Never knew that loading my dishwasher could make

Discussion in 'Fibromyalgia Main Forum' started by rosemarie, Sep 17, 2005.

  1. rosemarie

    rosemarie Member

    me feel like I have been run over my that mack truck. It has just been over 2 weeks since I had my galbladder removed, I am still having this pain in the muscles in my stomache. I was told by a doctor that that type of pain was "NORMAL" to have after gallbladder.

    I have not done so much today but I am so tired and so weak feeling and I am getting tired of it. I have loaded the dishwer and done servaaal loads of laundry and I didn't know that just doing samll looods of laundy could make me so tired and want to just lay down and sleep for a long time.

    I am getting worried about my husbands attititude about me. HE seems to always be onery. I hvae not getten my energry back and so I am not doing as much as I have been doing in keeping the house clean, I will lay down on the couch and suddenly I will be dozed off and yet I can hear the TV going and the pnone that rings. But itis upsetting to me that he expects that I am out of the hospital now and I should be better and be albe to do things And this sleeping in the day time has got to go. HE does not understand that it takes alot of time for the body to heal after this kind of surgery.

    I know that he is stressed over his work and it is worring hiim about his job. HE is working far tomany hours and I am worried that his health is getting worse. I know that I have been whinning about me alot , but I do tink and am very concerned about his health as he has type 2 dieabeties and he is not eating when he should or what he should be eating. I am worried that he will get worse as ihis blood suger is starting to be higher than it should. When he first was dianosed with this he ate so well and he kept a food diary and made sure that he did not over do withthe carbs and really watched it but now HE is too busy to keep track of it. I try to talk to him about it and i get yelled that I don't need to worry about his health. He is my husband and I feel that as his wife I should be able to know what his health hystory is and could become. But he wants me to not worry abouthima and he does not want me to know what his conditstion is. So I understand why he does not act like he is concerned about my health. I am worried about him and that he will not talk to me very much.

    We have gone through some hard time together and seperated for 9 months adn then after cousleling but it does not seem to have helped him to be more open abouthow he is feeling.

    I try not to whine and moan about how rotten am feeling as it just seems to irratate him. But he will come home fro work and i will be laying the couch and I will doze off quicikly not maning to fall alsseep but I can't seem to help it. It happends a few times a day. I will sleepin most mornings and I try to be up and awake and doing things so that he knows that i have been doing things like keeping the house clean.

    I am restricted now for about a month after my gall bladder surgery I can't vaccum at all for at least 2-4 months , no lifting at all, don't bend over alot as it just makes the muscles spasam and cause me eto have more and more pain. And becase I am dozing off he is thinking that I am taking to much of my pain meds and I am not. I am worried that he is feeling like i am overdosing on my meds when I am not as I don't take them as often as I should. I will finally fall asleep and I will stay aaasleep till noon and I have now slept over the time to tke my 9am meds.

    With the condititions I have like degenerative disc diease, spinal stenosis, arthritis in my knees and left wrist,fibromyaligia, Chronic meyofacial pain syndrome, and I have had several major surgeries and had complacatations from them. I am taking stong pain medicatations and I worry about the addiction factor that i could have. I am scared of becomming addicted to the meds , so I started to take just the minimum amout that I can get by with . I don't like taking pain pills. But I don't know how to get my husband to understand about the condittions as they make me sleepy and tired all the time. And I know that my takeing the narcotic paian meds I am taking it worris him and my daughters that I can become addicted to these meds. And sicne the illness's I have make me sleepy and sound grogry at time they assume that i am taking to many or I am addicted to them.

    I am worried that it is taking me so long to recoer from the surgery I hvae just had and I am worried about my Husband's health , He means the world to me and I only want him to feel good and for him to be healthy. I love him and I want him to be happy and to feel like I love him more than anything else. I am afarid that he is not doing all he can for the diebeties. And that he worries about my taking my meds because i am recoverying from a surgery and I have fibromyaligia and CMP all whicj make you feel tired and achey adn not feel so great. But i am not takeing to much of the pain meds. What do I do? How do I get him to open up? I just want him to be happy and to know that he is the most special man for me.

    I know that getting over gallgladder surgery takes time to get over eeven out paitnet surgery. I had to spend a night in the hospital too as my 02 was too low. So I have had problems fromt his surgery and I just want him to understand me when I tell him that i am not taking too much oof my pain meds adn i want him to believe in me as i belive in him.

