Need some advice re:working

Discussion in 'Fibromyalgia Main Forum' started by stevie_jay, Apr 21, 2006.

  1. stevie_jay

    stevie_jay New Member

    Hi all. I've been reading this board for sometime, and have only posted a few times, but now I really need some help and advice.

    I have had ME/CFS for a few years, but was only formally diagnosed last year. At this time, I had to take a few months off work because I was simply too exhausted and sore to do my job. My manager was quite understanding about this, and we worked at adjusting my hours when I came back.

    Since then, my health has improved quite a bit, and I have gradually increased my hours of work again. However, the last couple of weeks have been really busy and stressful, and I have had another relapse. This meant that yesterday and today I've had to call work and say I'm too ill to come in. My manager is absent, so I had to speak to the deputy manager. Yesterday he sounded ok, and told me to relax and see how I felt. When I called this morning however, he was extremely nasty and hurtful.

    He told me today that it was unacceptable that I was ill, and that it wasn't good enough. He said he deserves better and so does my manager. He also said that all my colleagues were angry that I kept getting ill and letting down the shop. He also asked why I increased my hours if I couldn't sustain them? He said he is going to discuss with my manager about me doing much less hours. I told him that I might make it in for tomorrow if I felt ok, and he told me not to bother, because he was fed up wondering whether or not I was coming in.

    I need some advice on what I should do now? I am so upset. I really love my job, but I hate the attitude and lack of understanding from my deputy manager. Should I call my manager and tell him my concerns, or take the matter even further?

    Any help would be appreciated. Steven
  2. sherri_baby

    sherri_baby New Member

    Hello, I am sorry that you are having such a hard time right now. I am still trying to hang on to my job right now too. I know it is hard dealing with people when they really don’t understand. I am lucky that my employers are very understanding.
    All I can tell you is that you have to worry about yourself and you can only do what you are physically able to do. Hang in there and I would talk to your manager because that is the person you need to deal with. I don’t know how you feel about it but I pray about things like this and it sometimes helps.

    Good luck and best wishes,
  3. jenni4736

    jenni4736 New Member


    I wish I had some advise for you but I am in the same boat struggling with the question, "is it time to stop working?" For me, I think the time has come... and it is very hard to accept.

    NO ONE besides those who have this DD could possibly understand it, especially not an employer. We still have trouble getting DR's and family who see us suffer daily to understand.

    If this boss is a real may be time to move on. If he's a good guy maybe you could try to explain the situation but the reality is he probably only cares how it effects HIM. IN other words, if he is having to find someone else to cover your scheduled's bothering HIS life. In that case he will probably NEVER get it.

    Sometimes life FORCES us to make changes...I truly hope you find your way...Maybe this will lead to something better for you. I hope that is does. Good luck!
  4. kimfibro

    kimfibro New Member

    that's rotten. we also need to keep in mind that not everyone knows what fm actually IS!

    has dr paperwork ever been presented to them?

    don't know which turn you should take tho. give yourself another day and mull it over.

    i hope you get the rest you need and deserve today.
  5. srh

    srh New Member

    There are several organizations that can help you. You have a disablilty and they can not increase your hours when you are unable to work them.
    Some information I obtained had the following resources for their article.

    Some are:
    ADA Information Center: 800-949-4232 -- Do a search and they might have a web site.

    Job Accomodation Network: 800-526-7234 Canada: 800-526-2262
    The website is
    This might be a West Va above, but possibly every state has their own.

    The Equal Employment Opportunity Commision (EEOC)
    Website is

    Hope this all helps.

    I'm getting to the point I was starting to look into all of them. They have all kinds of accomodations they have to give you by law.
    One is even to give you time to take a nap if needed.

    Check it out.
    [This Message was Edited on 04/22/2006]
  6. stevie_jay

    stevie_jay New Member

    I eventually ended up calling my actual boss (not the rude deputy) and complained about my deputy manager's rudeness. My boss said he understands and says that when all three of us are back in the shop next, we will have a formal discussion about it. He did say that I should not be made to feel bad for being ill, and he hopes it can all be sorted.

    Me too!

    Thanks again for your responses, and the advice you have given will also be taken on board!


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