Never felt so bad about my medical historyBUMP

Discussion in 'Fibromyalgia Main Forum' started by rosemarie, Oct 27, 2006.

  1. rosemarie

    rosemarie Member

    I requested my medical records from my OBGYN who has now retired and I am looking for a new GYN. I sat to night and read my charts knowing that there were long dissusions about my taking so much pain medications.

    You see my pain began when I was young and by the time I was in my teens and had periods fom hell. Over the years my doctor would have a "TALK" with me about the amount of pain medicaiions I was taking. I had been on Tyenoyel #3 , mepragan forte and shots of dmeoral.

    As I sat and read all my past history I just cried. Why was I the one who had this never hending pain , everything from bad cramps , headaches, falls where I hurt my back and knee's, surgeries for pelvic pain and much more.

    I was reading on and found that when I had the last surgery I was taking MSCointin 60 mgs x3 a day and perocet 10/650 and now I am on MScontin 100 mgx4 and MSIR 30 mgx3.
    What is it that caused me to have so much pain in my life and to be such a baby about pain.

    No one I know has ever taken the amount of pain pills that I have taken in my life. NO one I know took pain pills for bad headache and two weeks later would need a refill of the T3's . I would have been given a perscription for 20 pills of tyenoyl #3 and it was the standard scrpt of take 1-2 every 4-6 hours.

    And the headaches that I had seemed to last for days and as soon as it was gone then it was time for that monthy thing that women go through. And again I was calling in for some thing for the pain as it would be so bad that I would pass out from it.

    I remember fainting one night when I was at work , I worked at a fast food place that was very small and there were just 3 of us on a shift and I was at the grill when the cramps hit me and I was told that my face went white and I passed out and my mom was called and I was taken home and was in so much pain that I had to have a shot of demoral and pehergan.

    The cramps lasted for my whole period. So I was always taking pain pills so that I could go to school and have some kind of life.

    MY life was like that up until the day I had my hyesterectomy and then I thought I would be out of pain but it didn't end with the surgery it only got worse. Now my back and knees hurt all the time and the more pain I had the more I would ask for pain meds.
    Some time there would be a month or two that I didn't have any pain pills and it didn't bother me and then some thing happened I would trip and fall and once more the pain was there again and I would be given 30 pills and told to make sure they lasted for at least a month.

    I saw other doctors as one does not always need a OB-gyn but they all felt the same as he did. I was in pain but didn't need to be treated with narcoic pain meds. I should try some thing differnt like ULtram and toradol and all they did was make me sick and have painic attacks and did nothing for my pain. I started having panic attacks when I had my hyesterectiomy and I still have them as well .


    So way back when I had my hyester ( I was 34 yrs old and had 3 girls) I was put on Xanax and have been on it ever since. I was on the same dose till about 3 years ago when I had some problems with my marriage.

    But for some strange reason I feel guilty for all the years of needing pain pills when every one I knew never usesd them like I did. Was I what my doctor thought a drug addict or was I just someone in pain. I don't know any more.

    I don't know what to think any more I have spent most of my life taking something for pain when others didn't. I started to see a pain doctor when my GP told me that he would NOT ever prescribe any thing that was a narcoic for me again. And that really hurt me as I really didn't think that I was taking that much pain meds.

    May be I was and just didn't know it maybe I am addictied to pain pills and just don't know it. I know that I can go for over 24 hours with out taking my pain meds. As I have had to do it when my mom was in the hosptial and I left my pain meds at home and that was over a 2 hour drive away. So I had to go with out them and yes I hurt but I didn't go thru withdrawls or even feel sick to my stomche.


    The pain was so bad I was almost in tears but I was not going to cry when my mom was so sick and could die and I was in pain but I could live with it if I had to do so. Pain was not something that could kill me while the blood clots in my mom's lungs could kill her. Thankfully that didn't happen to her but she is still not as healthy at she could be at 79 years old.]

    I don't know what is going on in my head now, I am just upset that so much of my life was filled with pain and pain meds. Why me , If my doctors felt that I was taking too much pain pills then why didn't they stop giviing them to me. I was close to 45 when my gp said no more pain pills.
    I have talked to my pain doctor who tells me that I am not addicted to my pain meds as I have stopped taking so many of them and had him reduce the amount I take. And I do take my meds when I need them and not when I don't.
    I don't know what I am feeling right now. I wonder if my doctor was right that I was just a baby when it came to pain and I needed to grow up and learn to deal with it better and I still don't do that.

