Need some stress coping tips

Discussion in 'Fibromyalgia Main Forum' started by kaiasmom, Jun 22, 2006.

  1. kaiasmom

    kaiasmom New Member

    I tell you, when it rains, it pours. I feel funny saying that while it is 102 degrees outside, but it fits, so there you go! I could stand some rain actually - I think I'm about to melt!

    I've been posting here & there about my father of the year ex-husband lately, and his hurting his daughter. Well, in addition to that, which also hurts me tremendously as any mother knows, he is again $1,000 behind in his child support. This is the second time in the last 4 months that he has gotten this far behind. The last time (March & April) his mom & dad bailed him out, so we could pay our bills.

    Well, we are to a drowning point again. The creditors have started calling - one credit card company in particular has called twice in the last 10 days, which I consider harassment, especially since I sent them a payment in between phone calls.

    And when they call, they are very rude, and even when I explain the situation, they continue to tell me that I need to send money now, blah, blah, blah. How can I send money I don't have??? And, of course, this is one of the many bills we are juggling - it's not like they are the only one's not getting their money on time!

    Anyways, I have turned to my parents & my ex-husband's mom for money now, and am waiting for replies. I don't think it will be a problem, but I hate borrowing money, that I am going to have to pay back somehow, even though it is not my doing that got us in this situation.

    At any rate, I am stressed to the max over all of this & it is taking a toll on me, physically, mentally & emotionally. I am kind of a wreck! Any ideas or suggestions would be appreciated.

    [This Message was Edited on 06/22/2006]
  2. Marta608

    Marta608 Member

    It's been awhile since I relied on child support but can't you take the bum to court? He would pay your legal fees as a part of the settlement.

    Come to think of it, do you have a Friend of the Court where you are?

  3. tejanya

    tejanya New Member

    oh woman. tell the collectors that it is harressment to call as they are. there should be no calls after 9pm or before 8am. and not everyday or more than 1 a week. call legal aid about this. things have changed over the years. except, bill collectors. my daughter is now getting child support because the child support division is taking the money out of the donor's pay check. you were not put here for them to walk on. at some point harassment can make you feel terrorized. i know it is a popular term, but the emotional turmoil, being consistent makes your system feel terror. either from answering the phone or just hearing it ring. also, write down who called you and the day and time. you will need this to prove thier nonsense. have you tried a credit counseling company? it should not charge you (i am not sure), but it should give you a life where you can breathe.
    sit down,take a pillow, put it to your face (not enough to smother)and scream. you mite need to scream a few times for relief. the pillow doesn't let all know you have been pushed, but it does help with the stress. ever see lilo and stitch? they use the same procedure. can be an example to others that has stress that has gone extreme. my 29 yr daughter still makes me use this. i have yeled in the pillow a few times then went back to cook and excellent meal.

    don't forget hot relaxing baths. you must take time for yourself. when your child grows up and leaves, she'll remeber how loving and knowledgable mom is because she learned to take time for her child and herself. that is something we all need to do.

    oh yeah, this time you take can be 20, 60, 15 minutes. can even be more than once.

    hope this mite help some. always remeber, you have crossed alot of paths (col 1:12) on this site and we all care for each other. it must be that extra sensitivity we have. or just good hearts!

  4. kaiasmom

    kaiasmom New Member

    But, I'm sure you've heard the expression squeezing blood from a turnip, that's kind of what it would be like. He is a lazy bum, that has trouble holding down a job. He supposedly started a new one just this week - we will see if this one works out long enough for me to see anything out of it. I also can't afford a lawyer up front. I just don't think it would do any good, and do know it would be a lot more stress for me.

    I think I might just try the pillow excersise tonight when I get home from work - couldn't hurt, right?? Luckily my daughter is in Utah right now with the loser's family (not him, just the rest of his family) for a wedding, so she is getting a much needed break from the usual routines & is likely not thinking much about her stupid dad.

    So, it's just me, hubby & my step-son at home until Monday night. We're sending Cody to his grandma's for the weekend, and are planning on going to the credit union to see if they will take on the balance of the credit card that is harassing me - to get rid of them. I'm sure I'll get a better rate anyways, and may be able to consolidate a couple other things I have financed as well. Keep your figners crossed for me, please!!

    Well, thanks for your thoughts & caring. I appreciate it. Look forward to more replies.

    Thanks & hugs,


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