Need Prayers, NH called Mom dying

Discussion in 'Spirituality/Worship' started by greatgran, Oct 4, 2004.

  1. greatgran

    greatgran Member

    Please pray for me the NH called yesterday and said my Mom is dying..She is unresponsive, no B/P or pluse showing on the monitors, can detect a heartbeat
    every now and then..They said it could be anytime..

    This is where I need help, I can't go..
    I started out the door and went into
    a "spell" shook, turned blue etc..My husband and bother went to be with her..

    What kind of a person am I?/I have been in bed sick since Fri. but the anxiety
    has just taken over me..I am here now
    on this net when I need to be at the NH.
    My insides are shaking etc...BIG ANXIETY..I start to go then shake and feel like I am passing out..even with the xanax...

    I just don't think I can watch her die.
    How awful am I ? I am trying to get there but not sure I will make it..

    I feel like such an awful person. I have prayed for God to help me...I just want to go to my room get in bed and close the door till this is all over with...

    Thanks for letting me vent..

  2. sunflowergirl

    sunflowergirl Well-Known Member

    I'm so sorry you're in this state of anxiety and I will pray for the Holy Spirit to come and fill you with his peace. I suffer from anxiety, in the past big time, so I understand the feelings you are having. You are not an awful person, you are just scared of what is happening.

    Father God. I pray that you would hear the cries of Greatgran, her fears, her anxieties, and remove them. Fill her with your Holy Spirit that she may have the courage and strength she needs so much this day so that she may be with her Mother. Fill her with your peace and make her understand that you are calling her Mother home this day to be forever in your presence. Let her know with a certainty that you are with her always even as she walks thru this dark day. This I ask in the name of our LOrd, Jesus Christ.

  3. cinnabarsib

    cinnabarsib New Member

    May Lord God give you peace in your spirit and body.Lord, you know Greatgran`s heart and how she is struggling with this most devestating loss. Let her know and feel joy that her Mother will be rejoicing in a home where there is no pain, no sorrow. We thank you Lord God for all blessings and love you give to Greatgran, Amen
    Greatgran, I understand the agony of panic attacks and this awful disorder~I have this myself~I`m thinking of you at this time and will continue in prayer for you~~ with hope and love~~~~~~~Sib
  4. Milo83

    Milo83 New Member

    Please don't be so hard on yourself.........
    You are not up to it, and the Dear Lord understands that...

    Even if you didn't have this horrible disease, there are some people that JUST CAN'T BE THERE, WHEN THE TIME GETS SO CLOSE...........
    You say, your hubby and brother went, GREATGRAN, THEY COULD SIT THERE FOR HOURS AND HOURS, and then when they just walk out of that room for a second, that is when she will pass..........

    You mentioned if you can get there, you will go - PLEASE DO NOT DRIVE YOURSELF......
    Stay at home if you have to, and pray that her suffering will be over shortly...
    You have been a great daughter, nothing to ever be ashamed of.........

    I will be keeping you in my thoughts and prayers.......
    Please update us with any news...........
    God Bless you, your family, and your Mother........

    Take Care.......Love, Donna
  5. dash

    dash New Member

    Please, please, please stop racking your poor spirit over this. You are not bad for not going to be with your mother.
    You know you love her and I am sure she knows it.

    Right now, she has one foot in heaven. From the people that I've known to pass on in the Lord,it is not a bad place to be.

    You are ill and its difficult enough to go through this when you are well. Only if you truly think you are able to go and desire to go, should you have someone take you.

    I am praying that her passing be peaceful for your family and that God comfort you with His love and presence. I am asking that your spiritual torment be lifted and you would be free from any guilt.

    God bless,
  6. tandy

    tandy New Member

    Hunny,...there is nothing easy about what spot your in.
    Please don't beat yourself up over this~
    Knowing a parent is dying is the absolute worse thing to go thru. I know also. I lost my Dad many yrs ago.
    I had the same troubles as you Greatgran~ Major anxiety!!
    I thought I'd pass out!! My heart was erratic!!
    My palms sweaty,lightheaded!! I was scared out of my wits! An uncontrolled total mess I was!!
    Even with meds!!
    I had a few bad panic attacks after my Dads passing too.
    Whenever I'd try to go visit my mom. The site of their house made me have a panic attack!! I could'nt bring myself to go to the house where my dad lived!!

    As terrible as this is gonna sound,...and please don't judge me for this. I did'nt even go to my Dads funeral.
    I could'nt. It breaks my heart to see you or anyone going thru this~ I never have regretted not going to his funeral. Its something I could'nt do. My father would'nt have held that against me,...not for a second!!

    Try to get yourself to go see Mom. But if you can't,you can't. (drop it)
    We're here for you~
    Big Hugs
  7. s-rose

    s-rose New Member

    I will pray for you. Please don't beat yourself up because you can't go. Each person deals with grief in their own way.

    I lost my mom 14 yrs ago this month. i felt guilty for a long time because it wasn't possible for me to see her the night she died. There was no reason for it. I'm sure your Mom Knows you love her and would be there if you could.

    I will pray that the Lord gives you comfort and strength.

    Love and Prayers,
    Susie Rose
  8. LindaH

    LindaH New Member

    I am praying for you to have the peace you need.
    May God put his loving arms around you and give you his grace and peace.

  9. greatgran

    greatgran Member

    Thanks so much to each of you and your prayers...I did not make it to see Mom before her passing but I did
    have my husband put the phone to her ear even though she was unresponsive..
    It was as she was waiting for me
    after I talked to her and told her it was okay to go...she did..
    Thank you so much your prayers.God has carried me and so far I have done
    very well..

    I will post more later
    My God Bless Each of you and the ones
    that suggested me speak to her by phone was heaven sent...

    Love to all
    greatgran, Phyllis

  10. s-rose

    s-rose New Member

    My heart and prayers are with you. I pray for the Lord to give you comfort.

    Love and Prayers,
    Susie Rose
  11. Sandyz

    Sandyz New Member

    I`m sorry you lost your mother. I will be praying for you and the rest of the family. Don`t feel bad that your weren`t there, I missed my dad`s death by minutes and so did my mother. We felt so bad until my aunt said he didn`t want you there to see him die. My brother was the only one with him because my sister and other brother had just left the room.

    I have heard this time and time again from different people. A family can be sitting with the loved one all day and finally take a half hour to go get something to eat and they choice that time to pass on. I think they instinctively know who can handle it and who can`t. Also, sometimes its hard for them to let go of this earth with alot of loved ones around.

    You did the right thing the way you handled it. I`m sure your mom understands. She is at home in heaven now and her suffering is over.