Need help with my mom nursing home

Discussion in 'Fibromyalgia Main Forum' started by Rene, Mar 8, 2006.

  1. Rene

    Rene New Member

    Well if i don't keep getting one thing after another. My mom was takin by ambulance last week for possible stroke. She is only 66 and pretty much bed bound.
    They ruled out stroke and now they say dementia sp? She is hearing voices not all day long but every few hours and hears screams too. Awful.

    Well the hopital says they will put her in a nursing home temporary. I had to hurry fast and wasnn't able to look but one. All the others were very far. I'm mostly homebound so I figure get her close to me.

    I go look at it now I'm not sure. It seems nice BUT they put the SKIlled care people somewhere else and they have 3 BEDS in a room! That part wasn't as nice but not yucky. I kinda didn't like it as lots of people were in the hall and I had not a good feeling. BUt what can I do?

    I don't want her to go home as there is bad bad things going on that I'm going to have to deal with. But if she wants out of the nursing home she'll call the bad person to get her and he (not a boyfrind) takes care of her but is also major drug person. I couldn't stop him from moving in with her. He has a violent temper.

    I don't know what to do There is no one willing to take care of her like the creap in her home as she needs 24 hours care.

    Sorry for all this but if anyone can help
    Rene

  2. 69mach1

    69mach1 New Member

    an advocate for the elderly..even though 66 is looking pretty young to me...

    it sounds like an eviction noticed is required to get this creep out of her home...i know you are nearly bed bound...so that is why i am saying call a social worker or protective services...there is something called elder abuse...

    you need to let the county or local police know what is going on..pronto..you may have some ability to do something while your mother isn't home and has had a stroke....

    the other thing is, is she renting? her name on the lease, phone bills etc....

    can you get legal guardian ship of your mother? you need some legal advice....just start making those phone calls...

    jodie
  3. Rene

    Rene New Member

    Hi thanks PVlady. Well my mom can't walk or even transfer herself to her wheelchair which she can't wheel herself as her elbow is shattered. She has medical (california). So nice of you to offer to look. She is going tomorrow at 10.00!! I made the wrong choice i think. But I only ould see one of the 4 places they offered.

    My mom really lost it since last week. She called 911 from the hospital thinking she heard guns fired about 3 times. Awful. Nobody is doing anything.

    Jodie yea that guy at my moms worked for $900 a month (mom ins on SSI) but he worked 19 hours a day got up with her over night. He conned herinto buying a car too ( the dealership came to the house (I was in the hospital in NIH in WA DC) I live in N CAl. He is driving around with no ins and my mom can lose the house if he wrecks. But he said he'd kill anyone who touched his car.

    I 've already talked to Adult protective Service the other day. My mom told the worker that he screamed at her. But he did come to visit for 3 times with food and spent time and they are friends! What do I do??

    It's awful. I told him not to drive the car until its insured and he sreamed a voulger thing. I don't know how to get him out but if my mom doesn't like the nursing she'll call him and take her home cause he needs the $$$ from the state and then I will worry about her care but now I'm worried in the nursing home too.

    I hate it as I want to be with my mom but at her house, he's there. He's on SS for schzoprinic. He calls the FBI when he loses his wallet. He's lived there for 2 yrs.

    So sorry for the drama. I'm so stressed and just need an ear. Plus my mom has 3 dogs that I love and I'm upstairs in apartment. They are age 12 and up:(. Plus 2 cats.

    Its so sad to see her act crazy.
    Rene
  4. Rene

    Rene New Member

    Hi yea she is in a home now. I went there for 20 min and I don't like it!! I am so worried but I am getting her moved near my apartment saturday. I feel like she has died. She is so off but then at times normal.

    I don't know what to do wih that guy.He does treat her good most of the time if you can believe that and they are friends and she would probably talk to him over me.

    I don't know what to do. He does take her to all the appoinmtnet too and he is her only way in the house to live cause he stays home from 7 pm to 1 pm when the other gal is there.

    Thanks for you help.

    I'm like having a nervous breakdown!!
    [This Message was Edited on 03/09/2006]
  5. patches25

    patches25 New Member

    A year and a half ago I had to go to a nursing home from injuries (broken 2 ankles, foot injuries, and leg injuries). I was there for 3 weeks. I had wonderful care and because I was at end of a hallway, a lot of what was going on with other patients didn't bother me. Please talk to the staff about her situation and see if there could be some room that she could like better. My roomie and I felt like we were in a college dorm and actually had a great time talking and watching favorite shows on TV. (I am 65 YO)

    While in nursing home I learned to walk with aids, got better using a wheelchair and had instruction how to cope with daily necessities. And the nursing home doctor was really wonderful to me.

    Some nursing homes are not good however. I have been to a couple of those types visiting. If necessary, and even if a better one is farther away, do consider it. Not all nursing homes are a lousy place to be. I have even gone back to visit the one I was in and was greated with hugs and smiles.

    Good luck. I really hope you find somewhere that will be okay for your mother. E.
  6. Rene

    Rene New Member

    Thanks for you kind words. You don't hear nursing homes are good very often. I'm getting her moved to a nursing home near me. I went today to see it. She can't get in till Saturday. You and my mom are the same age.
    Rene
  7. Rene

    Rene New Member

    Hi that is a good idea, THe medicare website. Out of all the calling I did to agencys and social workers non mentioned that. I only got "we are not able to recommend" from everyone.

    Well i am getting her by me. I don't know what is wrong with her. I just hope she likes the nursing home. I went there and talked to the people who live there and they like it.

    This whole this is so exausting and I am already worn out to begin with!

    did you put you mom in one? Is she ok?
    Thanks,
    Rene