Need Something to HELP with Patience!!!!

Discussion in 'Fibromyalgia Main Forum' started by marinemom, Nov 3, 2002.

  1. marinemom

    marinemom New Member

    Good Day everyone! Hope all are well. Okay, hope all are okay, how's that! =)

    Just wondering if anyone out there could recommend a herb or mineral that would help me with my lack of patience? I am being treated for depression too, but I tend to run out of patience with my son, and I don't like that. Of course, he has learned which buttons to push, but that's a pre-teen for you!

    I just wondered if there was a calming "something" out there that I could take to relieve the stress or whatever it is. I've tried it on my own, and just can't get a handle on it. I almost get there, but not quite. That's why I was asking about a supplement.

    I've used Valarian Root, but it doesn't work. In fact, I give that to my son to help him at bedtime. I've tried the baths, but the effects don't seem to last but a few minutes.

    Help, anyone????

    (((((((((((Hugs))))))))))))
    Kathy
  2. marinemom

    marinemom New Member

    Good Day everyone! Hope all are well. Okay, hope all are okay, how's that! =)

    Just wondering if anyone out there could recommend a herb or mineral that would help me with my lack of patience? I am being treated for depression too, but I tend to run out of patience with my son, and I don't like that. Of course, he has learned which buttons to push, but that's a pre-teen for you!

    I just wondered if there was a calming "something" out there that I could take to relieve the stress or whatever it is. I've tried it on my own, and just can't get a handle on it. I almost get there, but not quite. That's why I was asking about a supplement.

    I've used Valarian Root, but it doesn't work. In fact, I give that to my son to help him at bedtime. I've tried the baths, but the effects don't seem to last but a few minutes.

    Help, anyone????

    (((((((((((Hugs))))))))))))
    Kathy
  3. Mikie

    Mikie Moderator

    Because I've always suffered from lack of patience too. Say the Prayer for Patience:

    God, give me patience...

    GIVE IT TO ME NOW!!!

    A little humor helps.

    Love, Mikie
  4. marinemom

    marinemom New Member

    Your response reminded me of a poem that I cross-stitched for my mother years ago. If I may....

    I want to thank you, Lord, for being close to me so far this day.

    With your help, I haven't been impatient, lost my temper, been grumpy, judgmental, or envious of anyone.

    BUT, I WILL be getting out of bed in a minute and I think

    I WILL really need your help then.

    Amen
  5. pam_d

    pam_d New Member

    You know, I used to think we Moms & Dads all needed about ten times the normal amount of patience to deal with toddlers...then a few years go by, and suddenly you have a teenager--- and you'd sell all your worldly possessions to have the toddler back!!!! I have a 13-year-old who basically is a sweet, loving girl, but can be totally exasperating at times, and why is it always when I'm at my tiredest or most painful moments?? I don't have any real answers for you, but I do understand the frustration. The one thing I can say is, forgive yourself when you lose patience (teens & pre-teens have even less patience than we do---everything has to be NOW, so they should understand) and try to grab a few moments for yourself for a bath, cup of tea, etc.--maybe the effect won't last, but a self-imposed "time out" for ourselves sometimes helps. I think that pre-teen & early teen time can be the hardest. Hopefully it'll get easier (I hope so!) Good luck to you, Kathy...

    Pam
  6. Mikie

    Mikie Moderator

    Hang in there; it does get better, but not for a while.

    Love, Mikie
  7. klutzo

    klutzo New Member

    Mothering is the most important and difficult job in the world. I salute you for being able to do it with these DD's! I don't have any kids, but I do have the patience problem, and it correlated directly with the loss of estrogen during perimenopause. You don't say how old you are, but I started at 37, probably due to the FMS, and was through menopause at 44. The patience problem was solved completely by estrogen replacement. Unfortunately, it also caused massive weight gain, so I am now off it, and my anger is so bad again, that I am hiding from people. My poor husband wants to hide from me! Our hormones get screwed up with these DD"s, so you may want to check it out if you haven't already.
    Best wishes,
    Klutzo
  8. JaciBart

    JaciBart Member

    I have been taking a tonic called melisana klosterfrau, it is not multi level, I do not think health food stores have it, you can find it on the web, it is not expensive, what I do is I take it as needed, up to 3 tspn a day, I take it i tspn at a time, when my sensory overload is high, it really does help.

