Discussion in 'Spirituality/Worship' started by windblade, May 30, 2006.

  1. windblade

    windblade Active Member

    To my dear friends,

    Wow, I felt so loved and cared for reading your posts this morning, and throughout the day!

    The Holy Spirit guided my day through your prayers. I was so exhausted that my eyes looked dead - no life in them.

    I got ready for therapy - then realized after washing my hair,etc; that I was so exhausted I chose to do phone counseling instead. It was so hard to wait until 6:00 for the appt.

    I remembered what Asa said about the sleeping pills and called my Dr. to ask for them. My husband picked up OTD Simply Sleep, I can go to stronger stuff on thursday if needed.

    I have NEVER in my entire life had this kind of insomnia - with CFS I need between 8-12 hours every day. And that's when I'm feeling well!

    The insomnia is a self-sabatoging (unconscious)PTSD unhealthy response to my trying to be what God has intended me to be.

    It all stemmed from last Wed. when I hung up a painting that I had done. A beautiful watercolor - one of my best.
    It's taken me over 5 years to do that!!!

    The PTSD fear of coming out into the open, of being talented, and allowed to be,brought me to the blackest depths of depression and despair all this time.

    I have such deep issues to keep working on. The therapy today went deeper and more specific. Hallelujah.

    God's clarity and wisdom were there. It was a miracle that I was even able to talk, and I spoke and heard WELL!

    All this through your prayers!!! I felt so cared for at the end of the day.

    p.s. I tried the sleep tablets and got 5 and a half hours sleep.

    Thank you my sweet family in the Lord!!!
    [This Message was Edited on 06/01/2006]
  2. Asatrump

    Asatrump New Member

    I am so glad you got my "message" about sleep. I try to reply without sounding like a mother hen, but as I am 62 I have had more time than some in dealing with this monster.
    Good you try over the counter sleep aids first, but you did get the point that sleep deprivation can make you feel like you are dying. As my son always says, there are more pain meds than you have pain. Of course we all know that is true, but also know you are flat out and unconscious if you take that much medication.
    5 hours is a start. If you google just the words sleep deprivation, you will learn a great deal.
    Don't be afraid to nap if you are able.
    OK, motherhen lecture over. insert grin please.
  3. morningsonshine

    morningsonshine New Member

    I think it's wonderful you hung up a painting, wish i could see it. I bet your husband is proud of you to, you did say he liked your paintings didn't you?

    I hope the over the counter sleep meds are enough to help you get your sleep back.

    I pray God gives you peaceful restful sleep, that helps you to heal.

    God Bless and love

  4. dejovu

    dejovu New Member

    Thankyou God for the talent you have given Judy. Thankyou for her being able to look at one of your creations and thru this talent be able to create something beautiful for someone to enjoy.

    Please heal her soul of the wound that keeps her from this gift you have given her. Please hold her as a child on your lap. Give her paper and crayons, let her know that you approve of her talent and it has come from you.

    And as she heals, fill her heart and soul with your love. In Jesus name, I pray. Amen

  5. windblade

    windblade Active Member

    Thank you for mother-henning me. I love it! Have not had much of that in my life. I feel horrible today. I doubled the OTC med., and still only slept 3 hours. This is horrible.

    I think I'll call my Dr. - nope, she's gone for the day.
    Either have to wait until tomorrow or call her emergency #.

    I just realized that this has been going on for 2 weeks instead of one; it's just that I had areally bad med. side effect at the same time.

    Going to try her number - need something stronger.

    I've never had this in my life - not eating much either - no appetite.

    Thanks for caring!
  6. windblade

    windblade Active Member

    Hi again,

    My Dr. called in Ambien, and my husband brought it back. I forgot what you take. Hope it works. She said to be near the bed 15 - 30 minutes so I hope it hits me hard!

    I'm so glad that you affirmed how serious it is to go through.

    Love, JUdy
  7. MamaR

    MamaR New Member

    So relieved for you! I am so glad that you found sleep...because lack of sleep can be one of the worst things to go through!

    I am being brief tonight. I have decided to not miss you all just because I can't sit here long. You all will understand if I can't write much at times. You all know I care and that I am praying.
    I was in bed all afternoon with such fatigue. I feel some better now.