    Sorry for all the wihiing about my life. I am just still in pain from having the muclles moved around in my body and the pain it left in me. But I will get better with in a few months I hope.

    Sorry for being a boob .
    Love ya,
    Rosemaire
  2. orachel

    orachel New Member

    You silly thing! You aren't in any way being a "boob"! LOL Sounds like a big ole mess, and we all go thru them from time to time.

    1) my dishwasher nearly kills me, too...and I'm not recovering from surgery. I think its the combination of repetitive bending and twisting. MURDER for me!

    2) I know recovery from surgery is tough (and btw...have never recovered from a single surgery in the time frame doctors give you...and that was before any of my FM issues! However, i do want to give you a teensy caution. Don't wanna scare you though, cause chances are EXTREMELY low that theres anything to worry about. There are a multitude of things that can occur during or after a surgery to give patient MAJOR pain and complication, and possibly cause real harm if not detected. I'm sure this isn't your case, but you know your body better than anyone, and if you're hurting THAT bad, and it just doesn't feel right to you...go to your doc or er right away, and just make sure they check you thoroughly from wound site healing and tenderness to possibly an xray or mri. Its so rare, but so many possibilities out there, and it usually becomes a major health issue when there are complications because patients tell themselves to "suck it up" and deal with the pain. My brother had a terrible compound fracture in his arm when he was 9 years old...I was with him when it happened. He got it set at hospital, no problemo at all. Gets home, no issues. Within about 1/2 hour he was really in pain, almost writhing in pain and it scared the heck out of me. Dad kept saying "of course it hurts, he broke his arm!", but the amount of pain just seemed wrong. I finally complained and begged so much that I got Dad to take Jacob back to the er. Luckiest moment of our lives. Immediately, doctor realized Jacob had a 1 in 2 million side effect! Internal pressure built up so bad inside his arm, inside the cast, that if we'd waited 2-4 hours longer, they would have had to amputate his arm..it would have died completely. WHEW! So, a surgery later, and a couple of scars, and now he has full use of arm and is even a surfer!
    So, if it feels wrong to you, get checked, ok?

    As for your marriage...I empathize...I've been there...I think we all have! Only suggestion I have is to try to sit down with him and just explain what you're feeling physically...that you hate that the extra responsibilites fall upon him, but you literally have no other option. Then, get out your wedding album, or look at kids baby pics or something to remind you why you love each other in the first place. And tell him that you understand his frustration, but in the big scheme of things, what difference does a messy house make for a couple of months! Mine's been REALLY messy (though not filthy! everythings clean, just not organized or put away) for a few mos because I simply haven't been able to do it. Hubby is slightly irritated (or lots irritated, depending on his mood!) as he's a former military man and a neat freak. Well, so am I usually, but che sera sera!

    Wishing you HUGS and Health...
    Rachel
  3. orachel

    orachel New Member

    Maybe look up on the internet and find a couple articles for your hubby abt new findings WIDELY accepted by doctors in last few years. Studies basically say that it is nearly impossible for a person dealing with real, knockdown dragout chronic pain to get "addicted" to pain meds if they are taking reasonable dosages. Now don't get me wrong...theres a difference between addiction (causes drug seeking behavior) and dependence (which means have to taper off drug so body doesn't flip...dependence is just a medical fact for many drugs out there.

    And as for your hubby's health. I know what you mean! My husband is BLESSEDLY in great health now, but has a bad back so can't really work out (but manages to push himself waaay too hard on home improvements which makes it worse!), and works 70-80 hr weeks in extreme stress, and eats terribly (though doesn't gain a pound! LOL), never gets enough sleep, and usually has to almost wait on me hand and foot (which is very tough on both of us...as you know!) and I just worry like crazy that he's on a collision course with heart disease! While you're having that talk and remembering why you love each other and married in the first place, I'd very cautiously bring up the fact that you love him so much and you worry that his focus on taking care of you while you've been so ill (always good to give a man a little compliment!) has made him forget to take care of his own health, and you're scared for him. Just make a "vow" to each other, that you'll both start being extra diligent in your own health care, and watching out for the health of your spouse...because you want to be with each other for MANY MANY years to come!

