need help with the Fam.

Discussion in 'Fibromyalgia Main Forum' started by puddin827, May 9, 2006.

  1. puddin827

    puddin827 New Member

    My family seems to not rally believe me I think..........They never ask me how I'm feeling,how I'm doing or nothing. It's like I am dealing with this all on my own and it's really hard to do anymore. I try to keep up like I'm doing fine but deep down I HURT and need some one to talk about this with me, someone that believes me. How does anyone elses family respond to them and what can I say to them. NEED HELP with this
  2. KIMHURTS

    KIMHURTS New Member

    Hi Puddin!I have the same problem.I am very alone.Nobody understands or even bothers to ask me how i am.And they forget that i have this.So if im not feeling good or am stuck on the couch they say "what is wrong with you?"Hello!!!Nobody will ever understand until they are in your shoes.That is the conclusion that i have come up with.It is very frustrating but at least you have us now to confide in!And we can all help each other through this very difficult time.Hope this helps.Kim
  3. TxSongBird

    TxSongBird New Member

    Puddin that is why I think it is important for people who suffer from chronic illnesses to have a support system, whether it be family or strangers to vent to and to exchange ideas, information and such. I have gotten to the point where I don't rely on my family to hear me when I am in pain.

    TxSongBird
  4. cczub

    cczub New Member

    Hi all! Haven't been around in a while.... Having a REALLY bad day today. It took my family a little while to come around and for the most part they are now supportive of me.. My wife sometimes forgets, especially when I go though my good periods... It's not a disease that someone other than someone who has it can understand... I have 2 other family members on my wife's side who have it and that's been a big help... I'm glad you came here as there are alot of great supportive people here.
  5. NyroFan

    NyroFan New Member

    puddin827:
    I gave up on expecting someone to listen to me about my FM/CFS and other medical problems. So, I show up here and have my daily e-mailing from other gals in the same boat.
    At least we have each other and on this message board.

    I have given up trying to expect anyone to give me any sympathy or God forbid: empathy.

    hugs,
    nyrofan
  6. rockgor

    rockgor Well-Known Member

    Sad to say this seems to be a common problem here. Like many things in life, many families do not live up to expectations.

    For many people from dysfunctional families, friends can fill the role of family. But we also have the problem of not being able to maintain friendships because of lack of energy, flares, etc.

    A 12-step group is a big help to addicts, but again we have trouble going to meetings.

    So we are pretty much stuck w/ this board and the rare friend/relative who can cope w/ us and our DD.
  7. Cromwell

    Cromwell New Member

    Well, I just was redaing the advice column the other day and there was a woman carping on about her friend who is "always ill and complaining" and the counselor tore into her for being so mean. She said, thank your blessings you yourself are not in pain and give youtr friend a little time to tell.

    So this is just how people think. They avoid asking as they know what we are going to say. I have learned just to keep quiet.

    Love Anne C
  8. terib

    terib New Member

    Hi Puddin, I was diagnosed with FM on March 22nd of this year. (I'll always remember that date.) I've had the symptoms of FM for years, lost several jobs and suffered a lot. Yes I know I'm preaching to the choir but I'm gratefull for the diagnosis. It makes it all seem more real. Does that make sense.

    Any way in response to your post. i'm jusst the opposite of you. i'm tired of people asking me how I feel. I don't want to explain any more. My response is usually, no better and god willing no worse. I'm tired of stupid suggestions as to how to "cure" me. My mother is the worse. When I did tell her how I was feeling she had to one up me all of the time. When I started crying one day because I couldn't remeber words to finish sentences my husband snapped at me..."what's wrong" I told him that he doesn't understand what it's like to feel this way everyday. His response, you don't want to feel better. Now I don't tell him how I feel.

    Sorry for the lengthy response, I just needed to tell someone that!

    Have a great day.

    Teri
  9. mme_curie68

    mme_curie68 New Member

    We share the same birthday but 11 yrs. apart.!

    Family can be difficult. I'm fortunate in that my maternal Aunt has had FM for years so I do have someone who understands.

    It's hard. My younger sister doesn't understand why I no longer have the energy to pop up to her place and visit like I used to (she's an hour's drive away from me).

    My weekends are all about conservation of energy...it takes so much out of me during the week working right now.

    My husband I think understands and tries to be supportive but like any human being sometimes he gets frustrated as well.

    It's a very hard thing to grasp (even for me, the patient) that one day I can feel decent and the next day with absolutely nothing being different like I've been thrown under a bus.

    I bought Fibromyalgia for Dummies for me and for my family. But, guess who's read it? Yep, just me....

    That why this board is so important to me - it keeps me plugged in with people who understand.

    Hugs,
    Madame Curie