    Enough of my whinning. I am sorry this is so long and depressing.
    HUGS,
    Rosemarie
    [This Message was Edited on 10/28/2006]
  2. lenasvn

    lenasvn New Member

    My brain is too pooed to say anything intelligent, so I'll just say "Hugs"!

    You are NOT a big baby, you had a long painfilled life.

    Spoil yourself tonight, will you please? A nice bath, some CHOCOLATE, a good movie!
  3. rosemarie

    rosemarie Member

    Bump BUMP
    Rosemarie
  4. Gothbubbles

    Gothbubbles New Member

    Why is it that when other people aren't like us we assume we're somehow wrong? Just because others don't go through your pain doesn't make you a sissy.

    Honestly, with that much pain working in front of a grill is pretty hardcore.

    I get nerve pain, which I'm not sure is the same as you get, but I could never work with such heat--Maybe I'm a big sissy!

    Don't let people bully you because you're awoman or because you're nice to them.

    Your pain is valid. And it sounds really severe. You should bring a list of all the meds that you tried that didn't work whenever you see a doctor (And they try to tell you you're taking too many meds)
  5. tinktink

    tinktink New Member

    Rosemarie, I too have a low pain threshold.... sometimes I wonder if it is not a part of this dd. I would have menstural cramps so bad I would vomit for up to the first 3 days of it and almost pass out..... every month for so many years ug. When I was in school the school nurse would just automatically call my mom when I walked in. I also had a hysterectomy in my early thirties for cervical cancer... no one bothered to tell me that would make me go through menopause early so that was another thing I went through unsupported because I thought the doctors would not believe me about my symptoms.

    As far as the pain pills goes I wish I could answer your question. On one hand yes we can become dependent on them but on the other hand no I don't think we should always suffer through without them. Maybe you could talk to a therapist who has some better knowledge of the whole issue to get some answers for yourself.

    Just wanted to send some support and say hang in there. Best Wishes Diana
  6. chloeuk

    chloeuk New Member

    I think this is really really bothering you...this is maybe the third post where you have talked about the painkillers and why you have to take so many etc.(please dont think I am judging you) I am just saying that obviously you are really struggling with this issue.

    You say that you can go 24hrs without the meds and dont get withdrawal symptoms...the thing is if you have been on them for a long time your body will go into withdrawal if you stop them, this is called dependancy and it is not the same as addiction...it is the same as if you are on an anti dperessant and you stop taking it, your body will react to not having the drug.

    The worst thing with painkillers is they block our natural brain process of fighting pain so that our pain threshold does go down...but although this is a huge problem initially if you stop meds it does improve and eventually return to normal.

    We are all different and our pain is only measurable by us..you do build a tolerance to opiate pain meds over time so need more to have the same effect, same with benzodiazepines...and they are much harder to stop and shouldnt be stopped abruptly.

    The thing is that if you live in pain you need pain meds its as simple as that..going down the road of stopping pain pills is a hard one, I know from experience..I stopped using them 10 weeks ago and it has been very hard, rebound pain is hard to deal with and also emotionally you dont realise that these meds do help you cope with life and when you stop them you are left with anxiety type symptoms...I have however yesterday had to take them for extreme pain..and its hard to accept but the fact is pain is pain and its hard to live with.

    I do think that this is worrying you a great deal and maybe it would help to read more information on addiction, this may help you to see that you are taking them correctly and stop you beating yourself up about this.

  7. NyroFan

    NyroFan New Member

    RoseMaria:

    I would find a doctor who did not label me as anything close to a drug addicted.

    The guilt is not ours. We need pain meds to live as normal a life as we can.

    If you feel you really need the pain meds, then discussion might follow with your old doc or a new one.

    Personally, I would not be able to maintain my life as it is without the pain meds.

    And, please feel better soon and just take very good care of your self. Do not fret.

    nyrofan
  8. blueski31717

    blueski31717 New Member

    When I was in nursing school the first thing we learned was pain is subjective meaning basically this is your pain and I do not know really how you feel. Something that you feel is horrible pain to you, may not be as bad to another and visa versa. Your pain is your pain and I nor anyone else cannot tell you how much you hurt.

    I as a nurse can evaluate your perception of your pain and then medicate you. I have seen people go through major operations and have very little pain and on the other hand my nephew when he was young scratched his knee and passed out. Did he hurt more than the person who had the operation...no his perception of pain was his alone and he percieved his pain was great.

    I had a doctor tell me " you shouldn't hurt that bad, your disc in your neck is slightly bulging."

    To him I told, " Sir, I never said that was my only problem that makes me hurt but since you have no compassion, you do not have to worry about my disc , my pain, nor me again, good bye."

    I wrote on your other post about this and please do not stress about what others think...