    Love, Mari
  8. windblade

    windblade Active Member

    The Ambien didn't work! I slept less than 3 hours - I can't believe it. It's supposed to be so strong. I went to bed early after dinner, couldn't wait any longer.

    It's now 3:a.m. My hours are topsy-turvey like they usually are, but that's okay when I can sleep. Maybe it didn't work because I had just eaten.

    Will try again in 3 hours, on an empty stomach. This is so horrible to go through.

    Sorry for boring you with all this, but please pray that I don't get panicky - can't think straight.

    Will call my Dr. tomorrow also.

    Thanks for listening,
  9. windblade

    windblade Active Member

    Please pray for me today. Too much to describe but I am far from well emotionally and physically. But emotionally, need help badly!

    Going to try that stupid Ambien again, and now I'm also worried that I'm going to be cooking and sleep-walking, and all kinds of weird things. Has me scared.

    Please Pray.

    BLUEROSE7 New Member

    I'm so sorry you are going through this. I know the feeling of not being able to sleep all to well.

    Never ever think you are boring us hun, thats what we are here for....each other and to lift each other up in prayer.

    Please know....I'm praying for you hun, I pray you will get some much needed sleep and peace of mind.

    God Bless
    ((Hugs, Love & Prayers))

    P.S. Judy please call your doctor this morning OK, Let him/her know what's going on....Plus, if the Ambien is not working, maybe he could call you in something else to try.
    [This Message was Edited on 06/01/2006]
  11. dejovu

    dejovu New Member

    Hide your credit card! When I use to get that tired, I'd wake-up ( not really awake ) and shop the infommercials. I started getting stuff and had no idea where it was coming from, 'till I got my credit card bill. (true Story)

    You are first and formost in my thoughts and prayers. I don't want to practice medicine but you might try a musscle relaxer before the Ambien. I had to do that because the Ambien did not work for me.

    We know God answers prayers, so today dear sister, all day I'll be praying for you. Please try and eat something. I know you don't feel like it but you know that is also part of taking care of yourself. There is an answer to this problem and I'm praying that you'll recieve it today.

    We all love you so much and just want you back feeling better.

    Dearest Jesus, today I'm praying for my sister Judy. You know how hard this is on her and I ask that you resolve this problem. Thru you all things are possible. I thankyou for bring Judy into my life. I know that this is part of your plan.

    Dear Jesus, she is your child and I know you do not want her in pain so please be with her today. Keep her safe and heal her. Wrap your arms around her, so that she can feel your loving warmth. You know when we are sick, pain is our overriding feeling. I know you will help her and for this I say thankyou.

    Let her know SHE IS LOVED by so many people. We are all praying and missing her. Guide her Drs. to prescribe the right meds.

    I know you are always with us and I thankyou for that. We need never feel alone, because you have given us a family. We are your children in the house of the Lord. In your Precious Name I pray these things. Amen

  12. morningsonshine

    morningsonshine New Member

    My thoughts and prayers are with you today.
  13. dejovu

    dejovu New Member

  14. Asatrump

    Asatrump New Member

    OK, you got the ambien. I had a neighbor gentleman that ambien did not help, but his problem was a very temporary type.

    Remember I am old mother hen, not a doctor. I will just tell you what I do. At bedtime I take 2 arthritis strength tylenol (650 mg each) I take a bp med, colace, but I also take the ambien WITH half a 5 mg VALIUM pill.

    Many people are anti valium, but the old drug works for my old body. It serves to make me relaxed enough to sleep. At that point the ambien kicks in. Generally with that drug cocktail at bed I sleep , but only 5 hours. When I wake during the night I take 350 mg. of Soma, a muscle relaxant and am usually able to get back to sleep. Some nights total six hours, some close to 9. I also notice a direct correlation to the quality and quantity of my sleep and what is on the calendar for the following day. If the calendar is blank, I relax and sleep better.

    I am at the point where mostly I TELL my doctor what I do rather than ask. He doesn't know MY body, he only knows bodies in general.

    A few years ago I would have really hesitated taking that much medication at one time. Now I don't blink.

    I was reading in my journal from last year and I am so much better. I had been unable to take any anti depressant as they all made me nauseas and kicked in my ulcer. Once again, I have to know what does or does not work for my body.

