New and overwhelmed!!!!

Discussion in 'Fibromyalgia Main Forum' started by mnweb6, Feb 18, 2006.

  1. mnweb6

    mnweb6 New Member

    Hi, I am new to this discussion site, and I am completely overwhelmed!!! I tried posting a question I had, but no one has responded, so I thought I would just introduce myself first and go from there.

    I am a single mom of 2 kids, and was diagnosed with FM a little over a year ago. Like so many people on here, I too went many years, and many doctors and procedures before receiving the diagnoses.

    My FM has gotten increasingly worse over the last 2 years, and now I am really scared. I have a friend that is in a wheelchair due to FM, and I can't get past the picture that my future is shaping up to be just that!!

    I carry around a lot of anger...along with getting the diagnosis, I was told that it was because of severe childhood abuse and neglect that I have FM. I have forgiven my adopted mother for the abuse she inflicted upon me, and with that came a huge release, but someday's, I am still angry with her! I can't even think about what my father did, I am still struggleing with that one. It is not that I am in denial, I am just still numb. I just am not ready to even face it.

    Has anyone else been told that they have FM due to Abuse?

    I am going to a pain clinic next week. It is supposed to be really good. They have massage therapy, along with water therapy. All I ever hear from the Dr.'s are; loose weight, exercise, you have to exercise!!! When I try to explain that when I do exercise, I end up in bed for 3 day's afterwards with severe pain!! Why don't they listen to me???

    I guess I have rambled on!! I think I am just hopefull to find a community here, and be able to share my experiances and realize that I am not alone!

    Thanks for being there!!

  2. Hope4Sofia

    Hope4Sofia New Member

    You do have a community here.

    I don't know what your future holds but I do believe there are ways to improve our living.

    I understand the exercise dilema as I also get aggrivated by it. But I'm still open to trying different types of exercise to see what might work. I think the key is to keep it low impact and maybe even in short intervals. If I find somehting that works I'll post it.

    I don't know that your FMS is CAUSED by the abuse you suffered but The FMS certainly could have been triggered by it. I have read that people who have suffered abuse or neglect are more likely to have a FMs diagn. But FMS is typical triggered by some form of stress. Abuse would certainly qualify.

    On that note. I want to say how deeply sorry I am that you were a victim of abuse. It is understandable that your anger would resurface at times and it is also understandable that you haven't come to terms with all of it. Some things are just beyond us.

    You are safe here.

    I hope your upcoming treatments are beneficial. Take care.

  3. Shananegans

    Shananegans New Member

    I am with you on the exercise, I do the best I can but it is so hard to suffer the consequences. I have found that the best kind of exercise so far is definitely low impact, stretching, anything of that sort. Low impact yoga has worked well for me in the past. I haven't been able to do it much lately but when I could it did help. The people on this board are so helpful and caring. We all listen and care so much about one another. I hope you do find comfort here.

    I am also sorry to here about your abusive life. It is a definite possibility that it could have triggered your FMS. Unfortunately they still don't quite understand why this happens to us, except that most people who end up with it lived high stress lives. I wish you well and hope things improve for you. I couldn't imagine suffering through this with a family. I am 26, diagnosed for 6 years but I don't have others to worry about so that helps emencly.

  4. cynny3

    cynny3 New Member

    Hi, and so sorry you are under so much and suffering so much. My husband was also adopted and he was also abused by his adopted mother and father.

    What helped him a lot was finding his real mom 5 1/2 years ago. Don't know if you have thought about this, but it has helped my husband a lot psychologically.

    Now for FM, which is what I have too. First of all, it sounds like you don't have a doctor who understand the disorder. All of us have gone through a million doctors. The lucky ones have found someone who truly understands it and how to treat it.

    Please, if there is one thing I would make your main priority, it is to find the right doctor. This website has a tab at the top header for "Doctor Referrals." If you need to travel to get to a better doctor, please do everything in your power to get there.

    I can only imagine being a single mom how challenging that must be. I have two young boys, but I also have a husband who is finally beginning to be supportive of this condition.

    My mother was a single mom of three and I believe she suffered from chronic fatigue before they had an official name for it. She was always so overwhelmed, she didn't make her health her priority. Consequently, she had early on-set Alzheimers and Dementia in her mid 50's.

    Please find the right doctor. There are truly treatments that can make you feel much much better. If you can't find a specialist in Fibromyalgia/Chronic Fatigue, then try a hormone and thyroid specialist.

    Most if not all FM'ers have Thyroid and Hormone issues that go undetected because standard test and standard test reading by doctors do not show the problems.

    Above all, know that we all want to help you and are here on the boards for you! Hang in there.

    [This Message was Edited on 02/18/2006]
    [This Message was Edited on 02/18/2006]
  5. lovethesun

    lovethesun New Member

    It's all like a family here.Those of us in a wheelchair aren't necessarily in it all day.Some days for me i only carry my cane if I think that I'm going to fall.

    My pain is well controlled for the time being.It's not all negative.Sometimes things just go in cycles,Linda
    [This Message was Edited on 02/19/2006]
  6. Pianowoman

    Pianowoman New Member

    Your story is so similar to many here. I'm glad you have found the board and can conect with so many others in your situation. This is a great place with many caring people. You will learn so much!

    There are lots of us who are not in wheelchairs; it doesn't always happen. Many are improving because of what they have learned here. Read all you can!

    Good Luck
  7. mnweb6

    mnweb6 New Member

    I really appreciate all of your support!

    I am unable to go to a different Dr. because I have Medicaid. They do not cover alternative treatments such as accupuncture, and hoalistic medicine, so all I can get to treat my FM is pain killers and muscle relaxers.

