Nervous. Very Very Nervous. NEED ADVICE!!!!

Discussion in 'Fibromyalgia Main Forum' started by Newswoman, Feb 6, 2003.

  1. Newswoman

    Newswoman New Member

    I requested a meeting with my supervisor's boss because I really need to telecommute two days out of the week. I am averaging less than two hours sleep a night. The fatigue is killing me. My supervisor told me she wasn't going to discuss the situation anymore and that I needed to go to the CFO (the local head of our company and the human resources person) if I wasn't happy with her decision. She told me all that even after I told her several times that she was violating ADA.

    I sent an e-mail to the CFO at 8:30 this morning. I didn't hear from her, so I dropped by her office. She told me that she would meet with me tomorrow (Friday). This doesn't look like good sign. A few minutes ago, I heard her ask another employee if they had received an e-mail from her. It wasn't as if her computer was broken. I'm under the impression that the CFO wasn't even going to respond to my e-mail had I not dropped by her office.

    I'm already nervous about the meeting because if this doesn't go well, my next step is to e-mail the head of the company or file an EEO complaint. I can't leave the job because I need the money and the benefits.

    I don't know what my supervisor has or hasn't told the CFO, because the CFO never asked me about my side the story. I kind of hope my supervisor never mentioned that I told her about ADA guidelines and that I provided her with printouts about FMS, hidden disablities, ADA guidelines, and information from JAN about fibromyalgia. It's not like the CFO is excused from not knowing the law, but it does show that my supervisor had something to hide.

    My mother, who worked for EEO for nearly 20 years, told me not to go outside of my illness. I don't think, however, that I cannot tactfully mention that I have repeatedly told my supervisor that what they were doing violated federal and state laws. I guess I want to convey to her that I'm not some brat who's stomping her feet and throwing a tantrum becasue she didn't get her way. This is my health.

    My supervisor told me that she didn't think I needed two days to telecommute and that since I was coming to work every day and doing the work, I couldn't be all that sick. She even told me several times that if I didn't like how the situation was being handled, I should think about looking for another job.

    Should I include (in a roundabout way) what my supervisor told me when I speak to the CFO? I want her to understand the severity of what this supervisor is doing. This woman could get the company sued, and ruin my health in the process (although I know she would be more concerned about being sued).

  2. Newswoman

    Newswoman New Member


    You saying that you think I'm displaying dignity and strength means a lot to me. I've even thought about not writing on this message board anymore about this situation because I don't want to sound like I'm constantly whining and complaining. I'm sure a lot of people have been through what I'm enduring in some way, shape or form. I just don't want to overload people with my problems. Does what I'm saying make sense?

    I know that I am probably going to have to seek an attorney. Believe me. When this situation first started, I made a beeline for the discrimiation attorneys section of my phone book. I want to resolve this as peacefully as possible. I want to exhaust every avenue before I have to get out the "big guns." Getting an attorney at the outset would have antagonized everyone involved. This is already a difficult situation. I didn't need to add more fuel to the fire.

    If the CFO still doesn't correct the situation, I will consult with an attorney and file an EEO complaint. I would be left with no other choice. I understand that I need an attorney, but in an EEO case you have exhaust all the chains of command. If you don't go to EVERYONE in the company that could help you, a judge will rule that had the plantiff followed the chain of command, the situation may have not led to litigation. EEO also doesn't take on cases where other measures could have been taken. Yeah. It's sad that that is how Corporate America and our federal government operates, but it's unfortunately how the game is played.

    Most people in our situation don't play the game because it's long, tedious, depressing, and engery-zapping. We'll see how long I can endure this. In the meantime, I will focus on your positive comments.

