Need to help hubby

Discussion in 'Fibromyalgia Main Forum' started by Charleen, Sep 14, 2006.

  1. Charleen

    Charleen New Member

    I am at a loss. My hubby is always been the strong one and I am the one with all the problems, but now the tables are turned and I need some advice.
    My hubby is on his third fmla (family leave of absent). He has a bully for a boss. To tell you how cruel this boss is one of my hubby's coworkers who is also friends with my hubby had a stress heart attact at work and the boss was laughing at this man while the EMT's were putting him into the amblunce.
    We have contact everyone that people have told us too from lawyers to the eeoc. So far no one is willing to help my hubby because he is a man. I could not tell you how many times we were told if you were a woman you would have a federal case.
    My problem is that he is in sever depression. The only other time he has ever been depressed was when his mom died and he came out of that.
    He is seeing a very good therpist and we have a terrific doctor. But I do not know how to help him. I love this man very much we have been married for 31 years and already been through so much. I hold him when he cries and he thinks that is wrong. He thinks that he needs to be strong for me becuse of my medical problems.
    Maybe I just need to vent but if someone can tell me thing to help him I would do anything.
    Thanks for listening
  2. 143alan

    143alan New Member

    Maybe it would help him to look for another job. I'm sorry for what the both of you are going through. You sound like a really sweet couple and it's so hard to find a man that understands what we deal with and is apparently so patient.

    Depression is such a scarey thing and I know doing anything about it, is way easier said that done. Good lucky honey.
  3. azbubba

    azbubba New Member

    It really sounds like you're doing a great job of being supportive.

    Please, also remember, that true depression is an illness. I had to learn a saying when supporting my ex-wife who also had a mental illness:

    I didn't cause it,
    and I can't cure it.

    Sometimes, the best thing we can do for someone else is point them in the right direction for help. If he expresses suicidal thoughts, that is an emergency, and if it's severe enough, a call to 911 is the right thing to do. If he needs counseling, don't be afraid to reach out and get it for him. I used to be a very strong person, but even I realized I couldn't be everything to my ex.

    <a href="http://www.nami.org/Template.cfm?Section=your_local_NAMI&Template=/CustomSource/AffiliateFinder.cfm&State=KY">Here</a> is a link of some local resources that might be able to help you support him.

    Hope this helps.
    Bubba