Needing prayer

Discussion in 'Spirituality/Worship' started by Sunshyne1027, May 5, 2004.

  1. Sunshyne1027

    Sunshyne1027 New Member

    Hi everyone, just stopping in to say hello. Been awhile. Life and bad health has kept me away.

    I already posted on the FM board last week, about whats going on with my health. I was in another rear end car accident back in April. Got a MRI done, and the results were not great at all. Got herniated disks on the cervical, C4-C5, and its pressing in on the spinal cord. The lumbar is not great either, degenerative disk disease from L 3-S1, protuding herniated disks on L4 and L5. Perineural cysts also found on the bottom of the spinal cord, in the S section. Been referred out to a neurosurgeon, go there on May 18th. Most likely surgery soon, on the Cervical first.

    My husband is still not great either healthwise. He too may have surgery about the same time I will. On the neck. From a work related accident 2 years ago. He will probably not be able to work for quite awhile.

    Its alot to handle, am handling it the best I can. Though at times I think I can handle it better than I have been doing. I am moody, depressed, not myself.

    Some of you know how its been a struggle to work for quite awhile now. I have given that up. I just don't think that is the path to take right now, and then I can't work anyways, with the pain I am in. Its just trying to figure out what to do with my life. What to do if I cannot work.

    Having marriage difficulties right now also. Lack of communication. When I do communicte, it feels like he does not listen to what I have to say. I feel like he can give more support emotionally, physically than he is right now, has been doing for like forever, is how I feel.

    Got a call earlier from a SIL. She has been in the hospital all week. Started out with her just not feeling well, then a swollen heart and other symptoms. She has been diagnosed with Lupus, and Fibromyagia. My husband let her know, that I can help her. Give her support and or guidance into the right directions with it all. At first I felt like its a big burden. That I cannot handle that right now. Setting boundaries. But then my heart gives in and I want to help her. To begin with, I don't get along with her well.

    So, here I am up late, was in bed ready to doze off. Since I do not talk to her well, writing should work. Write what I feel, about what to expect with Lupus and Fibro. What changes she should make, what treatments she should seek. Then of course, we all have our own paths to lead. Our own lessons to learn. Can only help someone so much, yet they got to do the hard work. The growing and learning work.

    Had a bad day today pain wise. The neck and back, then my time of month, the cramps, the pain. Couldn't do much but take it easy, sit in the yard. Though I did enjoy that time. I needed the break. I am still dieting, doing low carb. Lost around 50 pounds so far.

    Wanted to mention Wanda. She is back in the hospital. She is doing chemo one week, then bone marrow transplant the second week, then recovery, and hopefully if nothing goes wrong, back home for awhile. While she was home for a bit there, we got to spend some nice time together.

    That about wraps it up. I just felt the need to come here, write out my feelings and all that is going on in my life right now. Prayer would be appreciated.

    Sunshyne

  2. monkeykat

    monkeykat Member

    Hi Sunshyne,
    Glad to have you back. I'm pretty new to the board so you probably don't know me yet.

    Wow! You're going through an awful lot. I'm also having a very bad day!!! It's 1:41am and I'm going to go to bed now. I will pray for you as I go to sleep tonight:)

    I will pray my favorite prayer for you Eph 3:16ff
    May God grant you strength, love, gift of faith and peace that passes understanding tonight as you look to him!!!
    Kathy

    PS: Good job on the weight loss!!! I'm so proud of you.
    [This Message was Edited on 05/05/2004]
  3. Sandyz

    Sandyz New Member

    Its good to have you back! I`m sorry things have been so hard for you. When things get like this all you can do is give it to God and ask him to help you work it all out.

    I will be praying for you and your husband and also your friend Wanda.

    Love,
    Sandy
  4. Sunshyne1027

    Sunshyne1027 New Member

    Thank you both for the prayers and support. I will just hand it over to God.

    I did for awhile, got out of going to church regularly. Even got out of the habit of praying daily, or even meditate. I been getting more back into it, and its helping alot. I keep getting invited to join in on a home group. My church has many home group meetings in the different communities around here. Which includes prayer too. Its on Monday evenings. So, my husband and I think we will give it a try. The pastor of our church keeps recomending this.

    While Wanda was out of the hospital. I attended a function at her church. Met some new Christian friends.

    Thanks again.

    :)

  5. NewEnglander

    NewEnglander New Member

    I am very sorry for all that you are going through right now. I could really ralate to your post.
    I am praying for you
    congratulations on your weight loss, that is so great.
    please hang in there
    Love Lisa
  6. Sunshyne1027

    Sunshyne1027 New Member

    NewEnglander, glad you could relate to the post. Thats a good feeling!

    Debbie, I think of you too alot, I missed you while I was away. How are things with you?

    Going to be gone for the weekend, everyone have a wonderful weekend, and a Mothers Day!

  7. Sunshyne1027

    Sunshyne1027 New Member

    Just adding in a update, instead of adding another post and prayer request.

    I am tired of the non-support in all areas of my life, from my husband. Its a one way street. I am filing for a divorce. Looking into subsidized housing next week. It was a hard choice to come to. Its the best way for all concerned, including the boys. We fight all the time. Friday night, it turned violent. I fear for my safety now. So, doing what I have to do. Its been a long time coming. I should have gotton out awhile back, but let it drag on, in hopes it could be saved, worked through. I guess not. After all the happened over the weekend, I sat down alone. Looking for answers within, they came easily. I do not think God wants me to live so unhappy, and unsafe. Its time to move on, start over. Been married 20 years. Most of the years are bad memories.

    Prayers again would be appreciated.
  8. Sunshyne1027

    Sunshyne1027 New Member

    It took alot of work. It took alot of self reflecting. If it weren't for God in my life, showing me what love is really about, I would not be where I am right now.

    I was abused when growing up. I went from that into a marriage that was abusive also. I see it all now. The controlling behavior, isolation. God does not want me to live like this, he has better plans for me. I do deserve support, you are right. He has had many chances to support me, and the boys.

    Sitting in church this morning was hard. It was like sitting next to him, and it was so fake feeling. Looking like a great family, but not, its a hurting family. He is good at making it look different and OK to others.

    Had a good experience though. The pastor was into the message, and asking the holy spirit to come. I felt it. I felt this tingling over and over all around my heart, shoulders and head. He asked all who felt like this, to come forward for prayer. Nothing was going to hold me back.It was totally awesome! It felt good, because all sorts of things was going through my brain at the time, thoughts about divorcing.

    Tomorrow morning, doing alot of phone calling. Its time to heal. Its time to love.