Need help with something else

Discussion in 'Fibromyalgia Main Forum' started by Malcolm82, Sep 7, 2008.

  1. Malcolm82

    Malcolm82 New Member

    My wife is convinced I'm never going to get well again after what she has read about CFIDS. She is upset with my doctor who keeps saying I am getting better. I think I am very marginally better, but my wife says that as far as she can see I haven't gotten better at all. After 4 years of being out of work herself on disability, we have had to put our life on hold. Now that she may be finally getting better, I'm disabled. We have always wanted children but that dream seems further away than ever. She is sure we are going to lose our house eventually. And she gets tired of me saying we just have to take one day at a time, and says I am just in denial of the fact that we are totally screwed.

    I have always tried to be the optimist, but I understand where she is coming from. It is very difficult for me to remain upbeat, but I do it anyway. It does not come easy for her, and I understand that. Sometimes she is so overcome that she just goes to bed and cries. I am just not the same man she married, and it tears me up.

    Please help me and my wife to cope. I know we are not alone, but it feels like it most of the time. We don't know anybody else who has these DD's around here. You guys are my only life line.

    [This Message was Edited on 09/08/2008]
  2. 3gs

    3gs New Member

    Sounds like you and your wife are on major overload and depressed.

    This dd is so life stealing. I admire that you can stay an optimist because its not easy.

    Does your wife read the posts on here? I know some are scary but theres the one that uplift and have gone into remission also.

    If you feel your improving and doc thinks so it sounds pretty good. You said your wife also was ill but getting better..
    Can understand where shes coming from to. It a long battle and it gets hard to keep fighting.

    You have each other and remember it is for better or for worse this dd is nobodys fault.

    Give warm hugs and look at the sunsets
  3. Belinha

    Belinha New Member


    Newsflash! you are never the same the same person once you get married, neither is she. Marriage is not to be taken lightly but the euphoria and lust of it all just makes it so. I have marrried 4 times with this present hopefully being te last, no dout about it, we lived together for 6 years, and then had a very simple wedding in a park performed by a Justice othe peace. The huriccans of 2004 hit just before that and them I got pneumonina which tunerd to pleurisi while trying telp my husband with KATRINA, Wilma and ended up in Hattiesburg, for a few weeks, with no insurance whatesohever. We must never change for our partner, or vice versa. There is or there may not be a disease in play and you both need take blood tests instead of just crying, fighting, tryig to be we you once were, we could never be the same there are too many things going on and changing the way people get along, if it all stayed the same. Get the proper blood tests and make sure you have a doctor that understands the srverity of this desease. It may be that she is suffering from Major Deppression, or something similar. Where do you live and have you checked the speacialists and doctors on FibroCFSME.COM There's a tremendous amount of information out there and especially in this site. Coping, etc.I now live in Houston and haven't been able to work steady for a couple of years.
    Good luck to both of you.
    [This Message was Edited on 09/08/2008]
    [This Message was Edited on 09/08/2008]
  4. wildflowers2

    wildflowers2 New Member

    Frustrating I know..BUT , you can only take it one day at a time......some people divorce when this crap hits...

    theraphy for her to cope with everything....

    whats the song....."you cant always get what you want"

    You need to take care of YOU.....everything else is second in life.

    THis crap hit me in 2005 and have been an up and down hill battle.

    YOu do what you can when you have the engery.

    Having grown up to older parents ( Mom was 42 when she had me- Dad was 45) I HATED HAVING Older parents..

    I would never recomend having kids later on in life. Especiality when you have health issues.

    IF, you cant take care of yourself you cant take care of
    a child.

    just my 2 cents.....
  5. Belinha

    Belinha New Member

    You certainly are the same man she married! She must just be reading too many novels and fairytales. For better or for worth, for richer or for poor, in sickness and in else. Besides that we get old together, help each other and even when in pain we should laugh and dance one legged or two. She is suffering from major depression and looking for comfort in all the wrong places, ask her to see a counselor, take an anti depressant and most of all tell you are the same man she married, just a little changed with all that has happened and you love more than ever.
    When she goes to bed and cries, follow her, kiss her tears, embrace her and remember: Tears are to the heart, what the mouth doesn't dare to say.
    Love and good luck,