    Thanks again.
  3. judywhit

    judywhit New Member

    to post and keep us updated. We are all dealing with the same issues here just a different twist. I just cut down from 6 to 3 hrs per day on my job 2 weeks ago. I was just resting before I logged on and was worrying about how long my doctors note will satisfy my employer. The letter did say until further notice, but??? I commend you for your perserverance this must be exhausting for you. I think the suggestion about an attorney is your best option. At my work we are required never to go into our bosses offices without our union rep when discussing personal matters. Which somethimes is a drag but for the biggies it is essential. I am fortunate to have a union behind me on my health issue. Newslady do not go into that office alone the fibrofog is a HUGE issue. PLEASE KEEP US POSTED! BTW, I look for your posts...We care!!!!
    Be blessed,
  4. teach6

    teach6 New Member

    I agree that consulting an attorney now is a very good idea. That doesn't mean you have to take an attorney to your meeting, but an attorney can tell you what to say and what not to say, so as not to jeopardize your case.

    I know how frustrating it is to have to hire an attorney to get what should be rightfully ours. I had to hire one to help me get my disability retirement, all because the state chose to believe the psychiatrist they hired to the exclusion of all other evidence, even that which was in direct oppostion to what he wrote in his opinion.

  5. judywhit

    judywhit New Member

    you are a very smart lady and I am sure you are keeping a paper chain here. DOCUMENT everything.
  6. Newswoman

    Newswoman New Member

    SUCKED!!! He just wrote that he's treating me for FMS. Well, Duh!!! I already told them that.

    I guess something is better than nothing. I at least have of some documentation from my doctor, even if it is lame.
  7. popgun

    popgun New Member

    Newswoman I have been where you are but it was before ADA so I had less control but the story is the same.First you must MUST get a LAWYER NOW.They, your employer has already alerted their lawyer and they will stonewall you every which way. I would drop the meeting at this point because they are not interestd in your health. If you can't do your job they are going to find someone who will.Remember the squeeky wheel does not always get greased, it sometimes gets replaced.Sorry to be so blunt but you asked for suggestions and my suggestion is get a LAWYER not just any lawyer but one with a good record on this type of litagation, go getem Newswoman.
    [This Message was Edited on 02/06/2003]
  8. Mom3

    Mom3 New Member

    I know exactly how you feel. I have fibro from a car accident and a week before my accident I got a job promotion, well I was off work for a year and tried to go back to my promotional job, it didn't work I was not ready to return so being a good worker, my manager saved my new job for another 6 months, well I was not able to work in my new promotion job it was too demanding so I stepped down thinking I will do light duties and work on a modified schedule until I could increase my hours. Well that went on for 6 months with my supervisor and manager putting pressure that in order for them to keep my on I had to be full time, they are supposed accommodate me until undue hardship but they didn't. Before all of this they told me I was a valuable employee and never did I think I would be in a situation like this. Just before Christmas someone, not even my supervisor or manager from Human Resources called me in for a meeting to say my accommodation has failed that they could no longer employ me and that I should look for a part time job. I was devastated and went thru a terrible flare. My union president is helping me through this and of course I grieved it. We will be meeting with the employer in 2 weeks. If it does not resolve we will have a arbitrator mediate for us. I am not one who like to draw attention or cause any trouble, but when it comes to your health and what you can do we have rights and we should not feel guilty to excercise them!!!! Good luck to you keep us posted, I will do the same. Mom3
  9. pearls

    pearls New Member

    I agree that you must hire a lawyer now and you don't have to let them know yet that you have one. You need a lawyer's advice. I was thinking as I read everything that you can bet the other side has already been consulting their lawyer, but someone else has already suggested that to you. I'm only repeating it so you'll know others agree on that one.

    Good luck to you. Please, do keep posting. I'm in a situation where our school administration keeps adding to its teachers' responsibilites year after year for the past five and a half years with no respite. The older ones among us are at the ends of our ropes. I know I certainly am. In fact, the overwork and stress may very well have had a lot to do with at least the severity of my illness, if not the actual start of it. So, we all want to follow how you are doing.

    Soft hugs and hopeful thoughts,
  10. ZosoLight

    ZosoLight New Member


    Sorry to hear your situation.

    I asked for and got ADA accomodations at my work.
    After months of workinng part time from home, my doc ordered me to discontinue all together.

    Consult a qualified disabiity atty., becasue you do have rights. Don't let them run over you.


