Need Some advice

Discussion in 'Fibromyalgia Main Forum' started by morph, Jun 18, 2003.

  1. morph

    morph New Member

    I have recently been diagnosed with CFS. My partner and I are trying to understand CFS. I'm just worried that I am pushing her away, I can see myself doing it but cant stop myself. She is trying to support me but I'm just throwing it back in her face. We both need some help with how to deal with it. Can anyone help please
  2. elaine_p

    elaine_p New Member

    Morph, have you been able to figure out why you're pushing her away? Maybe you don't like to need help, or maybe she's being overhelpful, or something? (If that's the case, set limits. Tell her you'll ask her for help when you need it.) If you can and are willing, maybe see a counselor to help you come to terms with the illness, as well as how it impacts your life and relationships. I still see one after 6 years (only every 2 months, though).

    Otherwise all I can suggest is to educate yourself about CFS. I have an old Katrina Berne, PhD, book, but she has a new one people are talking about. Then there's "From Fatigued to Fantastic" by Jacob Tietelbaum, MD. If there's a local CFIDS Association chapter, find out when they meet. Sorry I'm not more helpful.
  3. elaine_p

    elaine_p New Member

    Somewhere I saw your other post about the same thing, that had an additional sentence or two.

    In some recent-ish post, I saw that a woman told her husband when it was a bad day. Then he'd know that if she snapped at him it was merely because of the illness, not about him. Hopefully your partner will be able to understand that it's not about her. Though I'm sure it will sometimes be hard to deal with for both of you.

    I feel bad when I yell at my cats and wish I could explain to them. My mom got really annoyed at me once when I did it (she got up to leave). I finally realized and told her that after I got sober and before I got sick, I didn't yell at them.

    - This illness makes us irritable.
    - We're also irritable because of the brain fog.
    - We're also irritable because we're flat out tired/exhausted (which makes it hard to control our emotions & responses).
    - We're sensitive to noise, which makes us irritable (at least in my case, with a talkative cat).
    - I think there's another thing, but can't remember. :)

    Maybe you could both go to the CFIDS meetings in your area, she may find some support there.