    Hopefully going to the Chronic Pain Clinic will help. Thanks for listening!!

  8. PVLady

    PVLady New Member

    I have read Fibro "can" be caused by childhood abuse as well as any other traumas, both mental and physical.

    I used to also get really sick after any exercise. These days, my physical pain is much better, I would say under control. The only exercise I do is walking which is pretty safe.

    I found a excellent pain specialist who happens to treat many fibro patients. I am on a weak opiate called Buprenorphrine. It is much easier to stop than regular opiates and it has worked to relieve my pain.

    Buprenorphrine is different - you don't have a risk of tolerance - you dissolve it under you tongue a few times a day. (As well as treating pain, it is also used to get people off of opiates with no withdrawals).

    Some doctors do believe in pain meds for fibro. In my opinion, you can't begin to get better until the pain is addressed. If you are aching all the time, it is hard to think about exercising, diet, etc.

    With many of us here, we had to keep looking to find the right doctor. Buprenorphrine (also called Subutex) has worked well for my pain. Doctors have to be specially licensed to prescribe it because it is also used in addiction medicine to help detox addicts.

    The only other meds I take is Tylenol Gel Caps and occasionally Ultram. Pain cannot be ignored and I do not believe exercising and weight loss will eliminate pain.

    You might try to find a new doctor who treat many fibro patients. I don't know what state you are in. I am in S. California and have a great doctor.

    What state are you in? Maybe we can find some other doctors you can check with.

    I do not think Fibro is progressive for everyone. Two years ago, I was housebound and almost bedridden. Today, I am relatively pain free. I found a doctor to treat my pain then gradually increased my activity.

    I have learned how to take care of myself and it helped me get better.

    [This Message was Edited on 02/18/2006]
  9. Esperanza25

    Esperanza25 New Member


    I'm so, so sorry for what you are going through. This has been a great board for me, it has helped get my anger of the daily life.I know what it is to be frustrated without having a sad childhood, but I also know about the past. I have never been told why I have FM. I was diagnosed in May 2005 and I was molested as child by two uncles and mom's brother in law... so, as you can see I believe that my childhood life has something to do with FM. But I also have been involved in several accidents. and I read somewhere that FMS has to do with emotional and physical trauma and I've had both.

    Attending pain management class was good but is doesn't cure you. However, I have to admit that exercising is the best and I know that you say that you can't... but what I did was start exercise in increments of 5 minutes or less whatever your body can take just don't over do it because then you are defeating the purpose, like you say you will be pain longer. Also, eating as healthy as possible and sleeping. It doesn't mean that I don't flare up, I do, but I'm in less pain because I exercise and eat well. I'm now exercising 2 to 3 days a week for about an hour.

    Just take your time, don't over do it, pace yourself, eat healthy and see what happens.

    Good luck and I hope this helps.


    [This Message was Edited on 02/18/2006]
  10. backporchrags

    backporchrags New Member

    Oh the exercize debacle! I think that is one thing we all get tired of hearing.
    Try not to get to overwhelmed with all of the info out there. FMS is a strange syndrome that affects people in different ways.
    What a friend has experienced with FMS may be radically different than what you go through.
    I have had FMS for 30 + years and still manage to get around alright and care for my 2 young children.
    There is always hope!
    Hugs and welcome,
  11. yjswan

    yjswan New Member

    Hi Mindy,
    I have been diagnosed with FMS for 3 years now and was never told there may be a link between my history of childhood abuse and severe neglect until recently. So now I'm researching it. One theory is that it changed our "fight or flight" reflex, prolonging our time spent in the "fight" reflex. This may have changed brain chemicals, such as corticotropin-releasing hormone which changes the way the brain allows other chemicals to respond to stress.

    In terms of your anger, I believe it is justified and normal. I am 54, have forgiven all my past abusers, but still feel angry, sad, resentful at times. I think it is only human and we do the best we can each day. God bless you in your life journey.

    I pray the pain clinic is helpful for you. I have found aquatic therapy to be the best form of exercise for me as long as I don't overdo. Massage has to be done with a light touch or I'm in pain for days.

    Let us all know how you are doing.

    God bless,
  12. Shalala

    Shalala New Member

    Hi Mindy :)

    I think responses are based upon what you put as a header and the "interest" of the people reading it. No one means to not make you feel welcome. I am fairly new on here too.

    I agree on the exercise deal. I hurt so bad afterward that I am worse off. Massage really helps me. I do the stretching exercises they taught me. I walk with a cane.

    FM due to abuse? I don't think anyone really knows WHY some of us are targeted (to get FM/CFS) and others aren't. I think that stress (including your abuse) makes us worse. So anger/stress management may be crucial to helping you feel better? I take an anti-depressant.

    Good luck & welcome :)
  13. Cinlou

    Cinlou New Member

    Hi there Mindy,
    Welcome to the board! I think exercise is good, but start out slowly. You have received some very good advice from others.

    My experience with FM has been a combination of factors, one being molestation by a stepdad begining at eight years old. I think the flight or fight thing is very possible. To be on a constant fear or on edge is awful on the nerves.

    On the other hand, I have DDD of the spine from a car accident years ago....this is also a stress. So, I believe many factors are at work for many of us.

    I am so sorry for the abuse that you have endured. It is so awful that a person that is suppose to protect you ends up being in control of you. Please do address these issues with someone that can listen to you. I believe a person is mind, body, and is all tied together.....we must work on the whole person.

    Welcome again...we are all friends here...

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