After a few days being calm, I get into confusion and fear again. These days I kept reading some articles from a website which was recommended by a Christian friend. Basically the articles're people's testimonies. After I read several of them, I felt bad and my mind is full of fear. I guess my faith is.....totally wrong. In those articles, they said we should pass all burdens and difficulties to God. God will give us an answer or solutions. We have to be patient, because the answer/solution may take a long time to arrive. And the answer/solution might not be what we expected. Some of the articles also said during the time of waiting/suffering, we MUST trust God. No matter how hard we feel, we shouldn't feel anxiety. It's almost a SIN (that's what the article said), we shouldn't have fear when we have passed everything to God. If we fear, then that's the wrong way in faith and we MIGHT NOT get any help from God (I hope I misunderstand this). Everyone has different characters. My friend and his wife seem to have strong faith naturally. and they "always" receive "good messages" from God. I know many people have this gifts. But frankly, I don't have this gift. I can't help to think things in a negative way. I do fear even when I pass my burden to God. If this is a SIN, I got nothing to say. Someone might say I choose to think and act in a negative way, not from God. But I just want to say who wants to stab himself? Who wants to light a match to burn the skin? I can't help!! I keep thinking these few points and I feel sad. I read self help books. They always said people need not to be perfectionists (especially who have depression) or they'll live in a stress way. But as to be a Christian, we MUST become perfect people according to Bible standard. I'm not sure whether it's right to post this message. Perhaps God is very unhappy. But people who are weak in faith and have suffered for a long time (like me), they're helpless They almost doubt everything.