    My doctor last July gave me a prescription for a practically ancient anti depressant called Maprotiline. He said most pharmacies would need to special order it. Yep, figures as it is cheap. IT WORKS. It took about two weeks or even more for full effect.

    It didn't cure the problems in my life, but left me in better shape to deal with them. It was like parting the fog and giving me a small path.

    I am still praying for you, maybe instead of a hymn, I should play the Brahms lullaby.

    I will give you another of my self hint tips since you don't seem to object to my mothering. gee, maybe I should see how old you are!

    I do the same thing each night. It is my secret. After my prayers, I recreate myself back to a time when I had good looks, a fantastic body and no pain. I don't take the same path as my reality, but each night make up another scenario. It feels good during that time to be me. In my reverie I am able to know what I know with age, but have the body of youth. I have not shared this with my husband...... who interesting walked in an hour ago with a dish garden the size of a bushel basket for our 40th anniversary!!

    Sorry if this all sounds silly, but I am trying to assure you a nights sleep. If you did google sleep deprivation, it will be scary. I doubt your MD will give you anything stronger than ambien. I took restoril for years, but after being off it a long time and then trying it again, my ulcer didn't like it. That was a good drug, but I think probably more addictive.

    I have not had addiction problems or withdrawal either. I have taken valium over 40 years as needed. I recall when seeing my GYN and kids were small that I needed something for pms... he asked what were my symptoms and I simply said at a certain time of the month just let me know what mountain you want moved.... I can move it with my bare teeth. I recall joking and saying if you do not want to read my name in the headlines, then give me something. Back then they were able to give it with plenty of refills.

    My MD now insists that I take valium.... both for tension and for digestive, IBS. Originally valium was designed to help the intestinal tract. For me it helps. Today I have taken none, but will take that half pill at bedtime.

    hugs and prayers. and keep this thread going as long as you need to. Don't be afraid to ask.
  15. fivesue

    fivesue New Member

    praying for you. I will someday catch up. (-: So happy to know you and to see God working so wonderfully in your life.

  16. ilovecats94

    ilovecats94 New Member

    I'm glad you got 5 hours of sleep, but you need so much more. I need at least 8 to 9 hours at the minimum. I like about 12, but feel guilty getting that much.

    I just take Xanax .5 mg. around 11:30 PM, but it can be 3 AM before I go to bed.

    Judy, could you be going through menopause? I had problems sleeping when I went through an early menopause at 39. Now I'm post-menopausal and don't have the sleeping problems anymore, unless I'm having a GERD chest pain event.

    Happy to hear your phone line counseling went well. :)

    Okay, so the Ambien didn't work. There are other meds to try.

    Prayers to you that the Ambien will work for you and the Valium.

    Love & prayers,
  17. dejovu

    dejovu New Member

  18. windblade

    windblade Active Member

    Thank you my dear friends for your prayers, and most of all your love!

    DE, Bluerose. Misty, Hangin, Asa, Sue, Faye

    How blessed I am to have you all caring for me so much!!!!!

    I called my Dr. because I had taken the Ambien twice in a day instead of once. She gave me her ok to do that. So in a 24 hour period it gave me 7 hours of sleep.

    Great for some people, and MUCH better for me, but not nearly enough for this CFS person.

    I had to take down my watercolor painting that I had finally hung after 5 years. The reactions I get are so brutal, as I have severe or complex PTSD. It broke my heart.

    But I know when things get dangerous to draw back. I will definitely keep going to therapy, and my doc knows exactly why this is happening.

    I have so much more to say to everyone, but will try and sleep soon.

    You're helping me get through a really bad time! I love each one of you!!!


  19. dejovu

    dejovu New Member

    We are praying for you, dear one. Don't push yourself and when you WANT to say something we will be here, loving you just as much.

    I know the give and take process. It's a hard mountain to climb but it can be done and you are doing it. Take care of yourself my sister. Never forget how loved you are. Sweet Dreams, De
  20. morningsonshine

    morningsonshine New Member

    How are things going for you today? Sleep any better last night?

    I'm not surprised you needed to take down your painting, but, i'm still proud of you for hanging it up. I feel sure you will get it up for good, sometime in the future.

    Baby steps.