need prayers for decision

Discussion in 'Spirituality/Worship' started by Adl123, Feb 12, 2007.

  1. Adl123

    Adl123 New Member

    Dear All,
    Hi. I haven't posted on this board for about 6 months. The subject is still the same - almost.

    My friend of 38 years is still in trouble, but she has qualified for Section 8 and should have a place to stay in 4 weeks. Although it is still very hard for her, and she is walking on egg shells,in a month or so, she should be free and quietly living alone. Thank you to all who prayed for her, before.

    This time it is I who need to decide how I'm going to act. I backed off our relationship a bit, as my doctor told me to. However, my heart still gives an involuntary spasm whenever she is in danger. But let me get to why I'm writing.

    She has always been a bit negative. We have discussed it, and she resents me saying anything. She is so negative now, that she cannot think any other way. There is never any subject I comment about or mention, that she doesn't say something negative about. I really hesitate to phone her, as I know it will be a bad experience.

    I understand how she feels, and that she is trying to buffer herself by not letting herself enjoy or be happy about anything. I want to be a true friend. But then I remember that I have 17 illness, many of which cause depression. I'm trying to handle them without medication, because of my allergies. I don't want to desert her, but I find it very hard to be constantly "brought down' from a happy state. The other day, she made a sarcastic comment, showing that she resents my happiness. (Somethg happened in my life to give me a lot of joy). I felt terrible.

    l'II need strength to behave in a kind and loving way. I need the strength to be totally honest, I think. Except that I know, from experience, that if I really come out and just tell her what being around her is really like, she will blame me and just get mad at me, and do nothing but turn that into another reason for anger and self-pity.

    So - - any ideas? You are so wise, I know someone will come up with an idea for me.
    Thanks, in advance, ans I apologize for this post being so long.

    Hugs,
    Terry
    [This Message was Edited on 02/13/2007]
  2. pepper

    pepper New Member

    since I am faced with a similar situation in my own life and have no idea how to handle it. It is very difficult to be around such negativity.

    But I will pray for you, Terry, that you receive some answers as to what to do.

    Love, Pepper
  3. Asatrump

    Asatrump New Member

    I have no advice either, but will include you in my prayers. Sometimes it has been my experience that there is not a solution for every problem. I hope you can work everything out and not get hurt.
  4. alaska3355

    alaska3355 New Member

    My name is Terri too.....
    Is your friend on medication? She sounds depressed herself. You show that you care for her by not wanting to totally ban her from your life, but you do need to take care of yourself. I pray that God will help you to work this out.
  5. Adl123

    Adl123 New Member

    Thank you for your responses. Your prayers worked.

    My friend phoned me yesterday and my heart went out to her. There is no way I can understand the depth of her suffering, from when she was abused as a child, to being homeless in a big city, to, when she finally thought she had found someone who could love her, being betrayed and used by her partner.

    I decided that I should stick by her. What kind of a person would I be if I couldn't muster up enough compasson to support her? What kind of peace is my peace if it can't withstand another's lack of it?

    I gained distance. There is no reason her anger should make me angry to the extent that my inner peace is disturbed. So, I'll be there to help her pick up the pieces, and maybe I can help her start to think more positively when the pressure is off.

    God bless,
    Terry
  6. kgangel

    kgangel New Member

    HI Terry

    You are in my prayers dear one

    I wish I could give you advice on what to do, but I really don't want to say the wrong things. I know God will be with you and you will have an answer.

    Sometimes we just over analize our friendships and try too hard, that may be the case with you, I don't know. But, I hope that you don't continue to be her friend through guilty feelings, you should not feel guilty, sometimes we just can not do any thing for someone except Pray.

    I hope things will work out ok for you

    God Bless you

    hugs
    kgangel