Need prayers desperately....

Discussion in 'Spirituality/Worship' started by Helenawoodside, Aug 15, 2007.

  1. I am going through alot right now...My Mother is in a nursing home with dementia.almost 2 years come next March.
    My brother lost his job over a year...this month is 1 years still unemployed...and will possibly face homelessness and eviction...I feel so sorry for him...I cannot understand why he hasn't been able to find a job....He was born and raised in this country...people of foreign extractions get jobs...I don't know why he isn't able...I have helped for over a year...I could saved over $5,000 twoeards my retiredment...yet I couldn't even get him to go in the evenings since I work to visit Mom for dinner and help with her feedings....and all the time I have been paying $76.00 monthly for his transportation card...If that weren't bad..I have a friend that I've know since high school..She swears everytime she writes or calls that I am her best friend yet it has been almost two weeks of my calling her and emailing her to please send me a McAfee computer protection disk that she has an extra copy,and that I supplied the padded envelope with postage...What would you think of a friend like her...How hard can it be for her to deposit the envelope with the CD-Rom...Friends are no longer true friends.

    My Mom was my best friend in the world...and even though she continues to be my best friend....Love her more now than ever with more intensity and pain...deep sorrowful pain...I am crying as I type this...My half-aunt Mom's sister from my paternal grandfather has not even ask to come to NY and visit my Mother at the nursing home....

    I have no friend who call or write...the friend won't mailed my disk....will not pick up the phone when she sees my phone number on her caller I.D...Geez, and I am her best friend....everyone go figure that out....

    Heck, I will look on the internet and purchase...why should I wait till kingdom come for her to get her lazy butt up and place disk in envelope and mail it to me....

    Well please pray for me, I feel an intense lonliness and sadness,that I don't have many friends out there in this real world to pick up the phone and ask me how are I am doing...I too will pray and ask God to keep me from flipping the script....Thank you all with your love of God...May he bless everyone on boared and please pray that I can find peace, good and real friends , and most importantly religious friends to come into my path would even the best reward I can receive from the Lord...You all take care and God Bless everyone on board.
    [This Message was Edited on 08/15/2007]
  2. Asatrump

    Asatrump New Member

    I worked as a church musician for 40 years. The single sermon that stands out most in my mind was the topic of Loneliness.

    Many of us can totally understand how you feel.

    Prayers Helena for you.
    [This Message was Edited on 08/18/2007]
  3. Thanks for your prayers which I really need at this times. As far as my brother, I will not be sending him anymore transportation cards....

    I send them to him, and he doesn't visit much...They're expensive $76.00 for a monthly card...I could be saving the money in my bank acct....I've had it with him...he won't change...Still unemployed....My Mother got dementia I believe...from trying all of her life to help him be a better person...You cannot change a human being...they are who they are....It has to come from them...

    I give up, and will leave it in the Lord's hands just like everything else...Take care...and God Bless you all.Helena
    [This Message was Edited on 08/16/2007]
  4. springwater

    springwater Active Member

    you seem to be going through a lot; my mum used to be a bit psychotic towards her later years and she died of cancer and it was tough watching her waste away.

    God grant you the strength and may he Bless you with lots of real friends who are there for you through thick and thin. I pray your brother gets a job, becomes more responsible and stops taking advantage of a lovely sister like you.

    Warm hugs and god bless
  5. I want to thank everyone who has responded and offered prayers for me...God Bless you all..

    Yes it is devastating to witness your Mother in a nursing home suffering with such a cruel disease like Alzheimers..I ask God to give me strength...each and everyday...when I go to bed nightly and when I awaken...

    My brother is a hopeless case...I can no longer help him...he is so pathetic...it sounds mean to say that...but I can no longer help a person who doesn't want to help himself...He wants everything thrown in his lap...I am sorry but my Mother did that all of her life...and look where it got her...he stressed her out for the last 12 years that they lived together drinking, smoking, destroying her apt...screaming and cursing her at her...I could do nothing...One time I called the police...and she made me look very bad..told the officers...that everything was alright...and that I had overreacted between a minor spat between her and my brother...I was so angry at her...my blood just boiled thinking, "Why is my Mother taking such a abuse"?