    I think it is $17.50 per bottle, taste is not bad at all, I take it with a glass of water afterwards.

    Jaci
  9. Rain122865

    Rain122865 New Member

    ok I know this is going to sound really weird but here it goes.... I am very sensitive to sound and sometimes it just makes my ears grate and I have 8-10 teenagers in my house at all times so mulitply the sound of one by 10.....10 T.V.'s 10 stereos 10 LOUD voices and that is if they have no friends over. What I do is (no I am not insane) is play heavy metal I like Disturbed for this and I play it as loud as it will go, have no idea why or how it works but it does it is like sensory overload resets me? And I use it for other stressing things too not just when it is the noise that is bothering me I think the overassualt on my nerves kind of reboots my system? Kids sometimes think I am nuts but hey 30 mins of loud heavy metal works for me ..and no I do not like heavy metal! lol
  10. Shirl

    Shirl New Member

    The greatest thing I found for patience is Magnesium, its a natural tranqualizer, and its great for the Fibro pain too.

    Even my husband is surprised how calm I am these days under stress.

    I take the Pro Energy,Malic Acid and Magnesium, and also the ZMA zinc, magnesium and Vitamin B-6 (this I take for sleep) you might want to ask your doctor if this would be good for your son, I sleep deeply for 7-8 hours a night now.

    NOw, I can 'lose' it if things get really bad, but small things I can deal with without blowing up now.

    I was really challenged a few weeks ago with my granddaughter, she left home, was staying with some real bad people, had no idea what she was getting herself into and had the entire family in an uproar. I was the only one who stayed calm.

    Finally she got to my house, I called her father, did not let her know I did so, and when he arrived she was fit to be tied! If she though she could have gotten away with it, she would have kicked my butt!

    She is 19 going on 14, as for as 'street smarts' are concerned, she was raised in a small town in Mississippi, and really does not know what big city kids can be like.

    Well, I amazed myself, I got her Dad here, her ranting and raving did not ruffle my feathers, and I made it perfectly clear she was not going anywhere unless she went home with her Dad. To make a long story short, she ran out into the night when she realized I meant exactly what I said, and a week later she was on the phone begging her Dad to come get here in the middle of a Hurricane! He did, and she is home where she belongs now.

    Ordinarily, she would have got the back of my hand, as I have no patience with rebellious children, mine can tell you, I was a great Mom, but don't cross me, I was quick with my hands, and meant what I said the first time around. I did not repeat myself with them at all.

    I handled the whole situation without losing it, and believe me, she was enough to make an angel lose it.

    I can only credit this to the magnesium! This is not me at all, especially with kids.

    You can get this from Pro Health, at the 'Store', it really does help us in times of stress.

    As for your son, you don't let him know which 'buttons' he can push! If you are stern, he will have no choice but to do as he is told.
    I always told my kids, when I though they were smarter than I, then they could tell me what to do, in the mean time, my word was law (they are all grown now, but believe me, my word is still law, even though the two boys tower over me!
    Just today, I heard my son telling his sixteen year old the exact same thing I told him many years ago!

    Shalom, Shirl
    [This Message was Edited on 11/04/2002]
    [This Message was Edited on 11/04/2002]
  11. RoseTx

    RoseTx New Member

    I have a 12 year old grandson who is just an Einstein. This child is the smartest human that ever walled the earth. He knows the answer to everything and can not figgure out how he can be so smart and the rest of his family (especially me) be so incrediably stupid. If any of you lack wisdom, just ask Caleb. He knows everything. I take Paxil because I don't want to be tried for murder. If my doctor wouldn't give me Paxil I would run away from home because it would be that or wring Caleb's scrawny little neck. OMG, what a way for a Granny to talk. There is my bit of wisdom for the day. Hugs, Rose
  12. Shirl

    Shirl New Member

    That was an enlightening post!!!!! My granddaughter sounds like your grandson! Think we could put them in the same 'Boot Camp'???

    My grandson is a jewel, I raise him till he was almost 5 years old, and he got his bottom smacked quite a few times from me, but he and I are great friends till this day, he is sixteen now, 5'10 and 180lbs, yes, he plays football. He loves his "MA" as he calls me, and does not back talk me at all. If his parents have a problem with him, they will call me, and he and I will talk, and I usually can get things cleared up.

    But my granddaughter is another story! I would be in jail for adult abuse now as she is of age! She refuse to live with me, she says I am out right 'mean'! She is a spoiled brat, thanks to my oldest son, her Dad (these two are both my sons kids, one each).

