Never ending Sunday...

Discussion in 'Chit Chat' started by Suzan, Aug 26, 2007.

  1. Suzan

    Suzan New Member

    Gosh the weekends are the toughest...He left for about 5 hours..and spent most of the rest of the time in his room..and "I" took over the living room instead of always removing myself and going to my room. Have to say that felt pretty darn good..I mean it is MY home..still..although not for long.

    Today is another story..he is here all day long..and although much of the time he has been in his bedroom...still he is here..and so am I..and the day is taking forever to pass..

    Things are lining up for me to move...I just have to stay strong for a while longer..then I can get out of my son's..and THEN maybe I will finally feel safe enough to fall apart for a bit..I find it hard to think about anything in the world other than my own situation..although I know the world is still going seems somehow to have stopped for me right now. All the things that interested me...barely hold my interest right now.

    But , don't despair for me. I am trying to have hope for my future...I am thinking that it is time for move on..and find something..maybe even someone...that is MORE than what I have had here. I know that the world is still a wondrous place..and I am going to get to see it from a whole new vantage point...and that could be a really good thing, right?

    So..keep sending me your strength and positive thoughts..and I will get thru these next days..and soon be able to return to a much better frame of mind!


  2. OpheliaP

    OpheliaP New Member

    I have been following your story and have not put my two cents worth in just because I don't really have anything useful in the way of advice. But I did want to let you know that I always check to see if you have updated. I care very much what happens to you and know from experience how very painful this is for you.

    I also know from experience how strong we can be when we need to be, and how, even though this is terrible now, your life will take a new turn and things will be wonderful for you in the future.

    Hang tough, girl. You have a bright future ahead of you.

  3. glenda2

    glenda2 New Member

    i am also from ky. what part are you from? i have been trough the same as you my heart goes out to you.

  4. Suzan

    Suzan New Member

    It helps knowing that there are people out there rooting for me!

    We moved from Milwaukee, WI to the Louisville KY area 16 months ago. One of the very sad things about this was OUR move south..and we did it! and now I have to leave....I was HOME here so quickly..and it breaks my heart to leave.

    As for getting out on the weekend...well I had hoped to..but the stress is kicking up the FM so badly..that driving is pretty much out of the I end up being stuck. I have gotten out a few times just for errands..and it IS good to get out of the house and into the world a bit...but this long weekend coming up..just is too scary to think of..hopefully 'he' will leave...for at least some of it...

    It is 11pm..and I am no where near tired...that has been happening a lot too...makes the days even longer...

    But..there are only 2 weeks left...and I can go. Tomorrow I will order the truck..and my son and 2 others are coming down to load and drive me back to WI...I imagine that day will be tough...and yet in the end a relief of sorts...It is still so hard to believe that this is all happening...

    Again..I appreciate you all so much!

  5. budmickl

    budmickl New Member

    As I read your posts about your situation, the only thing I can think of.... I wonder if I can find his profile?? AND PLAY HIM FOR A FOOL????

    Packing and loading is probably the hardest part of leaving. It is so final, but you can live through it. And come out better for it.

    Be strong
  6. doxygirl

    doxygirl New Member

    This has got to be hard on you because I know it is breaking my heart!

    This could happen to anyone of us at any time......and you are a true example of a woman with her pride and dignity...."yes' I know it is killing you inside but you are taking it like a lady......

    Please don't forget to stop and let it all out is ok to cry and grieve.......once you get settled maybe even find a good counselor to help you pave the road smooth for your next chapter in your life.......

    I have followed your story and look often to see how your doing.......

    I too wonder how much longer it will be before he realizes he made the biggest mistake of his life.........sounds like his myspace page isn't producing too much if he is most often sitting in the house LOL!!!!!!!!!!but that serves him right

    I told you in the beginning of this that he will be sorry and I still believe that....may take him awhile but most men that do this usually are sorry when they see the grass is not greener on the other side.........

    Remember that no matter what happens Iam here for you......

    I would like to know if he knows about your leaving? also if your lawyer says it is a good move for you to leave?

    Has he been served any papers? If he knows none of these things I think it will be quite a surprise to him.....but my hat is off to you for not sticking around and letting him have his cake and eat it too.........

    My wish for you is for you to be happy.......whatever that may be.......I personally think you have invested too much into this relationship for him to just be so done so quickly......but it is refreshing to see that you are open down the road to giving someone else a chance to truly love you.....

    for many say that love is much better second time around!:)

    well, my dear when you have a minute or two please let me know how your doing and fill us in on what he does and does not know!

    "Oh" and Budmicki you made me LOL I do think that would be so hilarious to take him down on his myspace adventure! LOL LOL

    Bye for now my friend and and always....remember once again Iam here for you just as so many others are.......we are all so lucky that so many here give unconditionally and care so deeply!

  7. Suzan

    Suzan New Member

    At this point 'he' seems to have no idea that I am leaving. Which is the plan. I will be telling him just a couple days before I go. I am getting ready to move..but it is sort of 'hidden'. I have tossed a lot of junk that I cannot take with me.

