Discussion in 'Fibromyalgia Main Forum' started by poeticbobbi, Apr 27, 2007.

  1. poeticbobbi

    poeticbobbi New Member

    I am pooped,stressed,depressed and all around feelin like crap.
    Didn't get much sleep last night,haven't been lately.I tried explaining to my boyfriend that when he tosses and turns,grinds his teeth, burps and talks I can't stay in the room with him.I wind up sleeping on the couch which he takes personal.Gosh,why can't people just understand what we are telling them??Our symptoms are not make believe,and our lives are not typical.So frustrating!!I don't have the time or the energy to pacify anyone when I am trying to keep my own head on straight.Oops, sorry, Im venting again.
    I need a vacation from my life for a few MONTHS.Maybe when I return everyone in my life will have grown up.They are supposed to be adults but I can't see it.
  2. jole

    jole Member

    My hubby is one to toss and turn, taking up most of the bed. I will just sneak out to the guest room and sleep in there, or go watch t.v. the rest of the night. He always feels badly when he gets up and I'm not there, but he understands.

    The fact is, we need our sleep, and it's up to us to see that we get it. They are not at fault for being human and "themselves". I don't think it's fair of us to expect them to change everything for us, even though we would sometimes like for them to, especially when we are in so much pain and sooo tired.

    I hope you can find something that works for you....and if you get that vacation, let me know how you did it 'cause I could sure use one too!!!!!
  3. Hairymel

    Hairymel New Member


    I hate to sleep with any one. I have a wonderful Husband and 3 great boys...but I want my bed to myself. I need to move and switch positions many times a night and I get hot then cold and anything wakes me up so I like to be by myself..not to mention I'm with them all day stepping and fetching for them even though I'm in constant pain..they just don't understand and my 5 year old dosen't really's the age. So I like my alone time and in bed seems to be the only place I can get it. I have an audience every place else..including the bath room. Nobody here understands and they even get a bit insulted so I sometimes just wait till all are asleep and sneak off to find a spotas comfortable and scluded as possible.Hope you can work it out with your B.F.

  4. poeticbobbi

    poeticbobbi New Member

    Perhaps if I started the night out on the couch(which is more comfortable than my bed anyway)and then get in bed with my BF after my first of ten trips to the bathroom around 3am,maybe by then he'd be done tossin.It is so difficult trying to get him not to take this personal.I keep tryin to tell him this one ain't about him, its about me right now.I'm trying to go easy but it ain't a simple thing.
    Lately I've been so depressed and a little sleep would be nice.Plus today it is chilly and rainy here in CONNECTICUT so I am in pain with no meds cause Im already broke out from my migraine meds.
    I feel like someone is swinging an object in front of me saying "YOU ARE GETTING SLEEPY,SLEEPY" and just as I give in to a full head knodded dose they say "HA HA--WAKE UP".
  5. razorqueen

    razorqueen Member

    Men tend to think everything is about them,,,,,, just kiddin!

    I am just like you. In fact, after 21 yrs of marriage we have separate bedrooms. First we started with a split king size bed, cause his constant twitching and moving would move the bed, and I wouldn't be able to sleep. Plus he has Sleep Apnea, and snores like crazy. He has a cpap machine, but doesn't use it.

    Then <b>my</b> sleep started getting messed up. Couldn't sleep til 3 am, and I was disturbing <b>him!</b>

    We finally realized that sleep was alot more important for both of us then the fact that we were sleeping in the same bed. Doesn't mean you can't have your snuggle time etc. Doesn't mean you don't love each other. In fact, to me, it means that you care enough about the other that you will do what is necessary to help them cope!

    They say the new rage is to have 2 master bedrooms!.....

    [This Message was Edited on 04/27/2007]
  6. poeticbobbi

    poeticbobbi New Member

    I needed to hear that.I appreciate everyones input.
    I'm hoping my BF catches on soon!! So far he ain't interested enough to read up on FM and all its ugly symptoms.Hes a neat freak so I try to stay on top of house work.Well I am a bit of a neat freak too,so I sometimes do things in slow motion all day while he is at work (ten hours).So he doesn't really know how difficult things can be.I tend to hide my pain when possible and am ashamed when I am too exhausted to do anything.But at this point I think I am gonna push the issue of him learning about this illness,cause I gotta put me first on this one, ya know. If he really loves me,it is time to put his money where his mouth is, so to speak.
  7. Empower

    Empower New Member

    I sleep alone, even kicked the dog out!!!

    Hubby snores, tosses and turns. Dog has dreams in her sleeps and makes barking noises.

    I DEFINITELY feel better getting some sleep!!

    Hubby and dog are not happy. Dog will sit outside my bedroom door looking so rejected, breaks my heart
  8. Bunchy

    Bunchy New Member


    My hubby went through a phase last year when he tossed and turned all night and snored BADLY. I kicked him out for months.

    Now we have moved house, we got a huge bed with two bases and two mattresses that can be linked together or pulled apart however you like.

    We sleep with them mostly an inch apart so I can't feel him move at all and hubby has stopped least, for now.

    I find on the odd night he still snores a bit, if he sniffs some Vicks inhaler (for colds/sinus problems) and turns over, he stops snoring again.

    Don't give up and good luck,

    Love Bunchy x
  9. JLH

    JLH New Member

    My hubby and I have been married 35+ years and we have slept in separate beds for the last 30 years at least.

    He is 6'4" and always wanted to sleep with his feet on my side of the bed because his feet hung over the double bed and hit the footboard. He snores extremely loud, rolls over with ALL of the covers, and would always end up pushing me to the edge of the bed.

    I got sick of this and never getting any sleep while he slept fine. I had to get up at 4:30 a.m. to get ready for work and drive for over an hour to get to work, while he slept in until 7:00 am and drove 10 minutes to his office. So, I always had to find someplace else to sleep and then could not hear my alarm--he would sleep through it. So, we got another bed and HE went to it!!

    Now, all these years later, all of our kids are grown and gone, so we both have our own bedrooms now. How great! His snoring doesn't bother me and my noise of the oxygen concentrator, CPAP machine, and TV do not bother him!

    Life is so much better now that we both have an entire large bed to ourselves!!

    And ... just because we both have separate bedrooms doesn't mean that we can't "visit" each other!!! LOL

[ advertisement ]