    I would tell her, "Kick him to the curb,",Mom would respond,"You don't have children, and will never know,that a good mother would never have her child removed from her home". So I told her, "Mom a good mother doesn't allow a child over 18 to run all over,disrespect, and treat has though she were s--t,excuse my French".. Poor Mom she was abused by her stepmother, and so she needn't know how to fight back..and not allow it...Both my brothers are trashy,but even with her dementia, she will still ask me about them...They are still her little boys...

    I love Mom, even though throughtout my life, I did not understand her philosophy,and why she permitted others to be so abusive to her....

    I have decided not to call anymore of my so-called friends...Now I just ask God to help me survive, and move on, and God is the one I love, adore, and my creator..He is the best friend we can have living on this cold and uncaring world...To all of you on this board immense thanks. Wish I knew you all personally to hug and kiss..God Bless you from the botttom of my heart...You are now my friends...I live in Queens, NY...Anybody from Queens? Take care everyone, and enjoy the weekend. Helena
  6. fromnz

    fromnz Guest

    I really feel for you, like so many of us who come to this board, apart from having fibro or cfs or some other disease, it seems nearly all suffer from lonliness, myself included.
    I don't have any friends at all where I live, I have been in this district a year now & attended the same church & haven't made a single friend. Some days if I didn't have my parents still alive & living with me I doubt I would see another living soul.
    I have several email friends & a couple of friends who live elsewhere, but it's not the same as having someone you can ring up & say lets meet for a coffee or whatever.
    I pray you will find someone as it isn't much fun, & we do need companionship & in your situation you need someone to talk to about your mother & your brothers.
    I work in a resthome & several of my residents have dementia, it is really hard on the families,so I do know a little of what that is like.
    I hope your situation will improve.
    Have you heard of AVG or Zone Alarm? They do free downloads for computer protection & are really good, if you google either it will take you to their web sites & you click on free download, but be warned it takes several hours to download, but is worth it.
    Best wishes,
    Linda.
  7. You know all to well what being friendless is about...No..I don't have a friend that I can call up to have coffee...Well I do have a friend...known her for 36 years..she's the friend who finally mailed me the computer protection CD...She's married and has her own health problems..etc...We do get together..for a couple of hours every now and then...

    Aside from her...I have phone friends...Friends that I have known for years but I don't get together with them..just speak on the phone...and of course my email buddies..that helps..

    I am getting serious chest pains...I am so stressed...I am surprised that I haven't gotten a heart attack...Sometimes I have to massage my chest and take deep breaths..because I get so scared from the angina pain...but everyone tells me it is most likely stress...

    A couple of years back I went through the same...had a heart stress test...and the cardiologist told me I did not have heart disease...said the pain I was feeling was from lots of stress...I need to visit my Dr. and get a prescription for anxiety medication..rigth now I just stopped typing to massage my chest...did is how stressed I feel...I am going to call my Dr. to see if she is in tommorrow to get an echo cardiogram...

    Most of the stress is due to the fact...that my brother is unemployed...and doesn't have money to pay his rent,or utilities bills next month Sept...He will most likely start calling my elderly father...and start stressing him out..I would hate to have Dad get a heart attack due to my brother...

    My brother will keep calling Dad and complaining non-stop...Is there someone or agency that I can call to get help...Thank you for the website...for free protection will check them out....For Zone...do I type zone.com or just go to goggle...Please help...me...I am so depressed and starting to lose it...Helena God Bless eveyone for answering this post...Please keep praying that I don't have a mild/massive heart attack...I live in Queens, NY to any who might want to get together and all collectively cry on one another's shoulders....
  8. fromnz

    fromnz Guest

    First off you need to try & do some relaxation methods, the chest pains from stress is not good, I understand how much stress youa re having & how worried for your family you are, but you need to think of your own health first, because if anything does happen to you what will your parents do, or cope without you there to help?
    Anti-anxiety medice sounds a good idea, but they take several weeks to have effect, so you need to try & do some sort of relaxation techniques.
    The virus protection sites are Zone Alarm, which if you google that will give you it's website, or AVG antivirus, dot eh same thing, but make sure you click on free download, as there are many products they would prefer you to pay for.
    Sorry I can't call round in person, I love in New Zealand, so rather a long way away. I hope you find someone soon who can befirend you.
    I hope you feel better soon.
    Best wishes & prayers.
    Linda.
  9. Thanks Linda, for your prayers and concern...Yes you are right I do need to relax...I just worry about my brother, and my Dad is getting up in age..and living with my youngest brother who is 46 years old and mentally ill...

