Need tips about teaching my son to drive...

Discussion in 'Chit Chat' started by kat2002, Nov 24, 2007.

  1. kat2002

    kat2002 New Member

    My older son has just gotten his learner permit. Now it is up to me to teach him the driving part. Most days in spite of my FM I am still able to drive. I just don't have any idea where or how to begin teaching him!

    If anyone would like to share ideas or tips, I will greatly appreciate it!

  2. joyfully

    joyfully New Member

    Has he had any driving experience at all?

    If not, signing him up for a course may be a good stress reliever.

    What I did with my son. I'd drive with him in the car until we got into a very quiet subdivision or in the country.

    THEN, I'd let him drive. It is best if you don't yell, but the yelling in inevitable. You will believe there is an imaginary brake pedal on the front passenger side of the car and you will be pressing on that imaginary brake pedal as you are telling him to stop.

    My son came home with the paperwork to get his driver's license. I told him," you may have passed their tests, but you haven't passed mine. I am responsible for your driving, and I have to be comfortable that you won't injure yourself or any family in another car. You would never forgive yourself if you killed someone."

    He was 16 years and 11 months old before I allowed him to get the license. While we were still in the motor vehicle place I told him that they may have given him the license, but if I saw him hot rodding around, I'd take it away and send it back to the state of N. Carolina."

    I didn't allow ANY OF HIS FRIENDS to ride with him for the first 6 months after he got the license. I knew that he needed to focus on his driving, and his friends would be a distraction.

    I also told him that I would be checking on his driving when he didn't know I was watching----and if I saw him driving in an unsafe manner, I'd take the license away.

    I know this sounds pretty controlling, but I was responsible for his safety. Teenagers don't always use common sense. They don't have all the "life experience" to make good decisions.

    I didn't want to have anyone hurt by my son's driving.

    Since my son was slightly older than the 3 other guys he hung out with in HS, their parents would rely upon me to set the precedent. They were always very comfortable in establishing the same guidelines that I had set up for my son.

    It worked out very well for all 4 of them.


    Once I felt my son was driving well in quiet subdivisions, then I began allowing him to drive to school with me sitting in the front seat (he still only had a driver's permit).

    Things would happen that he didn't expect. I was able to help him make decisions as we weaved around accident sites, a car that had caught on fire, a boat that wasn't properly secured onto the truck that was pulling it, etc.

    He slowly learned to look farther ahead so things didn't just pop up on him. He learned not to tail gate (this drove me bonkers).

    It is the tailgating that will really set off the FM. If you are like me, your body will be so tense in anticipation of hitting the car ahead of you. That is why I think the other member's suggestion to have him do the driver's Education road work would be a good suggestion.
    Then you can work with him after he takes the driving course.

  3. rockgor

    rockgor Well-Known Member

    it depends on the relationship you already have w/ your son. I taught my son to drive. We used to practice in empty parking lots on weekends.

    On the other hand I couldn't teach my sister anything. I got her a job when she moved to Calif. and tried to teach her what she needed to know to advance.

    She gave up the job, the almost-free college tuition in Calif. and went back to Minnesota to marry some loser w/ a nasty personality.

    She wasn't interested in learning anything. She just wanted to show how independent she was.

    And she was too.

    Good luck

  4. victoria

    victoria New Member

    and then like Joyfully suggested, quiet subdivisions with no kids outside running around. Actually I don't see many kids out ever in any subdivision anymore tho, but that's another post!

    I always took my kids to start on a Sunday AM at the local mall parking lot. It really helped a lot to give them confidence and practice going up and down lanes, parking, stopping at stop signs etc. Adjacent to the mall in back was a handy quiet subdivision.

    I feel lucky that their Dad took them too - actually he had a stronger stomach than I did.

    Two of the most important things I was taught in driver's ed (none here in schools sadly) and tried to impress on my kids was

    1- never listen to other passengers' in the car as to how to drive etc (other than your parent of course!) since the driver was ultimately responsible - so if I wasn't sure, don't go on and do something just cuz someone else in the car said things were clear.

    2- assume that every other driver or pedestrian is an idiot. They usually are. As in, assume nobody's blinker is "on" or "off" intentionally, etc.

    Good luck, I am glad we're past that. If there had been a local course, I would've gladly signed them up in addition to practicing with us.

    all the best,

    [This Message was Edited on 11/24/2007]
  5. harmony21

    harmony21 New Member

    I had problems teaching my sons to drive, they had a few with me but I encouraged them to take professional driving lessons, yeah expensive maybe but saner in the end

    Sometimes a friends parrent not a bad idea either as they have more authority with the ones driving then poor old mum

    Good luck

    angel hugs
  6. pumpkinpatch

    pumpkinpatch New Member

    My son Lee got his Learners in October and I've also been taking him out to drive. Let me tell you my blonde hair is soon going to be white!! From pure fright!! I swear he thinks he is the next Mario Andretti, taking the corners on it seems like 2 wheels!! I'm in the passenger seat with my foot on my brake. I spend the whole time trying to correct him and he gets upset so yes DRIVERS ED is the best remedy for this.
  7. therealmadscientist

    therealmadscientist New Member

    I thought all kids nowadays learned by playing video games.

    Give some of your experiences of course. Like, I almost fell asleep when......

    suggest "always look before backing up"

    Look twice instead of just once.

    Assume that all turn signals, and drivers, are "broken".

    Try never to drive faster than can see and stop.

    If huge sandstorm or view blocking smoke, take a right turn into the fields and get far from highway.

    Would be nice if could take them out on a safe race track and let them experience just how fast accidents can happen.

  8. jmcdelaney

    jmcdelaney New Member

    Already crashed my new Tacoma! (It was totally one of those lack of experience accidents...looked too long in the rearview mirror and the car in front of him stopped)

    So here's my advice...

    Go to a quiet parking lot, switch seats, grab a fingernail file, kick your shoes off and put your feet on the dashboard.

    Buckle up, start filing your nails and just tell him how to drive.

    Start with the basics...adjust mirrors, where the different switches are etc.

    Whatever you do...whatever he does...DO NOT JUMP OR SCREAM.


    I really mean this...stay calm at all costs.

    Because there will be a day when you are approaching a red light, and you say "slow down...SLOW down...SLOW DOWN...STOPPPPPP! NOT IN THE MIDDLE OF THE INTERSECTION!!!"

    And then he'll know he needs to really pay attention.


  9. kat2002

    kat2002 New Member

    I appreciate each of you for taking time to answer my post. When I learned to drive, driver ed was a regular class at my high school - I wish they still had something like that. Now it is taught at a career center here and costs $175 for six hours of lessons.

    I have gotten some good tips from your replies, and have enjoyed reading about your experiences. I think I am going to give teaching him a try, and see how it goes. Wish me luck! lol