    I have emptied bins to repack..but he can't tell they have been emptied. I have packed some things already, but it isn't obvious that I have done so. I am limited to what my son can fit in his I am definately travelling light. IF I were able to get my own place..well, I would go after much more of the stuff we own..but since I can't..well, it is just STUFF.

    My atty. told me I can do this all 'my way'. That includes him being served papers AFTER I have moved on. That way I don't have to deal with his reaction till I am ready. My son only has a cell Dh won't be able to just call me...he will be able to email..but that is all under my control whether I chose to answer him or not.

    After these weeks of emotional distress..I just don't want to deal with any emotions with him. Especially mine!

    I will walk out of here with my head held high..and no regrets about the way I have behaved or the choices I have made. I only did what he forced me to do...I protected my financial future..and I did my best to protect my heart.

    When I allow myself to think about just saddens me so that he could have had so much more in this marriage...but he 'forgot' that it takes work from HIM too. He 'forgot' to put his energy into making it better.

    I don't think I will ever forgive him for letting is slide..and leaving it all up to me. Then tossing me out when I was sick and had no financial resources...

    I always knew he had demons that he fought...but they have surfaced again...and I cannot fight them any more. I must move on.

    You all help with your words of encouragement...this is the toughest road I have ever travelled...I have felt more alone in this than I have ever felt before. But I do have support..and I will survive and hopefully even thrive in my new chapter.


  8. Suzan

    Suzan New Member

    Everything I am planning is done with my lawyers OK.
  9. Suzan

    Suzan New Member

    Now that I have shared this much with you all..I will continue the least till I am back in WI...


  10. ksp56

    ksp56 Member

    I too, having been reading your posts.

    I am sorry for you and your children. I find you aboslutely amazing. You are not allowing yourself to be a 'victim' and playing the 'why me' card.

    You have all been in my prayers and thoughts. They will continue to be with each of you.

    He will be blown away with you taking charge. He could change his mind when reality comes knocking at his door. It may shake some sense into him, and acknowledge what a wonderful and special woman, he is going to lose.

    You are a brave and strong woman. I admire you and respect you. You may be sick, but you continue to fight for your life. A BIG SHOUT OUT to you!

    Gentle hugs, Kim

  11. Suzan

    Suzan New Member

    Your words sure made me feel good...

    I guess I am stronger than I expected to be with all this...

    I do have amazing kids...some would say it is because of me...but I just think of myself as being lucky to have been graced with these amazing people!

    I saw the doc this a.m. and he has set up my scrips for 2 I don't have to worry about meds for a while.That is a relief..and I stopped at the vet and got the meds I need for my shih tzu another thing off the list.

    I am shocked that in little more than a week I will be leaving my home...but I try to look at it right now as I am just going to visit...( a visit with LOTS of luggage!!LOL) That helps me deal with it all better.

    Still waiting for that call from my atty for our next meeting..I sure hope I hear from him this week..even if I can't see him till next least then I KNOW...Not knowing things right now is just unbearable!

    So.I am doing ok today...
    Again and again...thanks for the support!
  12. Granniluvsu

    Granniluvsu Well-Known Member

    You are doing so well and so many have told you what I would be saying again. I have posted before on one or two of your other posts about your situation.

    Yes, none of us know how strong we can be untill we have to be so. From what I can see you are doing all the right things. Please do keep in touch and let us know his reaction to your move.

    I am sure it is terribly hard for you to be at home with him after all this and what he has said to you. I am sure that was like a dagger in your heart - at least at first. It all sounds to fishy to me like something has been or will be going on with him soon with someone else,considering what he had said to you and all the work you had been doing for him in the past. I still can't get over the supposed reason for him saying that he couldn't live with you anymore - unbelievable.

    God bless you and BIG HUGS,

  13. Granniluvsu

    Granniluvsu Well-Known Member

    Dear Suzan,

    I just had a thought that I forgot to add to my last post. Hope you will have some help packing or moving what ever you have to move, esp if there is furniture involved at all.

    Are any of your children or your son going to be able to help with the move? I know what a mess that can be and takes alot of energy, which I am sure you do not have alot of at this point. I never do !! Keep pushing myself - ugh !! Yes, you truly are a strong and special lady !!! Keep it up hon !!

    Continued blessings and hugs,

    Granni (Marilyn)
  14. Suzan

    Suzan New Member

    More than I expected actually..
    My middle son, my nephew, and my son's friend..who has been 'adopted' into our family..they are all 3 making the drive down to help 'mom' move...
    I am so lucky!

    Pieces keep falling into place...dh seems to have no idea...

    He left the house go who knows where..or with who?? but I dont' care..I relax a lot more when he is not here...after all..this is still my home..for a while yet!

    I just am hoping he leaves more over this long weekend!

    Hanging in there....

  15. Suzan

    Suzan New Member

    More than I expected actually..
    My middle son, my nephew, and my son's friend..who has been 'adopted' into our family..they are all 3 making the drive down to help 'mom' move...
    I am so lucky!

    Pieces keep falling into place...dh seems to have no idea...

    He left the house go who knows where..or with who?? but I dont' care..I relax a lot more when he is not here...after all..this is still my home..for a while yet!

    I just am hoping he leaves more over this long weekend!

    Hanging in there....