    God what will happen to him when Dad passes? I guess I am worrying about the future...Just feel so much pain for both of my brothers..all screwed up...My parents are responsible...Always babying...took care of them all of their lives...My Dad and Mom always went against me...when I'd put my two cents and complained about their irresponsibility...

    My Mom & Dad would not listen to me...Yes the chest pain feels more like a buzzing sensation in my chest...daily...now...I know I am tremendously stressed...
    Then I am working at a new job within the post office that I am not happy in...Can not relocate...because it is based on a bidding system...and right now they are frozen...they won't be posting new jobs...until the entire postal service nationwide is online...

    Its sounds prepostorous to me...put I pray we go online very soon so I can try to bid out of the job I am in and go back to my old position as a window clerk....

    Keep your prayers coming in...Yes...I pray nightly not only for me,but for my Poor Mom in the nursing home...I wish she hadn't gotten Alzheimers...She is not the Mom I knew...very very hard and cruel disease....Her Dr. at the nursing home said that Alzheimers is worse than getting cancer...because Alzheimers robs you of your mind....

    Sometimes I feel I am losing my memory...I have forgotten so many things..and I cannot retain anything like I use to and it is really scary....Well you live far...My Aunt husband's family is from New Zealand...what a small world...God Bless you and take care.Thank you for replying to my post...Helena
  10. fromnz

    fromnz Guest

    I wish I had some answers for you, I'm not able to offer any sound wisdom on how to get rid of the stress in your life, all I can suggest is that somehow you turn it over to God & try not to worry about the future & what ifs, if we do that we don't get to appreciate the now.
    Do you attend a church? If so are you able to talk to the Minister or someone there, it is said a burden shared is a burden halved.
    I can relate in a small way as I have my elderly parents living with me, they are 84 next birthday & both are not keeping that well, so it would be easy to worry about the future, but I refuse to do so, because for all I know it may turn out very different to what I can imagine it to do so.
    I went back to work earlier this year, against my Dr's better advice, but it is good to be earning my own income again. I have deteriorated health wise since returning to work though & am praying I can continue in the job because I actually like this one! But I know how hard it is being in a job you don't like, I am sorry you are in that situation, it doesn't help the stress level.
    Have you thought any more about going to the Dr & seeking advice re anti-anxiety medication?
    Hang in there.
    Thinking of you.
    Linda.
  11. For answering my post once again...I havent' gone to the Dr...I am finally getting a knack for the job...I still don't like it...It requires alot of standing on the feet all day long...By the time I get in at 1:15am my feet are aching and swollen...

    My new job requires alot of lifting and pushing mail on postal equipment from one section to another...I am going back to my old job. Servicing customers on the windows...
    My brother does not have money to pay his rent in Sept...My Dad and I have decided we can no longer help him...It's been a year that he has not been able to seek permanent employment...I can't understand why he isn't able to find a job...

    He's got to be doing something during his interviews not to get hired...I don't know what he will do...All I know is I will not help him anymore...A year is enough time for him to have gotten employed...I don't know what he doing...

    Well I better get off,it's going on 2am ...Have to shower and go to bed...am getting up early to cook...my lunch and bring some to Mom at the nursing home...God Bless you Linda and thank you for thinking of me...Haven't called to make an appt. w/Dr. to get anti-anxiety med...I really need them...Helena
  12. fromnz

    fromnz Guest

    Hello there,
    I haven't been to the board for ages as have been battling with my own health. But I have been wondering how you are doing?
    I'm glad you have been able to have your old job back, I hope that is working out well for you & not such long hours on your feet.
    I was thinking about your brother's lack of success in getting a job, it's possible the prospective employers check his references & are not getting good info, which may prevent him getting a job.
    I sure hope things improve for you soon.
    Thinking of you,
    Linda.
  13. Thank you for your recent reply...Things are still the same...My brother was able to get Dad to pay this month's rent for Sept. I am sure it will be the same next month...