    Loved your post, but I would give him the 'Paxil'!

    Shalom, Shirl
  13. marinemom

    marinemom New Member

    You sound JUST LIKE ME! My first son, whom I raised alone went to Marine Boot Camp and said it was home away from home. I personally took that as a compliment! =)

    I WILL try the magnesium. How much do you take? How often? Do you hide the butcher knives for a period of time?

    Thanks to all for the responses. I'm at my wits end. Just found out that my Uncle passed away last the night. It seems to be a heart attack. Not less than 3 weeks ago, my Aunt was killed in a head on collision. Six weeks ago, a very good friend of mine called to tell me that her doctor told her she had only 3 months to live due to lung cancer. I am miles away from home, (from NC to TX where I now live) so going back isn't an option right now. But, between that, my youngest son, who MAY just live to see 13, my hubby who is MIA (working away from home) and my oldest who has been stationed overseas and has been told that he won't be getting out this month. Instead, he has been extended until April or May, depending. All this and Fibro, well, sorry Karen, but jumping off the fridge sounds better and better every day!

    I can't remember who posted about the heavy metal music and 8-10 teens in their house. Sorry, Rain. Had to go back and look. (I blame THAT on the ozone layer), but with 8-10 teens in the house, heavy metal sounds like calming sounds you would play like a rippling brook! Sorry, couldn't resist. =)

    Rose, it sounds like we need to lock your grandson and my son up in a room together! They will totally drive each other crazy trying to outdo each other! You see, my son, too knows EVERYTHING! You can ask him! He'll tell you. Same as your grandson. Wouldn't it be a hoot if we could actually do that! I would love to be a fly on the wall. How many times do you reckon they would come running out to validate what they "know" by asking us?

    ((((((((((((((((((Hugs))))))))))))))))))
    Kathy
    [This Message was Edited on 11/04/2002]
  14. srosepetal77

    srosepetal77 New Member

    i feel for you I have no patience at all it takes time to learn to be calm and although you don't have known you can relax and it's hard to work threw i would take zoloft to calm me down and my hubby when i wasn't taking it said to take the mean pills but i have to make achange and do things differently my answer it takes time
  15. marinemom

    marinemom New Member

    bumping for Shirl
  16. lucky

    lucky New Member

    You are on your right track with the Klosterfrau Melissengeist. It is a German product and I believe the soothing effect of it is because there is a little amount of alcohol in it. Check it out and let me know please. Lucky
  17. JaciBart

    JaciBart Member

    I have been for about 2 weeks, I love it, I really do think it does help, I take it as needed 1 tspn at a time and I do get instant relief from my racing mind, my massage therapist here in town sells it for 10.50 per bottle, the internet has it also for 17.50.

    Just wondering if I was missing anything, I know this works, I have not tried the licorice root thing.

    Jaci
  18. lucky

    lucky New Member

    Jacibart. I am not surprised that the Klosterfrau Melissengeist is helping a little. Growing up in Germany, I did not know any woman going through mid-life who did not take Klosterfrau..... for almost everything that was ailing her. There must be some truth in it after all.
    I can get it here in Toronto at a German store and will see for myself what is in it and why women are still buying it. Will keep you posted and take care, Lucky
  19. Mikie

    Mikie Moderator

    I have to say that if I were only allowed to keep one of my meds/supplements, I would have to choose the Klonopin (same family as Valium).

    Love, Mikie
  20. queenbee69

    queenbee69 New Member

    Good morning! I dont have any medical advice for you on your problem with patience, just a few words from someone who has been there and still is. I have 2 daughters, 23 and 26. They cannot be any different from eachother. My youngest has been putting me under stress since she was 13 years old. It started with running away and progressed to going through the court system almost every other month. She started having kids at age 17 and eventually had 4. She was beaten by her boyfriend and hospitalized. As we speak she is missing, due to drug abuse. Theres not a day that goes by that I don;t miss her and wish only to get a glimpse of her. We all love our kids(and grankids) and being a parent is the hardest job in the world,if anything is taken away from this post, please just let it be that no matter how trying the situation and how hard these kids push, be thankful you have them there with you! God knows that it's not easy at times,but please hang in there! Sorry this was so long i guess I'm just venting! My best to all who is enduring this pain! Thanks for listening...queenbee69