  11. Newswoman

    Newswoman New Member


    I have never threatened to sue anyone. I have only told my supervisor what ADA guidelines are about reasonable accommodations. I asked her to reasonably accommodate me by putting things in writing. She told me, "I don't feel I should have to spend my time writing things down." How is providing things in writing an "undue hardship?" That's just a good business practice. Period.

    I am a very direct person (as if you couldn't tell). Believe me, if I had promised (I don't make idle threats) to sue...they would have been told so by now. And I, of course, wouldn't make that type of a verbal threat. That's why God invented lawyers and EEOC to do your dirty work for you.
  12. JudyCNC

    JudyCNC New Member

    I agree with the person that recommended that you consult with an attorney. Be very sure that you get one with strong knowledge and experience in worker's comp, ADA, etc. I am an RN and work as a Legal Nurse Consultant and have lots of backgroud in workcomp, etc. I also have a child with Fibromyalgia, so I understand firsthand how difficult this must be for you. Do NOT give up. If your work has been excellent, you've been a good employee, etc. the right attorney can get this resolved for you.

    good luck to you!!!!!!!!!!!!!

  13. suejones

    suejones New Member

    Reading about this happening to you sounds just like my problem. I have already went EEO to file a complaint and now I have went to the Union and they are going to represent me, people I work for have crossed many lines as far as FMLA and agreements. I struggle each day, as I'm sure most do with this dd then to have people to act as if your faking or using it as an excuse not to come to work. On top of this dd with me my son(16) is really sick also with a personality disorder from a seizure he had. Now I have to take him to aPsychiatrist because he is so stressed/depressed and can't even go to school due to the fact he is sick every morning sometimes throwing up. People here have absolutely no compassion, I was told my absences were getting out of hand. Well excuse me I forgot I asked for this. I was doing better with not having to take pain pills but now I'm back up to at least 2-3 a day. Now I'm nauseated in the morning knowing I have to come to work, I have been given a letter now for proposal for suspension. Of course I'm fighting it.

    Stand up for yourself, if it takes getting a lawyer then do it, if we get shot down at least we can't say we didn't try.


  14. pamela

    pamela New Member

    That's what I did and it worked. It had to say re-evaluate every 30 days or the state was going to send me on Medical leave w/out pay. Anyway, office sucks!!!!!!! Please write and keep us informed..this is very interesting and definitely can help alot of people on this board. Definitely document everything and if you have not been doing that, back's better than nothing. Good Luck!!! Pamela
  15. Newswoman

    Newswoman New Member

    I didn't have the meeting with the CFO yesterday (Friday). She seems keen on avoiding me and the subject. When I e-mailed her, I wrote that my health was going downhill and the affects of my illness was making it difficult for me to come into work every day. I wrote that I needed to discuss the issue with her again.

    The reason I know she's avoiding the subject with me is because of her behavior. A fellow employee was two hours late for work Friday because of a doctor's appointment. The CFO proceeded to ask her a bunch of questions about her health and what the doctor said....yada...yada...yada.

    The other reason that I doubt she forgot about our meeting is because of her body language around me (thank God for that body language section of my journalism class in high school). Every time I went near her yesterday, she would tense she was holding her breath and hoping I wouldn't ask when we were having the meeting. If she saw me coming, she would quickly go the opposite way or leave the room.

    I'm not quite sure what to make of this. Perhaps it's just a case of me having killer insomnia and too much time on my hands to think about this. I think if they really wanted to get rid of me (which isn't out of the question), the CFO wouldn't have tip-toed around me all day. I also noticed that my supervisor is now making an attempt to put things in writing and is sending me little "reminders."

    I personally think it's a a ploy. They could say that they are making reasonable accommodations. If I don't use or follow written instructions or reminders, they could use that for grounds to fire me. Or on the other hand, the supervisor finally got around to reading the information I gave her, and she realized that she was in deep caca.

    If my health can hold out I might be able to speak with an attorney and my mother before I have to speak with the CFO. Then I might be able to get what I need or I will be out of a job. If I do happened to get fired, I have a former boss who's dying for me to come back to his station. So, I'm set either way.

    Sorry for the stream of conciousness writing. It's been a long night. I just thought I'd keep everyone posted. I hope everyone has a great weekend!