    He says he will find a job...I doubt it...My brother is mentally unstable...and never held a job for more than 3 years...

    I am getting sick....Had to go by ambulance on Thursday to the hospital...started getting chest pains...Was told my heart is alright...the Emer. Room did a battery of tests...Blood test, chest x-rays,ekg,blood pressure...everything was fine and I was told I am suffering from stress related chest pain...

    Today, Sunday, Sept. 2nd, I have been all day with dizzy spells...I think I am so stressed thinking about alot of family stuff,job I am not happy at, and have bidded hoping I can leave and go to another job...Possibly back to working the windows at the post office...I will know in about 2 weeks...Wish me luck and offer your prayers..I've been doing alot of praying lately...Asking God to strengthen me...God bless you all...on this worship board...thank you Linda for your concern. Helena
  14. springwater

    springwater Active Member

    Its worrying to know you keep getting chest pains. Taking care of your mum at this time would be enough stress without having to worry about your brothers finances.

    I empathise because i am in the same boat myself. I have three brothers two married and not one of them has a job. We had such an unstable childhood they didnt finish school or anything. I supported my parents and three brothers after i left school and when i got married, they worked with my husband but his factory shut down. Since then they have been unemployed and i am always having to hep them out with my household money. I have two teenage children who will need to go to college and my brothers are leeching off their education money. Recently I got a major anxiety attack just thinking of the future but i know getting sick myself isnt going to help any so i ve been trying to look after myself. Eating properly, taking vitamins, taking my antidepressant medicines (yes I suffer from depression) and with yoga breathing exercise my anxiety attacks have ceased. Otherwise i was getting IBS and heart palpitations. Yes, praying over and over again helps a lot and i am praying for you too. I pray our brothers will be able to support themselves and I pray you will be strong enough to take care of your mother and find happiness and love and all the good things you deserve. Keep strong.

    God bless
  15. Thank you, thank you, thank you,.....I need those encouraging words and prayers they mean so much to me.

    Right now all I do before I go to sleep is pray over and over again...ASking the LOrd to help me get through my pain .

    Poor Mom I have been so down and out that I have't visited since last Sat...and what guilt I feel...Well I better close and I want everybody to pray my brother gets a solid full-time permanent job that he can pay his own bills with...

    That is my prayer request at this time...And May the Lord truly bless everyone on this board who has been with me on this post from the start...Thank you all my God bless you,love you, and hold you, near his heart warming love...

    Thank you all again.....I too am starting to feel better , Thanks be to God.Amen...Helena
  16. Since I last wrote, My brother finally got a job...Not permanent, a temp job that could become permanent depending on his job performance....I asked everyone to pray that my brother would find employment and thank God he has even though it is not a permanent job..

    The money he earns is not enough to pay rent,telephone, and electric bills....He says he'll pay $400 to his landlord, and still owe him $200....and will not have money to pay telephone and electric bill....I don't know what to say to him anymore...I believe that my brother is mentally ill and does not have the capacity to understand he has to be responsible in order to survive and have a roof over his head...I try not to call him because all it creates is anxiety in my life...and I actually start to feel sick physically...On Aug. 31st...I had to be taken by ambulance to the emergency room...Was getting terrible chest pains and thought I was having a heart attack...Only to find out it was anxiety/panic attack...Was given Xanax intravenously and the pain subsided immediately....I was discharged and went back to work that same day...and worked 4 hours...

    Am glad I have transferred to a different station and I am happier...The station that I was working in when I had the chest pains did not understand or had compassion for me...even though they knew what was going on in my personal life....So glad I got out...and went back to work at my old station...They are totally understanding of my situation in terms of my brother and Mom being in a nursing home with dementia...Thank you all for your prayers,words of encouragemnt,and advice...God Bless you All.Helena
    [This Message was Edited on 10/03/2007]