bad mood or whatever, and I lash out with rude words to my wife or kids. I feel so guilty just for that. Its wromg and I always apologize. But I keep praying to get past this problem. The Lord will see us both thru this. God bless you.

    Danny
  6. Adl123

    Adl123 New Member

    Thank you all for your kind words, advice and prayers. You have really helped me.
    Big hugs,
    Terry