    Rachel
  4. Jeanne-in-Canada

    Jeanne-in-Canada New Member

    Wow, lots on your plate. You can't be feeling guilty on top of it. I feel so blessed that my fiance encourages me to rest and doesn't bother me about pain meds. He sees my calendar where I log it all. Maybe having a calendar on the wall that your concerned hubby and daughter can see where you log all your meds will show you take them responsibly.

    I wouldn't take getting my head bitten off for asking about hubbies health though. You can't be two separate people in the same house, but having to emotional support yourselves, you need to be able to lean on each other.

    With all our house renos and having to be apart so much this summer, my fiance was getting too snarky too often. I gave him lots of latitude for awhile because he needs understanding and support too, he's super supportive of me. But finally I got snapped at once too often, it was getting to be a regular habit, and it was time to rein the big ole boy in. And I did.

    I admire anyone who has weathered a relationship so long and raised children. I hope me and my fiance will manage as long. I guess I'm like a mouse trying to give the cat advice, because I've only been w/ mine for 2 yrs. But I guess it's mostly a show of solidarity.


    Jeanne
  5. JLH

    JLH New Member

    Hope you begin to feel better soon!

    It's never any fun recovering from surgery, especially when you're sick to begin with!!

    Wishing you a speedy recovery,
    Janet
  6. rileyearl

    rileyearl New Member

    I wish you could mail your husband to my house for a few days. He would be so grateful to get home to you! This place is so full of clutter that it's scary.

    I'm so sorry you're having such a hard time recovering. And getting so little support from your husband. Maybe if you lie down on the bed instead of the couch, he'll more easily accept that you are sick? Maybe you could put some Vicks Vaporub on and smell like a sick person. Or maybe you just need to wait until tomorrow or the next day and you'll both be feeling better.

    So many people are afraid of addiction. They don't realize that addiction would just be another symptom we'd treat, if it was a concern. When you have pain, you do what you can to make it stop or at least take a step back.

    Someone posted a story the other day about a woman explaining to her friend what it felt like to be so sick. I think I'll put it in its own post. You might ask your husband to read it.

    Wishing you well!

    Francie
  7. ilovecats94

    ilovecats94 New Member

    I can relate to what you are talking about as I had to go to the doc today because of a bladder infection and a fever. I was hurting terrible and hubby misunderstood and I ended up having to apologize when I came back home from the docs.

    Seems men would understand. I have diabetes type 2 also. It can make you tired, Rosemarie. Well the way your husband is acting is not unusual for diabetics. It is just hard to stay on the right eating plan 24/7. It's hard to live with. Is he on insulin or pills? I'm on insulin 3 x a day.

    Your husband needs to check his sugar on a regular basis. He would feel better if his blood sugar was better. He has to want to do this. You can't do it for him.

    I'm not worried about being addicted to the pain meds. My problem is they pep me up and give me energy and make me feel happier, which is why I'm still up tonight at almost 4 AM. I'm getting tired now though.

    I really hope things get better for you Rosemarie, and that you'll feel better soon. I sleep late most days and my husband doesn't say much about it.
    But I remember many years ago that I was the one who got up early and he was the one who slept past noon.

    Take care!

    Hugs,
    Faye
  8. IamLuved

    IamLuved New Member

    Hi Rosemaire,

    I had my gallbladder removed about 6 years back and I was in the hospital a month because of tremendous pain. Then when I finally got home it took me several months to actually get over it. It was a horrible experience and I'm sorry you're having to go through it too.

    I think people with our "syndromes" will have this type of reaction to surgeries. It's just not fair.

    Keep up the faith and know that eventually you'll get over it. As for your husband, make an appointment for him to see his diabetes doctor. Go with him and explain to the doctor y'alls situation. Maybe his meds are off somewhat. Maybe he's over-doing it at work. There are lots "small" things that can cause grumpiness and moodiness. His doctor can find out and maybe help. Make him go!!

    God Bless

    Jacque
  9. Bruin63

    Bruin63 Member

    I'm so sorry that your going through all this, at a time when you need to Rest.
    It does take Us awhile to recover from Surgies, and even some test's can wipe us out.

    Just take care of yourself, and don't Overdo, ok, and don't feel bad about it, Men like to fix things, as we all know and it's something that can't be hurried along.
    So he is probably at a loss of what to do about your illness and this surgery.

    Vent all you want kiddo, that's what this place is for, it sure helps to talk to others who know what your going through.
    I'm hoping that today will be a better one for you,
    Painfree too.
    sharonk